Alright, folks, let’s continue today’s tour of the Video Game Historical Excavation Site. Oh, what’s this? One of our excavators appears to have found something in the soft earth! Why, it’s a copy of a platformer from the long bygone era of 2002! I’m afraid this discovery means that we must shut down the site to visitors for the day, but don’t you worry! You’ll be given a complimentary recording of us discussing Smashterpiece #38: Pac-Man World 2. It even includes a guest appearance by long time friend of the show Luke (aka Cyberlink420), who brings an unconscionable amount of Pac-Man lore that is sure to haunt your dreams and cause you pain, but in a good way we assume. How surprised were we about this game’s general quality? Why is Pac-Man’s dog Chomper a terrifying monstrosity? How do we feel about the game’s bumpin’ soundtrack? All that and more in today’s episode!

Join us next time as we dive into the heart for Smashterpiece #39: Kingdom Hearts

Yet another milestone on our timeline has been reached! Today we talk about the game that refuses to die, no matter what those surrounding it do or say. A competitive titan, a wavedashing masterpiece, a space fox’s dream. That’s right, everybody, today we discuss the legendary Super Smash Bros Melee, the early GameCube title that would take the foundation of its predecessor and become a template for all the games to come after. Why do Melanie and Joe consider this game one they love to watch but not necessarily play? What’s it like to know that this is the last time a Super Smash Bros game would have a single lead composer/arranger? And why did Hungrybox come to my house and uninstall all my items before forcing me to play as Jigglypuff?

Join us next time as we journey into a world of… ghosts and dots? Probably? In Smashterpiece #38: Pac-Man World 2

CAPTAIN’S LOG: We have crash landed on an alien planet, the various parts of our craft have been scattered amongst the foliage. For awhile we were able to scrounge up the necessary resources we needed to survive but at around the two week mark our inspiring story with themes of determination and grit quickly transformed into a tragedy. Joe was the first to go, a bird sprouting from the ground as if it were a root vegetable being plucked from the earth and wrapping its mighty beak around Joe’s soft frame. Melanie went soon afterwards, chased down and devoured without hesitation by one of those damned Bulborbs. David was able to last a few more days but alas, he too met his end when a stupid frog broke every bone in his body with a body slam. All this death really makes you wonder: if they’re all gone then who the hell is hosting this episode of the show? You know, the one covering Smashterpiece #37: Pikmin? It’s the episode guest starring David (DVD Smith) where they talk about Joe’s first experience with the game, the pseudo RTS style gameplay, the many many Pikmin corpses left in their wake, and of course how pleasant the soundtrack is to listen to. This may be a mystery that’ll never be solved, but hey at least we have an episode that came out of it!

Join us next time for a special episode on the second game in Nintendo’s beloved crossover fighter: Super Smash Bros. Melee

Hello and welcome to our latest seminar on the housing market in the Mushroom Kingdom, I know you’re all dying to get started so I’ll make this quick. Our usual speakers are here but we have also prepared a guest speaker presentation on the subject of what to do if you win a mansion in a contest you don’t remember winning, only to find that the mansion is full of ghosts and the boss of all those ghosts has trapped your brother in a painting, forcing you to equip a weird vacuum to destroy those that have come from the realm beyond who stand in your way. You may be thinking that this is a very specific subject on which to hold a presentation, but apparently it happens frequently enough that it’s warranted. Our guest, Mr. Xander Morningstar, joins us to tell the cautionary tale of Smashterpiece #36: Luigi’s Mansion. How do we feel this game stacks up against its more recent sequels? Why is Joe over the moon about the sound design? And why are the boos so mean? All that and more in today’s semina- er, episode!

Join us next time as we crash land on a distant planet in Smashterpiece #37: Pikmin

Welcome to the first and likely final meeting of this HOA, we’re glad you’ve taken the time out of your busy schedule to be with us today. We don’t want to keep you here for too long so let’s just go ahead and jump into it, shall we? Today’s agenda is a collection of neighborhood complaints from the town of Smash that have been combined to form what we’re calling Smashterpiece #35: Animal Crossing. All parties involved have decided to remain anonymous out of fear for their safety. Complaint #1: One resident of Smash, hereby known only as “K”, grifted the town salesman out of roughly 50% more paper than she would ever need, he didn’t appreciate it. Complaint #2: Another resident, now known as “B”, was seen walking along the beach in the dark with what a neighbor described as “a look of murderous intent” and went fishing for several consecutive hours. Complaint #3: Multiple instances of people taking things out of the lost and found that is not their’s. We’re going to jump to our panel of experts now so they can talk about their month in the town of Smash, so I guess please enjoy that.

Join us next time as we totally win a completely free and non-haunted mansion in Smashterpiece #36: Luigi’s Mansion

Hello and welcome, we’re delighted that you have chosen to join us on the Smashterpieces Pokémon Photo Safari Extravaganza. Please remember to keep your hands and feet inside the vehicle at all times, Smashterpieces will not be held responsible for any loss of limb or other bodily harm you may sustain during your time spent with us. Each of you has been provided with three tools, all of them of vital importance to your journey. First of all there’s the illumina orbs, it can make the Pokémon glow and sometimes they jump higher, or at least that’s what the script says I have to say. Then you have your apples, those are mostly gonna come in handy when we enter the volcano portion of our tour. There may or may not be a Tyrantrum that appears, he will want you dead. What you’re gonna do in that case is throw the apple at him and he maybe won’t charge at you. If I’m being honest you got about a 50/50 shot on that one, I’m sure you’ll be fine. You also have a music player, it’s just there for tax reasons, it doesn’t do anything. Anyways if you’ve signed your liability waivers and have your cameras ready, we hope you enjoy your safari. In the meantime please enjoy this bonus episode on New Pokémon Snap, a game we brought into existence with our weird reality bending curse. Good luck!

We’ll return with Animal Crossing soon!

All rise for the honorable Judge Toadsworth. Today we find ourselves at the trial of one of history’s greatest monsters. This sick individual took advantage of the tired and weary at the worst possible moment, sick and desperate they clung to his lab coat begging for a cure he knew he did not have, and yet… he persisted. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, this individual calls himself Dr. Mario, but he is no doctor! As evidence of this malicious malpractice, we present Smashterpiece #34: Dr. Mario 64! How does the jury feel about this falling block puzzle game? What does this game do impressively, and what does it do very unimpressively? Does the soundtrack sure exist? All that and more in today’s trial! … I mean episode!

Join us next time as we spend a month of cohabitation in an animal filled town in Smashterpiece #35: Animal Crossing

The crowd cheers, the combatants face each other. Here come the pokéballs, the battle is about to begin in earnest! Oh, it’s Alakazam! Oh, it’s Wooper! This does not seem like a fair fight, but let’s see how it plays out. Well, that Alakazam was knocked out before I even had a chance to blink, what an amazing battle this has been. While we wait for the next Pokémon to emerge, let’s take a second to tell the folks at home that this is the episode representing Fighter #19: Pichu, it’s the 2000 Nintendo 64 game Pokémon Stadium 2. What makes this game such an interesting piece of video game and Pokémon history? Why does it feel like the RNG seems unfairly against you in certain situations? What do we think of the minigames? And why does it feel like the soundtrack is overall such a dud? All this and more in today’s episode!

Join us next time when we get our medical licenses revoked in Smashterpiece #34: Dr. Mario 64

Let us look back, far into the past (roughly around 2001, so basically ancient). In the wondrous land of “Bun-Jee” a small single celled organism called “combat” enjoyed a carefree existence. But one day combat found itself in the shadow of a larger being called a MICROSOFT. At first it was afraid, but eventually the two formed a symbiotic relationship, and thus combat… evolved. Yes, I am aware the previous sentences sound like the rantings of a madman but to be honest you should know what you signed up for by now. Today’s episode is about the game representing fighter #458, Master Chief, it’s the one and only Halo: Combat Evolved. How did it feel playing this game in co-op, and how did this affect Joe’s first time playing in general? What is the fascinating development history behind this game? How is that music so damn good? All that and more in today’s episode!

Join us next time as we probably don't travel into the mushroom forest.

Hello, we’re back once agaI’M GONNA WIN! … We are here to talk abouYOU’VE HAD IT! … Can I please just get a full sentence out beCAN’T WIN ‘EM ALL! … This is seriously gratiYOU’RE WASTING MY TIME! I beg of you, just let me… oh, they’re done. Cool. Today’s discussion is about Smashterpiece #32: Pokémon Puzzle League, a reskin of Tetris Attack which in itself was a reskin of Panel de Pon. Why did we initially think this game would be a mistake, and how deep did we go into the game itself? Why does Joe describe the game’s sound design as “a nightmare”? Why is the soundtrack a weird one to discuss? And is Ash truly going to win? All that and more in today’s episode!

Join us next time as we battle our way up Gym Leader Castle in Smashterpiece #33: Pokémon Stadium 2