SOM Talks

SOM Talks: Series 1 Transitions - Ep#2 Anthony Mullally

Grand Final winner Anthony Mullally has revealed how he has overcome fear, anxiety and attachment to find a new purpose away from professional rugby league.

The 29-year-old former Leeds and Toronto forward has found his way to part-time rugby in France via months living out of a campervan on a cliff in Cornwall. He believes a series of lightbulb moments have produced a fresh philosophy and perspective on how we confront change.

Speaking exclusively on the new SOM Talks Transitions podcast series from mental health charity State of Mind Sport, the Ireland international reveals what prompted him to turn his back on top-level sport while at the peak of his powers, and how he has trained himself to loosen resistance and embrace change.

“If it starts to cause you pain and fear then you are probably too attached,” he says.

Crippling anxiety and misguided aspirations stifled his early rugby days. “Determination can turn into an anxiety and I definitely experienced that early in my career. When I got my chance I was just so nervous. We are all in our fight and flight response when we are playing but I was too far gone.

“I signed for Leeds because I wanted to be the big guy at the big club. I wanted to be in that Headingley scene, going out and seeing what girls think of me, and that was part of my drive which isn’t really ideal or a sustainable motivator.”

Mullally says some home truths from Rhinos coach Brian McDermott after a period of personal escape, helped align his mind and body to realise his career goals.

“I was in the Amazon, really hungover in the jungle and had real moments of clarity amongst this crushing anxiety.

“I decided to take accountability for my own actions and not blame someone else. Holding resentment is like you taking poison and hoping someone else gets sick.”

Leeds went on to win the the Grand Final that year with Mullally a key part of their success. But far from a platform to propel his playing career to new heights, the 2017 triumph instead triggered a surprising transitional shift in Mullally’s mindset, focus and career.

“I was so glad I’d done it.  But I don’t even know where that Grand Final ring is now. My mum has got it somewhere. I just felt lost, my sense of purpose that I once had, was now completed, so what next? I needed to align with something else.”

The transition was to travel. Playing for experiences rather than achievements. First to Toronto, reuniting with McDermott but suffering financially and mentally when the pandemic threw the project into turmoil, leaving players out of jobs. That was the prompt for the Cornwall camper van escape, allowing Mullally, a proud vegan, to reconnect with nature.

“I’m on a cliff in a field. You come out first thing and the wind batters you in the face. On the stormy nights the van is shaking. You break away from that constant shelter and become more in the flow of the natural way of living. It gave me time to process things, break down stigmas and reconnect with nature. “

A period surfing, part-time labouring, and building a business hosting men’s mental health retreats led to another transition as Mullally packed up to move to Carcassonne where he now plays part-time on a low wage. There are offers to return to the English game, which occupy his thoughts and test his resolve. But for now he is resisting.

“Money is just a tool of exchange. People used to use sheep for money.

Money provides security but all you need is a net and anything above that is just luxury.

“Being in a van and not getting paid made me realise that I don’t need that much to get by. When you are on a decent salary, the fear of losing it is terrifying. When it gets taken from you then you have to be resourceful and still be happy. “

Rugby league legend Lee Briers has revealed his shock, fear and anger after learning that his 25-year association with Warrington will end this year.

Speaking for the first time since being told in April that this will be his final season at the club, the Wolves great has admitted he would be prepared to walk away from the sport, was “in a daze” when he found out, but thankful for the life-changing experiences that Warrington have afforded him.

“You don’t know for sure until you hear the words,” he said. “It was upsetting, I have a lot of emotional ties to the club.

“25 years is over half my life and all I have ever known is Warrington. The first stage was shock, dealing with the emotions of anxiety and worrying what is going to happen in the future.”

Assistant coaches Briers and Andrew Henderson are making way at the end of the season to allow incoming head coach Daryl Powell to build his own team.

And in an exclusive first interview since learning of the news, Briers has opened up on the anxiety, fear and excitement he is feeling at the biggest period of change in his life so far.

“The meeting last two minutes. I was in a daze, got out and took a couple of deep breaths. Rang my agent and family and moved forward with that.

“I’m an honest person so of course there was anger. I was losing my job. These emotions all run through you when something you don’t want to hear happens. That is life and part of disappointment, and life is all about how you come back from disappointments.

“Daryl Powell doesn’t owe me anything. He has a trusted team and I have no problem with that. It is part of the game. Further down the line I may have to do the same. It’s the nature of the beast but it is hard because of the time I’ve been with the club.”

In an emotional and honest discussion with host George Riley on the new SOM Talks podcast from mental health charity State of Mind Sport, Briers reveals his gratitude to Warrington for supporting the best years of his life, and how he has drawn strength from knowing mistakes made in his playing days have made him a better person today.

“You learn from each setback. Not just in sport but in life. I lost my mum six months ago and you learn from that emotion as well. It is important that you speak to people and let them know how you are feeling, people you trust will listen and will talk back without emotion and that is invaluable at times like this.

“It is about making sure you have the right people around you at the right time and that support network is key. There will be times when I take a massive dip because that is my character. But I’m on a good track at the moment.“

The three-times Challenge Cup winning captain also speaks honestly about his relationship with alcohol, revealing he has made huge lifestyle changes in discovering the benefits of sobriety at 42, having struggled with it at the height of his career.

“I always put the team first on the field. I probably didn’t put the team first as much as I should off the field. I realise that now, and can speak about it.

Briers says he has already held talks about his next career step but admits it may not be in rugby league.

“I’m content if I have to walk away from the game,” he says.

“Do I want to walk away? No, because I have a hell of a lot to offer. But rugby league is a small portion of my life.

“I don’t want to be in the spotlight, I just want to live a normal life and help people. I want to help people be the best they can. “