Solid Cat

Solid Cat is back, and right off the bat, let's talk about gay marriage. If you a confused Christian, just know this: it's ok for gays to marry, and religion is not dead, though some are acting like it is. Just listen to us to get some clarity. Let's also talk about the Confederate States of America, where we ask, "Why fly the flag of a losing country that only lasted four years?" From social commentary, we switch to bat guano, women on money, and we feature the first ever Solid Cat Community Calendar. At parties, D-mo and Val are awesomely catty. One guy has saved the lives of two million babies, and rightfully gets this week's Paws Up. And lastly, we learn that D-mo's brain is like the Library of Congress, the world's largest library... after someone has taken a wrecking ball to it. That's the life-force behind Solid Cat!

You wanted Solid Cat, so we're giving you one on the commute home. The word you're looking for is "certified," not "circumcised." It's not illegal to sell golden tickets to heaven, unless you say they're solid gold and they're just painted pieces of wood, that Jesus gave you behind a KFC; and don't forget your baby alligator. FIFA is rife with corruption and their app is lacking in Women's World Cup coverage. As we're driving, see if you can hear where the road improves. D-mo is back in Assassin's Creed mode. The Solid Cat couch is awesome and therapeutic. Since we got home faster than planned, we're now recording from the driveway. We dropped a Kentucky Fried Movie reference (you didn't misread that). Godzilla is now a citizen of Japan. And the Danger Diva hijacks the credits and wails like a banshee. Why not... it's Solid Cat.

This week's Solid Cat is high on culture as D-mo and Val explored the exhibit of the work of J.M.W. Turner (allegedly Britain's most famous painter) that just concluded at the Getty Center. In the art talk, we critique and praise Turner's work, while also learning that Val digs Degas, and D-mo is all about Rubens. You can't talk about art without talking about Ninja Turtles. We look at passion vs. talent, and wrap that bit up with the nightclub at the museum. Elsewhere in this episode, Discovery Channel proves they can troll like a boss, D-mo's chair is extra noisy tonight, and what the hell happened to Neville F'ing Longbottom. England seems to have a hard time keeping track of their dead kings. Ireland earns our Paws Up! Val hates food bloggers, but LOVES a shirtless Thor, and dropped a mysterious Welsh accent. And we end with the question as old as time... who doesn't love fucking donuts? Wait, that's not what I mean.

To start Solid Cat, Val has a giant platypus on her head. Which invariably leads to a discussion about hats at the Kentucky Derby. We have a couple of corrections to make for last week's show. D-mo is in the Another Damn Trivia Show tournament final. Val has an unnatural obsession with Mary, Queen of Scots, which invariably leads to D-mo spending a full 9 minutes talking about politics in the United Kingdom, the United States, and Canada, which invariably leads to Ten Things about VE Day. OtterBoxes are not otterproof. Buy what's left of the Las Vegas Riveria. How to eat cupcakes nowadays. Fun facts about boobs, with a Norma Stitz reference. Big Bird made us cry, a high school boy is promoting feminine hygiene, and D-mo & Val finally saw Iron Man 3... two years later. Sometimes we're timely, sometimes we're not. Standard Solid Cat.

It may the best episode of Solid Cat, and we're all over the map. First, D-mo is baffled by Hinduism. Religion takes us to outlet malls. It was Kentucky Derby day, and despite eugenics (or animal husbandry), horses haven't gotten any faster. The Mayweather vs. Pacquiao was a bit of a snoozer, but the Burger King was there (?). When there is rain in L.A., people panic. We love the Columbia Sportswear Company. We have a sudden Paul Bunyan debate, which leads into the surprising aerodynamics of microfiber cloths. We revisit the tale of the clumsy whore. Val gets up close and personal with a duck, and it wasn't her choice. There are exotic dancers and Chinese funerals. A hologram of Stephen Hawking leads to an ungodly amount of time discussing boy bands. For instance, Rollermania was a legit thing. Mr. Goodbar is featured in the Space Cowboy Kitchen. Clash of the Titans has a ridiculousness too far. Ten Things with Val looks at how our ancestors were mighty perverts. D-mo and Val continue to take credit for Francis' selection as Pope. And D-mo mildly embarrasses a friend, because he can... and it's a fun story (he's a bastard like that). You might want to schedule a larger than usual block of time to enjoy this week's Solid Cat!

There are some episodes of Solid Cat, where we are cultured and refined. Other times, we're quite crass. No surprises what kind of episode this is. We go from banned underwear to the world's widest tongues to hand jobs while singing karaoke to teabagging to dick pics to ass beads. But first, D-mo gets handed a stranger's baby. You should watch out for the Hand of the Almighty. Speaking of God, we salute the Padres, a priest on the Titanic, and talk about how Edmonton may be hell... albeit a frozen hell. And for kicks, soccer in the Thunderdome. 22 men enter, 11 leave. I'm not sure what to make of this week's episode, but as Val puts it, "it wasn't me, it was the foreskin." Wait, what? Oh, Solid Cat.

It's Spring Break season at Solid Cat. We explain western vs. eastern christianity, which leads to Jewish calendars, which leads to crossword puzzles, which leads to purposeful misspellings, which leads to Under Armour, which leads to Shoe Talk with D-mo & Val. Don't you just love stream of consciousness podcasting? Say hi to Rocket the Rusty Rocket. Killer tombstones need David Caruso. James Van Der Beek is a good-looking man. There is a super brief Michael Sheen retrospective, and we agree that Alan Rickman will always been Snape. Chocolate ganache in the Space Cowboy Kitchen. It's time for the Solid Cat General Apology. D-mo and Val talk about their dreams, and will God smite Val with a plague of baboons? Things that are not cocaine: sno-balls, Mexican Coke, curry, and white lady. Or are they? The credits are high as a kite of Solid Cat!

The Getty Villa, the Griffith Observatory, and El Capitan Theatre... man, Solid Cat is all over Los Angeles. First off, as a good rule of thumb, don't throw a punch at your producer. Depression lies. In 1998, D-mo made Lisa Loeb the Green Lantern; this was favorited by Lisa Loeb herself on Twitter in 2015. Val got kicked in the face; literally a foot to the face. We have fun historical facts about Magellan. Mr. T pities the tool; yes, the tool. Camels go missing in Missouri; they may or may not be gay; Cher may or may not be involved. The Most Interesting Man in the World can't get you out of a carpool violation ticket. What is the "Most Canadian Photo Ever?" We review the new live action Cinderella, and following that up with a review of Greenblatt's deli in the Space Cowboy Kitchen. We play Superfight again on Solid Cat Game Night, and we're sorry for any relationships we may have broken up due to our gameplay. Editors! Do you job! And we end with Val making fun of how D-mo runs. What's up with that? This is Solid Cat.

We may be fat, but ain't ugly here at Solid Cat. D-mo loves tenacious pinatas. Zoe is known more for silent terror (she's screaming on the inside). Are nail spas modern-day brothels? We visit the Getty Villa to start a grand tour of Los Angeles. Want to start a conversation, wear a Flash t-shirt. Famous people and people who portray them on film. Will Smith takes us to John Wayne who takes us to Hollywood whitewashing and yellowface, as John Wayne played Genghis Khan in a movie. Yes, that Genghis Khan. Of course, the worst yellowface was Mickey Rooney in Breakfast at Tiffany's. What is moleology? Heard of urine-repellant paint? We have the world's first penis transplant. In the Space Cowboy Kitchen, we review the ice cream of Milk, on Beverly. At The Counter, they sell a beer float. Yes, bear with ice cream. Let's celebrate the ninja. How awesome would a real-life Studio Ghibli-Land be? Val is like a songbird... or a whore siren (her words). And yes, from Albania to Zimbabwe, Solid Cat is 100 country strong. #BOOM

Rest in peace, Leonard Nimoy. Val always thought Spock was hot. But we do have a full show of Solid Cat today. Burritos are Mexican food, but breakfast burritos are not. Did Val nail her Oscar pick? Catwoman is bisexual now. Ever wonder what it sound like Val won't let D-mo finish a sentence? We have 5 minutes of it, and in the end, D-mo may not have made his point. Val says her ethnicity is "Freckled-American." Lots of news this week including a belly bounce, backhoes, snooker, stolen log cabins, a terror owl, and drive-by eggings. Solid Cat Game Night returns with Superfight. In the Space Cowboy Kitchen, we learn how to cut a cake, how to pour ketchup from a bottle, and how to eat a hamburger, according to science. From the Dojo, we have perhaps the greatest product review on Amazon. Someone is shipping snow and fun and profit. And then there is a radioactive Loch Ness Monster. Only on Solid Cat.