Soft Power Project

Melissa looked high-functioning for over a decade as an ICU nurse. Underneath, she was exhausted, anxious, and abandoning herself to keep everyone else comfortable.

Sherry and Melissa talk about what happens when the person everyone relies on finally stops performing. The people-pleasing you don't even notice, because it's your whole identity. The slow, scary work of setting a boundary when you've been rewarded your whole life for not having any. Why “no is a full sentence” still feels impossible, and the one line Melissa leans on instead: I need 24 hours to think about this.

They get into the body, too. How Melissa's whole body goes flush and hot before she's said the word no. What changed when she left the city for twenty-five acres, a creek, and horses she loved as a kid. And why safety, the real kind, is something you feel in your shoulders.

Near the end, Sherry asks what soft power means to her. Melissa brings it back to authenticity: knowing yourself well enough to move through life fully as you are. That, to her, is soft power.

This one is for anyone who looks fine on the outside and feels the opposite. This one moves slow, on purpose.

TIMESTAMPS:
0:00 - Intro
1:24 - From ICU burnout to coaching
3:33 - Realizing you're a people pleaser
6:45 - The scary work of boundaries
11:33 - Kindness vs. self-abandonment
16:13 - Self-trust and the 24-hour rule
22:46 - When your body says no
29:41 - Safety, nature, and survival mode
39:43 - What soft power means

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

Life Health Women Coaching: https://www.lifehealthwomen.com/
Melissa on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/empowerherjourney___/

ABOUT MELISSA:
Melissa (MSN, RN) is the founder of Life Health Women Coaching. After twelve-plus years as a registered nurse, mostly in ICU, her own burnout and anxiety led her into a healing journey centered on self-trust and emotional safety. She now coaches women through the patterns she lived herself: people-pleasing, anxiety, and abandoning yourself to keep the peace.

https://www.instagram.com/empowerherjourney___/ | https://www.lifehealthwomen.com/

#SoftPowerProject #PeoplePleasing #Boundaries #SelfTrust #WomenPodcast

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I didn't force the Soft Power Summit into existence. I let it happen. And for the first time in my life, I built something just for me, not for the validation.

Not long after I started the Soft Power Project, I pictured this event while lying in bed at the lowest point I'd ever been: pushed out, publicly demoted, done performing for a world that only wanted to hear about achievements. A week ago it was real, a room in New York full of women I'd only known through a screen, finally connecting heart to heart.

The hardest part was trusting it. My old self kept pulling me back, asking how I could possibly not control every detail. I had to learn to let it flow anyway.

I'm still learning what it means to do something for myself. But I can tell you it felt like magic, and I think it was.

If you've ever held a vision you couldn't quite explain, this is your invitation to do one thing for you. Not for the numbers. Not for the likes. Just for you.

0:00 - The Magic of Manifestation
3:00 - The Birth of the Soft Power Project
6:05 - Planning the Soft Power Summit
8:45 - Overcoming Challenges and Embracing Flow
11:54 - Celebrating Age and Connection
14:47 - Reflections and Future Aspirations

Mentioned in this episode:
Butter Be Kind: https://butterbekind.com/

#SoftPowerProject #SoftPower #Manifestation #SelfDiscovery #WomenEmpowerment

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Joanna Stokinger spent over twenty years as a homicide victim advocate, guiding families through unimaginable loss. Then in 2021, she got the call that made her one of them. Her six-week-old grandson, Anthony, died from abusive head trauma, and Joanna found herself on the other side of the work she'd built her career on. The grieving grandmother who still had to be the advocate in the room.
Sherry and Joanna talk about what happens when the work you trained for your whole life becomes your own life. Why grief after homicide doesn't move in a straight line. What a trauma-informed advocate does, and the damage done when there isn't one. And the grandson Joanna still hasn't fully grieved, because she came back to work to train other advocates and change how survivors are met on the worst day of their lives.
This conversation goes somewhere unexpected.

TIMESTAMPS:
0:00 - Intro
1:52 - Inside the Maine Resiliency Center
6:15 - The call that changed everything
15:42 - Why homicide grief isn't linear
25:41 - What to say to someone in grief
35:50 - The grief she couldn't have
39:15 - Learning to put herself first
46:26 - What resilience actually looks like
55:51 - Soft power, grace, and growth

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
Maine Resiliency Center: https://www.maineresiliencycenter.org/
Parents of Murdered Children: https://www.pomc.org/
"Remarkably Bright Creatures" by Shelby Van Pelt

ABOUT JOANNA STOKINGER:

Joanna Stokinger spent more than two decades in victim advocacy and criminal justice, working homicide cases at the Maine Attorney General's office. In 2021, the loss of her grandson made her a surviving family member of the kind she'd spent her career supporting. She is now Lead Advocate and Navigator at the Maine Resiliency Center and co-leads the Maine chapter of Parents of Murdered Children.

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Eight years ago, I started praying every night to grow. I had no idea what I was asking for, or that the universe was listening the whole time. It just sent the lessons first.

I recorded this while packing for New York and the first Soft Power Summit. Twenty years ago I left this city before I was ready, and now I'm going back to hold my first event here. I'm not a happy-go-lucky person, I never have been. Being positive takes real work for me, and I spent half my life holding peace for everyone else. Then came the divorce, the custody battle I'm still in, the career pivots, COVID. I asked to grow, and growth arrived carrying every lesson I needed.

This is the thread running through everything on the Soft Power Project. Soft power isn't forcing yourself to be positive. It's trusting that the dream you can't see yet is still on its way.

If you're in a season where you can't see the light, this one is for you. You don't have to manifest the way the gurus say. Five minutes, one walk, one coffee. That counts.

What's the small dream you're holding right now?

The first Soft Power Summit is in New York on June 20. Only a few spots left!

Friends of the show can join with FRIENDS20: https://luma.com/q8i8ubvg?coupon=FRIENDS20

0:00 - Introduction and Personal Reflection
2:53 - Journey of Self-Discovery
5:53 - The Impact of Life Changes
8:46 - The Birth of the Soft Power Project
11:19 - Encouragement for Tough Times

#SoftPowerProject #SoftPower #SoftPowerSummit #WomenEmpowerment #PersonalGrowth

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Maïlys Jox lost one of her closest friends, very suddenly. What came after was a slow journey from grief to trusting life again, and becoming a mother.
Sherry and Maïlys talk about what happens when grief and joy arrive at the same time. They get into survival mode and the people who help you out of it, the album she wrote and recorded while she was pregnant, and the song that opens on her daughter's real heartbeat. They talk about the discovery that surprised her most: that joy and grief can live in the same heart, at the very same time.
There is also the 20 to 30 minutes of silence she protects every morning, where her best ideas tend to arrive without a single sound, the family gatherings that turn into a mini orchestra, and the next album she is about to record, stripped back to just piano and voice as she returns to who she is.
This is a Soft Power Project conversation about holding grief and joy at the same time. It goes somewhere unexpected.

TIMESTAMPS:
0:00 - Grief and joy at the same time
1:32 - Singapore roots and finding home
3:00 - A sudden loss, then motherhood
5:06 - Moving through survival mode
10:44 - Music as a family language
14:44 - Fear, joy, and choosing life
17:48 - A daily practice of silence
20:42 - Writing the album while pregnant
25:54 - Choosing joy, returning to herself
MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
Maïlys Jox on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/artist/4F94HKOO2psDIoP2Dx9Z3G
Maïlys Jox on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mailysjox/
ABOUT MAÏLYS JOX:
Maïlys Jox is a French singer-songwriter, born in Singapore and now based in France. She grew up in a musician family, learned music young, and writes in both French and English. Her songs range from intimate piano-and-voice ballads to more upbeat tracks, drawn from her own life.
https://www.instagram.com/mailysjox/ | https://open.spotify.com/artist/4F94HKOO2psDIoP2Dx9Z3G
#SoftPowerProject #Grief #Motherhood #Healing #ChoosingJoy
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Around 2013, two books reshaped how a generation of women thought about ambition: Girlboss by Sophia Amoruso and Lean In by Sheryl Sandberg. I never read Girlboss, but I bought Lean In right after I had my daughter, and just holding it made me feel like an independent woman.
I believed that message. So when I got divorced at 35, I girl bossed it hard. I had to prove to myself, to the world, to the court, that I could do it all. From the outside it looked empowering. On the inside, I had lost connection to myself completely. I was performing, and I still didn't know who I was.
A lot of women who have been through something land there. We hustle, we achieve, and eventually we sit down and say: I'm done. It's exhausting.
This is what I keep coming back to on the Soft Power Project. We're not in the era of girl bossing anymore. We're in the era of embodiment, of soft power, of coming home to who we already are.
If you have ever proven yourself right out of your own body, this is for you.
What are you ready to do more softly?
MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
Girlboss by Sophia Amoruso: https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/316162/girlboss-by-sophia-amoruso/
Lean In by Sheryl Sandberg: https://leanin.org/book
0:00 - The Rise of the Girl Boss Movement
4:43 - The Shift to Soft Power and Embodiment
6:15 - Welcome to the Movement
#SoftPowerProject #SoftPower #Embodiment #WomenEmpowerment
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Margo Aaron kept waiting for her life to level out. The divorce, the custody fight, the single motherhood. She kept thinking she would feel like herself again once things calmed down. They didn't.
Sherry and Margo talk about what happens when the hard thing doesn't end. When co-parenting isn't co-parenting but managing a constant antagonist. When the court system gives him the benefit of the doubt and hands you the suspicion. When loving your kid and finding motherhood brutally hard turn out to be two separate truths.
Margo is a writer who lost her words for a while. This is the story of how she got them back. Not by pushing through, but by stealing five minutes of joy at a time. A frivolous book. A kitchen dance party. One night out a week, even when it broke her heart. None of it was a grand overhaul. It was small, and it was hers.
This is a Soft Power Project conversation, and it goes somewhere unexpected.

About Margo Aaron
Margo Aaron is a writer, speaker, and marketing expert who began as a psychological researcher before building her newsletter and community, That Seems Important. She writes about creativity, behavior, and what it takes to keep showing up when life doesn't go to plan.
Instagram: instagram.com/margoaaron   |   LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/margoaaron   |   thatseemsimportant.com

About Sherry Fang
Sherry Fang is the host of the Soft Power Project.
LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/sherryfang83   |   Instagram: instagram.com/soft_power_project   |   YouTube: youtube.com/@SoftPowerProject

Timestamps
0:00 - Welcome + the new normal
2:37 - Survival mode vs. low-grade waiting
7:48 - Code-switching and resentment
11:58 - Motherhood is a job, not bliss
21:13 - High conflict, not miscommunication
28:03 - DEEP technique and gray rocking
33:00 - Family court and misogyny
48:05 - Reclaiming joy and creativity
1:01:07 - Permission to enjoy + soft power

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For most of my life, I thought confidence was a performance. The right body language, the right phrasing, looking sure of myself on stage even when I was terrified.
I learned that version growing up between two worlds. In Taiwan, humility was the virtue: speak up only when you have something worth saying. Then I studied in North America and got the opposite lesson: just speak, it barely matters what you say. I spent years getting good at performing confidence. I never had much fun doing it.
Now I teach communication back in Taiwan, and I keep meeting people with PhDs and real experience who still feel like it isn’t good enough.
So I’ve been rethinking the whole thing. Maybe real confidence isn’t the loudest voice in the room. Maybe it’s the soft power of trusting yourself enough to speak the truth without softening it, and to say “I don’t know” without flinching. It’s the question I keep coming back to on the Soft Power Project, and I’m still figuring out what it looks like in 2026.
If you’ve ever performed a certainty you didn’t feel, this one is for you.
What does confidence mean to you?
0:00 - The Journey of Understanding Confidence
4:03 - Cultural Perspectives on Confidence
7:54 - Redefining Confidence in the Modern Age
#SoftPowerProject #Confidence #SelfTrust #PersonalGrowth #SoftPower

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In New York City on June 20, I'm hosting my first in-person event for The Soft Power Project. A three and a half hour Soft Power Summit, and the theme is coming home to yourself.
I've been quietly manifesting this for a year. When I started this show, I was craving honest women's conversation. The real talk that happens before the recording starts, when we skip the small talk and say where we actually are. After eighty something episodes and around sixty women on the show, I wanted to bring that off the mic and into a room.
The day moves through an arc: release with face yoga from Teja of Butter Be Kind, listen with nutrition from Tammy of Everglo Wellness, embody with boxing taught by Bella, a stunt woman who's going to close us out.
I'm not building this alone. The women in this community made it possible.
This is your invitation. Early bird seats are limited.
What part of yourself are you ready to come home to?
REGISTER:
https://luma.com/q8i8ubvg?coupon=FRIENDS20
TIMESTAMPS:
0:00 - Announcing my first in-person event
0:50 - Coming home to yourself
1:30 - Release: face yoga with Teja
2:30 - Listen: nourish with Tammy
3:30 - Embody: boxing with Bella
4:30 - The tote bag and the goodies
6:00 - Why I wanted to bring this offline
8:30 - The women who made it happen
#SoftPowerProject #SoftPower #SoftPowerSummit #ComingHomeToYourself #WomensWellness
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Alica Glavanova was 18, in her last year of high school, when the panic attacks started. The doctors ran their tests, handed her pills, and explained nothing. She did her own research, realized it was anxiety medication, and decided she wasn't going to take it. Right after school she started traveling. India, Nepal, Thailand, Indonesia. Somewhere in those years she found a different way to understand what her body was doing, and it became the work she does now.
Sherry and Alica talk about what happens when you stop overriding your body and start listening to what it's trying to tell you. Alica decodes a rash that kept showing up on Sherry's knuckles and ears after stressful morning meetings, and what it meant that it landed exactly there. They talk about why symptoms so often surface in the healing phase, once the stress is already over, and about the one thing none of us can control alongside the one thing we always can. This is a Soft Power Project conversation about emotional healing, and it goes somewhere unexpected.
TIMESTAMPS:
0:00 - The body starts speaking
1:18 - Panic attacks at 18
7:04 - Western medicine vs TCM
8:29 - Growing up without roots
11:32 - The seminar that changed everything
15:13 - You have to do the work
20:33 - Decoding Sherry's mystery rash
31:35 - Finding the source of a symptom
39:02 - A chaotic world and soft power
MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
Free German New Medicine masterclass (on Alica's Instagram): https://www.instagram.com/shenmentherapies/
Carl Jung's dream analysis: water as a symbol of emotion
ABOUT ALICA GLAVANOVA:
Alica Glavanova is a certified complementary therapist based in Switzerland with more than a decade of clinical experience. After severe panic attacks at 18, she trained in traditional Chinese medicine, German New Medicine, hypnotherapy, and nervous system work. She now helps clients trace physical symptoms back to their emotional root, in person and online.
https://www.instagram.com/shenmentherapies/ | https://www.shenmentherapies.com/
#SoftPowerProject #SoftPower #Healing #MentalHealth #WellnessJourney
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