So, Is He Captain America?

We are so excited to watch Wolverine's origin story! Wait..... this isn't an origin story?? Crud..... fine, let's do this (The) Wolverine. What state did they find Logan in? How is Logan communicating with people when he doesn't speak Japanese? Did Logan and Mariko sleep together? How did this move the story ahead? And are we just ignoring that Logan is older than Mariko's grandpa? Is the redhead a mutant? What is attached to Logan's heart? A robot? An alien? A parasite? Clearly, Logan has not dealt with the death of Jean Grey. Shocker - some of these characters are not fully developed.

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Want a feel-good movie that enjoys its female cast? Yeah, keep flipping past this one. It's time for Watchmen everyone.

Over/under on how much the VFX artists enjoyed making a LOT of blue penises?

Why is this movie so long? And how was it the shortest version? Do all retired superheroes get together and catch up? How did Rorschach's mask work? Does it reflect his emotions? Kudos to Dr. Manhattan's multi-tasking skills. Mars?!? Really?!? No. Unnecessary. We can all agree that most of their masks are not real masks right? We can still see their faces!! How was there no "kill" button to save Jon Osterman from becoming Dr. Manhattan? The whole experiment was based on electricity - there HAD to be a way to save him. What we could have done in those 2 hours and 43 minutes we wasted.

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Mutant Love triangles.... deception.... the smoking hot Rebecca Romijn..... it must be time for X2: X-Men United! Logan is left in charge of the school - what can possibly go wrong? What is the Ice guy's name? Is it IceMan? Is it that simple?

Who is this female wolverine? What animal is she supposed to be? Stryker - the worst dad ever in the history of terrible dads. Wait - weren't there TWO people on that plane that can manipulate water? How did Jean Grey still die? Wolverine needs a visit from the Queer Eye team. We can all agree Mystique is the hero of this movie right? Raise a glass to Rebecca Romijn's body.

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Fire up your brain machines and your chest lasers friends, It's time for X-Men: Apocalypse. Is this the 3rd X-Men movie? Why are so many of the X-Men blue? Where exactly is Storm from? Did she always start out as a bad guy? Who is the guy that can move super fast? Why did he not tell Magneto he was his son? Can Olivia Munn please get some character traits? And in all seriousness - what is the main villain's name? We really need name tags. Until next time, we'll meet you all at the Mutant Registrar's office.

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You don't need a cape for this one, let's fly into WW84! Kudos to the hair, makeup, and set dressing departments on this movie. Weirdest live TV station studio ever! Who is Wonder Woman's Dad? Zeus? A Titan? Is WW mortal? Or a hybrid? Pedro Pascal - former successful businessman, or permanent con artist? What is Dr Barbara's comic book character name? Is the airplane always invisible, or does WW make it invisible whenever she gets in? Missing a child in the middle of DC? Just scream his name and he'll find you. Bring on all of the Steve 80s clothing montages, please!

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Is everyone ready for Dark Knight? Head on back to episode 32 because much like most of our comic book knowledge, we were wrong when guessing our next movie.

Sharpen your fangs, find your seat with the Vampires of the Round table - let's do this Wesley Snipes!

What exactly is a La Magre - a blood god? And why are we trying to bring it back? Was this Frost's plan?

The hospital where Doctor Karen Hemoglobin works has some heavily armed security guards, be on the lookout everyone.

If anyone can explain why Blade's mom is trying to bone him, we will be eternally grateful. Actually, on second thought, nevermind. We are ok without that knowledge.

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Welcome back everyone, to another destroyed city. This time, Seattle is ruined in the movie Chronicle.

Meet Andrew, Michael B. Jordan, and Andrew's cousin - the worst influencers ever. Or, the story of How to become a Sociopath 101.

One failed blowjob and it all goes to hell.

What exactly gave them their superpowers? Was it left by aliens? Was it always buried in the ground?

What was Michael B. Jordan's character name?

If it wasn't for MBJ, this movie would get a much lower rating from us. He just gets sexier and sexier with age.

Let's all go to Tibet - or some weird green screen that's probably located in Canada.

It is finally time.... Sam Heughan on the big screen! And by that I mean we finally saw Bloodshot from the safety of our homes.

All violence, no consequences....

What's more believable? An American soldier who died in combat is sold for science purposes, or that the same soldier is then remade with tiny robots? Why is Jamie Fraser so mad? And mean? And where is his accent? Isn't this an international movie? Why are Jamie and the blind guy loyal to Guy Pearce? Are they not aware they are just murdering people at this point? Damn Gina! How fast do you move in 5 years? Bloodshot - the best VFX reel in the industry.

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Shaq, Sparkey, and Judd Nelson walk into a bar..... Unfortunately, all they are serving are faulty military weapons and wheelchairs with machine guns. Welcome to the movie Steel.

How do we know it's 1997? Shaq has a babyface, Ray J doesn't have a sex tape, and E-Commerce is still a thing of the future.

How exactly are Big Willie & Judd Nelson friends? And how is a shady arcade business still in operation?

How does NO ONE realize who Steel is?

Eat the hot dog, don't be the hot dog everyone.

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Welcome to another socially distanced episode. So glad we still like our apartments.

Are you ready for some "bad devil stuff" - here comes Spawn.

Worst title sequence ever.

Why does the Devil look like a muppet?

Will Spawn ever see his wife again? That lady who had no issues marrying his best friend the second he was gone....

WTF is with this clown?

Why do we do this to ourselves? This was not worth the collective $5 we spent on this movie.

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