In searching for answers to quell fears or explain life’s quirks, humans have oft come up with some pretty bizarre beliefs. Tomatoes are poison? Witches steal a particular male body part and keep them for pets? Baths are dangerous? Photographs steal your soul? Ya, pretty funny yet weird stuff in which we used to believe. Jon and Kurt use this episode to recount and wonder at some of the strangest of these.  

Jon and Kurt return to a theme from the early days of Smart Drivel as they give examples and discuss sayings that just make no sense. Some, like “on cloud 9” confuse one and not the other while others, such as “the exception proves the rule” require much thought. They agree on some, bring up some classics like “pick the low hanging fruit” and try not to have a “near miss.” Near miss? Um, we think you meant “near hit.”

We always worry about the large looming events that change history. Yet, often, history’s pages are changed not by some titanic event (pun intended), but by small, seemingly inconsequential occurrences. A wrong turn, a different kind of rivet, a misplaced comma, a cuppa tea, a laziness in rushing out on vacation, etc. all led to seismic changes in history. Sadly more for the tragic than the benevolent, but these small things punched way above their historical weight. Jon and Kurt point out a few to get your dinner conversations started.

Jon and Kurt wonder at the pervasive use of animal idioms in everyday conversation. Why do we call someone a Black Sheep? Or accuse someone of crying Crocodile Tears? What is a Paper Tiger and who famously made it into an insult to his enemies? Get the Albatross From Around Your Neck or the Monkey Off Your Back and have a listen. This episode is The Cat’s Pajamas.

No, dear listener, this episode is not about everything that can go wrong in a podcast episode will go wrong. It is, however, a quick dive into Named Laws of nature or corporate life or technology or etc. Jon and Kurt share and discuss “laws” that are named after people. Where did they come from? Why were they so named? What did they seek to memorialize as a law? Remember Cheop’s Law (he who built the Great Pyramid): “Nothing ever gets built on time or under budget.” Not even a podcast.

There is an actual “Museum of Failures” which memorializes products that were massive failures. Classics like “neon green Heinz Ketchup” and “Spray on Condoms” (yes, you read that correctly) are on exhibit as are countless others that, while born out of innovation, just never made it. Jon and Kurt highlight a few of the juiciest failures and have fun speculating as to why they never caught on.

Kurt and Jon explore the disorienting land defined by the Urban Dictionary and learn more than they bargained for. As it turns out, Kurt is equally at home with hors d'oeuvres as well as store d'oeuvres. One is consumed in a friend's living room. The other at Costco. If you don't know what it means to be a body booker, say, "Damn, Gina," or engage in the fine art of chipmunking, then this episode is for you. All we know is that Kurt and Jon are cheugies, and you probably are too. Bye, Felicia.

Did you know that the words written on Twitter every single day would fill a book of ten million pages? Did you know that “buttload” is an actual measurement? Jon and Kurt have fun in this episode doling out seemingly ridiculous statements that are actually true. They sound faker than Kurt’s french accent, but are 100% correct. 

It started innocently enough when Kurt drove by a parking lot full of fire trucks, lights flashing, but no fire. And it got them thinking, what % of a firefighters day is actually spent fighting fires? (Answer given in the episode.) From there, Jon and Kurt decided it would make a fun game show to ask each other to guess what the % answer was to interesting questions….like what % of people pee in the shower? What % of people say they always read the Terms & Conditions (90%), what % of people send their pets Valentine’s Day gifts? Well, you get the idea. What % of listeners will enjoy this episode (100%)?

The boys decide to give in to their genetic hard-coding and spend an episode exploring what makes the male human do so many idiotic things. Throughout the ages, it seems that those with the Y chromosome have simply not evolved. The “why women outlive men” trend on social media has it right. Tragically funny and infinitely ludicrous, Jon and Kurt discuss this phenomenon that seems to have sidestepped around half of the population.