To celebrate America's fourth-favorite corporate holiday, the lads decide to flex their creative writing muscles by writing opposing erotic video game fanfiction to see whose chops for crafting stories of pixelated pounding is superior. There are only two rules: only the strong survive and if you laugh, you drink.

This week, the boys get into the works of Christian "Chrissy" Bale with a look at a movie that features the only martial art designed by geometry students and the only social dystopia designed by Reddit moderators. Also featured: Taye Diggs glazing, gamer Richard Gere and the only protein supplement that makes you red.

Will and Sam take a look at cinematic universes that never were in this Taran Egerton-led heist flick that dares to ask the question "what if someone did the Nolan Batman trilogy but it was not as good and also Batman had a gatling bow?" 

The boys watch a mid-90's martial arts masterpiece and appreciate a glimpse into Jackie Chan's vision of America--a beautiful and rabid frenzy of a country in which colorful gangs of dirtbike riders battle mullet-sporting, uzi-toting white men for supremacy over New York and hovercrafts are law.

Seann William Scott earns the second N in his name while Chow Yun Fat violates no less than seven out of ten tenets of the Bro Code while finding the time to engage in bouts of fighting surprisingly whimsical Nazis. 

The boys party hard in 2026 by flopping face-down in a big ol' pile of Michael Bay and snorting a line of Nic Cage. Why is Alcatraz a Zelda dungeon? What's Sean Connery's fursona? Is Dale Earnhardt the only one who can stop the Devil? All this and more on the first new episode of Slop Culture in 2026.

This week, the boys fill their goblets and drink deeply from the well of German auteur, Uwe Boll, and find that the taste reminds them fondly of foreign tax incentives, rubber orc suits and Ray Liotta's ghostly wizard juice.

In a new holiday tradition, the boys try to find a Christmas action movie that isn't Die Hard and settle on Tim Burton's relic from the pre-MCU era of superhero movies, Batman Returns--the only movie with the guts to call out the role of penguins in the military industrial complex.

Will and Sam follow the tradition of the Ancient Greeks and engage in some philosophy--is man's virtue an ephemeral and forever-shifting thing, as ceaseless as the Aegean, or is it simply that whoever has less body hair wins? Welcome to Zach Snyder's Frank Miller's 300.

This week, the boys take a look at Guy Ritchie's surprisingly compelling high fantasy mafia movie and then waste the entire time discussing horse stunts, the proper way to meet eels in bars and Jason Statham's burgeoning Chili's franchise.