Similar to triggers, sometimes things from the past make their way into the present, whether we want them to or not. Today, Chris shares two stories about how people’s pasts crept up into their new relationships with him, and how it impacted him in the process. We all have pasts, but it’s important to know what stays there and is unique to the person in the past and what should come along for the ride into the future.

A trigger is something that sets off a memory tape or flashback transporting the person back to the event of her/his original trauma. In dating, we may not be talking about trauma like PTSD, but there can still be experiences or words that bring back bad memories. And the thing that causes those memories is a trigger. Chris and Erika share some of their own triggers — some more trivial and some more serious — with listeners.  

This week, Erika and Chris tackle three questions from both friends and clients. Topics include ghosting, dating after divorce, and the right time to start dating again.

Hand-holding, kissing, other forms of intimacy… there’s a time and a place for all of them. But, when is that time and place? The first date? The third? And which would you prefer to do first — hold hands or smooch? In today’s episode, Erika shares a story about a first date of her own and then introduces a surprise guest. Then, she and Chris discuss how one person’s hierarchy of intimacy may differ from another person’s.

It’s the age-old question: Can men and women be friends? Erika and Chris tackle this question from several angles, sharing stories of both being the “friend” and the person in a relationship with someone who has an opposite-sex friend. None of this is easy, and there are no right and wrong answers, but just the discussion itself should shed some light on what is possible.

Most of us try to make a great first impression, especially when it comes to dating. Sometimes, though, trying to come off as your best self backfires and you end up being someone you don’t want to be. Have you ever accidentally had too much to drink to impress a date? Or, maybe you’ve done something way outside your comfort zone? In this week’s episode, guest Beth shares a personal story, and then Chris and Erika discuss what happens when you try a bit too hard to impress your date.

Perhaps the most important piece of any relationship, whether romantic or not, is how two people communicate. Can you make yourselves vulnerable? Are you comfortable with conflict, knowing that your partner will truly listen? And when you’re in a relationship, do you know how best to communicate your love for each other? In this episode, Erika and Chris break down what these “Love Languages” are and how they apply to your relationships.

Have you ever had someone judge you for something that’s completely not his or her business? Or, maybe someone doesn’t understand your life choices, so rather than asking about them, the default is to put you down or make assumptions? Being different is great. Being judged for being different — not so much. In today’s episode, Erika and Chris each share some stories about how outside judgment has affected their own lives and their relationships.

There’s a rare weather storm, you ate some bad cheese, your child needs to be picked up early… whatever the case is, sometimes a date needs to be cut short, or not happen at all. In the first episode of Season 4, Erika shares a personal story, and then she and Chris discuss the reasons why a date might get interrupted and what to do about it.

Once you enter a relationship, the work is not over. In fact, that’s often just the beginning. This week, Erika and Chris answer clients’ questions on intimacy, moving in, and the age-old question of whether men and women can be friends.