Something Positive for Positive People

The response we receive to our first disclosure often shapes how we move forward with future disclosures. A positive experience shapes our expected response just as a negative one does. We talk about disclosing in kink in a sense of comparing sex in kink communities as it parallels with driving in NASCAR. I really loved this analogy! Most important, we discuss the idea that relationships aren't all about sexual intimacy. It's more than that and when we enter relationships, we share space psychologically, emotionally, energetically.

There’s an echo that follows when I speak but our guest is crystal clear. I encourage you to listen without headphones or just turn me down when I speak so that you can get this great content from Laura!

Seems like whenever I question or doubt myself in this space I'm met with just what I need to see or hear from someone. I share thank you messages on social media but this one . . . I let Heather share

There are many ways to get involved with advocacy. In my experience, I've connected with people who get inspired by someone's work in this space and charge into making a social media post sharing that they are positive for herpes. If you're in that space, I encourage you to listen to this podcast episode so that you have more perspective to make the most informed decision you possibly can.

After a positive diagnosis, one can experience a loss of identity. Clarice Connelly and I go into the development of identity and healthy places to construct your new identity.

Solo episode here where I share my diagnosis and talk about the birth of this platform and its evolution. Also, we gotta reevaluate the phrase "successful disclosure".

Welcome to the 100th spfpp episode (by number). I answer a few listener questions and interview the mind behind the sexually expressive Instagram handle, @strictlysex, Follow her for a sex positive, explicit sharing of sexual turn-ons, wins and conversations with like-minded people in this space. We talk about her recent diagnosis with genital HSV-1 and her experiences with past partners who've had herpes prior to her diagnosis.

Dr. Evelin Dacker joins us with a safer sexual communication model she constructed from many resources. STARS as described in this episode can be a useful tool for a herpes disclosure to prospective partners. This method calls for self awareness and the identification of intentions in order to create conscious relationships with others. Herpes is a tricky virus - We only ‘kill the mood’ based on how we carry shame - You are not your infection, it’s a part of you - Consent is the bigger picture - STARS is a model for conscious relationships - Herpes tests aren’t great

Check out Dr. Dacker's work:

http://maketimeforthetalk.com/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=06Z6mKMGq4M

Save 20% off your first at home STI test kit from LetsGetChecked when you visit www.TryLgc.com/spfpp and please don't forget that spfpp there.

Get 10% off your first month of counseling/therapy at www.betterhelp.com/spfpp

What does race have to do with sex education? .Why are minorities at a greater risk than their counterparts for STIs and teen pregnancy? What factors play a role in teaching black and brown communities sex education? How do we use the truth to keep our youth from being vulnerable to deception? We answer these questions and address parental concerns about teaching sex ed to their kids who "shouldn't be having sex in the first place".

Trigger warning to survivors of any kind of abuse. Our guest is 25 year old, Z who was diagnosed with genital herpes at age 15. There's some triggering backstory to her trauma. The dysfunction of this trauma has become normalized. When people say they're a product of their environment, what that means is there's a systematic structure in place that encourages particular behaviors. In Z's experience, we're talking about sexual abuse, predatory behaviors, pedophilia, physical abuse, shame, and secrecy which enables things to be done in the shadows. Please take care of yourself listening to this episode especially if you are a survivor of abuse. This is important. What hit me the hardest is that Z said her life would've been different had she just had an open space to talk. When she received it from the father of her 9 month old child, it was used to manipulate her and she was then abused. We have to do something different. Even if that starts with recognizing Z's story as one of many taking place as we speak. Proper sex education can become a foundation to create openness in communities and homes so that there is language and encouragement to point out dysfunction and illegal behavior. One resource I recommend in helping navigate sexual health talks in families for parents to initiate these conversations is www.sexpositivefamilies.com.

Founder of The Institute for Sexuality and Intimacy, Dr. Lexx Brown-James, LMFT, CSE can be found on Instagram @lexxsexdoc. We discuss the over-sexualization of black bodies, how sexual trauma and therapy look different for black people, guilt vs shame and the history of STIs. You can also visit www.lexxsexdoc.com to check her out.