Something Something Joystick

This week, we discuss Hall & Oates, tight socks, Pauline Hanson, a thorough Freudian analysis of breasts, a visit to SSJ Industries HQ, our first appearance on actual radio, Carly Rae Jepsen, Tom's future at university, and vaccuum cleaners.

In SSST: we talk long and hard about Microsoft's just-announced console, the Xbox One! That's it!

In Ask SSJ: darn punk kids these days, The Book Was Better, trashmonster Catwoman, "skin colour" crayons, ducks, a peculiar Would You Rather involving (what else but) penises, Tom's sister, Amanda Bynes, atheists in Heaven, and Dragon Ball Z.

SSJ Theme 2: Xavier Rubetzki Noonan

A Shine To It: Bomb The Music Industry!

Dishsoap Boubles: Nim / CC BY-NC-ND 3.0

Crap-yo-pants Rawmin / CC BY-NC-SA 3.0

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This week, we discuss Jay-Z, lateness*, breast-testing, police corruption, our tales of crime, methods to prevent a mugging, Mad Men, Taylor Swift's upcoming Australian tour, medals, our sporting achievements and failures, bullying, Deadly Premonition, and games that make us feel like children.

In SSFST: we talk about our pals Fun Machine, famous tennis players, twins, Gran Turismo 6, online plans for The Last of Us, Fassassin's Creed, and Nintendo, who have demonstrated yet again how out of touch they are.

In Ask SSJ: I forget to read some excellent mail sent in by David Juan, and instead we talk about George Takei, Howard Stern, my Twitter handle, missed celebrations, my grandmother's birthday, my marriage with Tom's sister, belt politics, Meg Juan, the state of my facial hair, standup, miracles, communicating with our future selves, the cusp of Generation Y, the pros and cons of dating Taylor Swift, Tom's masturbatory preferences, the realities of early death and pregnancy, SSJ: The Next Generation, patriarchy, reliving past lives, our trip to PAX, and the possibility of merch. Ooh. Merch sounds like a dirty word.

SSJ Theme 2: Xavier Rubetzki Noonan

Cougar: Fun Machine

Aaaaa: Lithis / CC BY-NC-ND 3.0

Vocal Coach: Bomb The Music Industry!

FEATURE TRACK: West End: Astrid & the Asteroids

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Check out the Mad Men Happy Hour Podcast!

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*A glaring error on my part - it was David "Gustavo Almadovar" Juan who wrote in, not #GargoyleJuan.

Hm. Kinda makes it look like he died.

This week, we discuss farts, incorrigibility, Game of Thrones, Google history, Boticelli, ghosts, the official SSJ App, the history of the condom, Tom's voice, meditation, podcast suicide, Far Cry 3: Blood Dragon, Mortal Kombat, GTA: Vice City, and a whirlwind tour of your favourite sitcoms from the 80s, 90s and now. Also, we discuss whether ghosts are real, and play a game of 'Where Is It?', which is kind of like a game but not fun.

In SSST: Sim City 4 is announced, EA and FIFA to keep working together for a decade, the Ouya is delayed, a new Wolfenstein game is on the way, and something about fighting games. Also, sandwiches, Vampire Weekend, my recent adventures in being-flirted-with (side-note: yes, it's that rare that I have to bring it up on the show) (side-side-note: our most censored segment!), the total number of dogs in the world (a lot of pooches!), muscle spasms, 'ballers', and my lover Alexei.

In Ask SSJ: metal/Motown (met-own? mo-tal?), pancakes, smells in space, dalmatians, ghosts (again), birthdays, Freud, Glucos: God of Sweetening, the Blue Man Group, the Great Gatsby, Mad Men, Tom's ambitious plan to invest in a weapon, and we tapdance ourselves out.

Thanks to Daniel Juan and huge birthday love to Aaron Juan for writing in!

SSJ Theme 2: Xavier Rubetzki Noonan

Wake Up: Crazy Games / CC BY-NC-SA 3.0

Backtrackin': Vhiiula / CC BY-NC-ND 3.0

CLICK HERE to download!

Email Tom or Xavier or both!

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This week, we discuss farts, incorrigibility, Game of Thrones, Google history, Boticelli, ghosts, the official SSJ App, the history of the condom, Tom's voice, meditation, podcast suicide, Far Cry 3: Blood Dragon, Mortal Kombat, GTA: Vice City, and a whirlwind tour of your favourite sitcoms from the 80s, 90s and now. Also, we discuss whether ghosts are real, and play a game of 'Where Is It?', which is kind of like a game but not fun. In SSST: Sim City 4 is announced, EA and FIFA to keep working together for a decade, the Ouya is delayed, a new Wolfenstein game is on the way, and something about fighting games. Also, sandwiches, Vampire Weekend, my recent adventures in being-flirted-with (side-note: yes, it's that rare that I have to bring it up on the show) (side-side-note: our most censored segment!), the total number of dogs in the world (a lot of pooches!), muscle spasms, 'ballers', and my lover Alexei. In Ask SSJ: metal/Motown (met-own? mo-tal?), pancakes, smells in space, dalmatians, ghosts (again), birthdays, Freud, Glucos: God of Sweetening, the Blue Man Group, the Great Gatsby, Mad Men, Tom's ambitious plan to invest in a weapon, and we tapdance ourselves out. Thanks to Daniel Juan and huge birthday love to Aaron Juan for writing in! MUSIC USED: SSJ Theme 2: Xavier Rubetzki Noonan Wake Up: Crazy Games / CC BY-NC-SA 3.0Backtrackin': Vhiiula / CC BY-NC-ND 3.0 CLICK HERE to download! Email Tom or Xavier or both! Add Sandsky on XBL and PSN: colourfast Add Xavier on PSN and XBL: xavierrn

This week, we're celebrating the Fifth-o de Mayo! We discuss Star Wars Day, mayonnaise, weird foods, Sea Monkeys, PlayStation Plus, Thomas Was Alone, The Walking Dead, racism, video game reviews, recent standup shows, loss, and nuclear war.

In SSST: Microsoft's Xbox announcement is just around the corner, and the just-announced Call of Duty: Ghosts will be revealed there too, Sony announce the date for their big E3 press conference, while publishers like 2K Games, Valve and Nintendo won't be exhibiting, Kevin Conroy won't be voicing the Bat in Batman: Arkham Oranges, Nintendo beg you to upgrade to the totally-not-just-an-upgrade Wii U, the Gears of War movie adaptation gets a director (also, I flip out at Tom for watching TMZ), and GTA V is still a game which is going to be coming out.

In Ask SSJ: we talk about Men In Black 4, hate mail, my Tweets, Save Ferris, whether I'm qt, E3 2013, shoe sizes, Kickstarter, fighting games, the politics of table-sitting, our rare and weird games, and dry mouth noises.

Thanks to Ella, Zhana, Michael and David for your great questions!

SSJ Theme 2: Xavier Rubetzki Noonan

Cable Swingin' Ferret: Goto80 and the Uwe Schenk Band / CC BY 3.0

Rage Flows: Born Ruffians

My Skateboard Will Go On: Anamanaguchi / CC BY-NC-ND 3.0

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i consider myself quite a gifted photographer

This week, on a very special Tom's Birthday special, we discuss my favourite song, our first standup show, surprise parties, The Last Of Us, our new website and email addresses, and recording an album.

In SSST: we have a date for the reveal of the new Xbox, we discuss grave shopping, and elves, Nintendo's E3 plans, new GTA V trailers on the way, Ratchet & Clank movie announced, Call of Duty: Ghosts might be a thing, there's a Metal Gear 25th anniversary collection on the way, then we talk about The Who, and Rick Springfield's weird head.

In Ask SSJ: we discuss The Lion King, Carly Rae Jepsen, koi fish, pimply babies, being raised by moles, my history of chemistry, tequila, Tom's adolescence, Olympic swimming, sphincters, breaststroke, Tom's sister (and why I can't marry a girl with a disappointing Twitter), Chevy Chase's roast, and bingo.

SSJ Theme 2: Xavier Rubetzki Noonan

Twitching In Our Sleep: Cloud Four

Even Winning Feels Bad: Bomb The Music Industry!

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This week, we celebrate our favourite least favourite subculture, and talk about dancing throughout history, 3D printing, Scooby-Doo, the soul, IGN Australia's Dead Island: Riptide Black Beta, the SS Joystick Annual Button Donation Drive, our episode of The Book Was Better, our thoughts on attempting standup comedy, alternative riot control, and Bioshock Infinite.

In SSST: Nintendo reveal a new Zelda game, and it's a follow-up to A Link To The Past, Earthbound finally comes to Virtual Console, and the new Yoshi game leaves a bad first impression. Resident Evil creator Shinji Mikami unveils his new survival horror game, the Jak & Daxter HD Collection heads to the Vita, and Surgeon Simulator 2013 gets a fleshed-out release on Steam.

In Ask SSJ: it's Tom's birthday on Tuesday, and we talk about Real Housewives, parental neglect, sexual energy, our musical backstories, unintentional sex-witnessing, our history with Mary Jane Blaze It Up Four Hudnred and Twetny, our views on gun control (?!), some gaming memories, and what time it is. Thanks to Johanna, Cameron, Napoleon, Michael and Ree for writing in!

Strut: Pablo J & the Lobsterettes

SSJ Theme 2: Xavier Rubetzki Noonan

6-5000: Born Ruffians

Sorry, Brooklyn. Dancing Won't Solve Anything: Bomb The Music Industry!

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IT IS ILLEGAL TO USE, POSSESS, GROW OR SELL CANNABIS IN AUSTRALIA. IF SOMEONE IS CAUGHT WITH UP TO 15 GRAMS OF CANNABIS IN NEW SOUTH WALES, THEY MAY RECEIVE A 'CAUTION' FROM THE POLICE OFFICER

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this episode is dedicated to my mother.

happy birthday mum. i love you.

This week, we talk about Rent, Rod Serling, ladies, farts, hip-hop, Dungeons & Dragons, juice, Scientology, Jane Levy, Guacamelee, and other dip-related puns.

In SSST: Margaret Thatcher, Ayn Rand, Rihanna, alternate readings, Far Cry 3: Blood Dragon, Marc Maron, The Game, Batman: Arkham Oranges, GTA soundtracks, TV locations, burglary, insurance fraud, Square Enix's financial troubles, accents, EA voted 'worst company in America' again, and a failed Mega Man FPS.

In Ask SSJ: we discuss undereducated pigheadedness, public humiliation, a young Tom's giant human-sized cock, Pepsi vs. Coke, Inspector Gadget-style bodily utilities, Aziz Ansari, controller-breaking fury, mom, Oliver!, SSJ as a video, our survival instincts, cult leaders, Tom's sexual leanings, ax-throwing, and our UPCOMING APPEARANCE ON THE BOOK WAS BETTER! Thanks to Cameron, David, and Michael for writing in!

SSJ Theme 2: Xavier Rubetzki Noonan

Ocean's Deep: Born Ruffians

Sick, Later: Bomb The Music Industry!

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YOU ASK HIM TO PASS THE SALT, HE GIVES YOU A BOWL OF SOUP. BECAUSE YOU KNOW WHAT, SOUP IS BETTER.

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Didn't take a pic this week. Here is Tom looking

both rather nice and totally terrifying at the same time.

This week, we're joined by our pal (and raconteur) Lee Sullivan to discuss our trip to Melbourne, fish jerky, apartheid, and Tom's drunken antics. We cut to audio recorded on the scene, including a special (and very awkward and fangirlish) interview with the one and only Pete Holmes. Then we touch on the brand-new Sly Cooper: Thieves In Time, and new DLC for Sound Shapes.

In SSST: Disney disbands LucasArts, Rockstar unveils GTA V's cover art, and Telltale announces Poker Night 2. Yep, that's all.

In Ask SSJ: we discuss filmmaking, drugs, ALF, hardcore gaming, and then Tom gets out of there as quickly as possible.

All music this week was improvised by Lee Sullivan, who you'll know from bands such as Canoelands and Dr. Spaceman.

Oh wait, no, there was one more track.

Krispy - Kia Shine (used without permission)

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NEW TO THE CARTOON WAS Q*BERT'S USE OF "SLIPPY-DOOS", A BLACK BALL PROJECTILE WHICH HE LOADED AND FIRED THROUGH HIS NOSE, PRODUCING AN OIL SLICK WHEREVER THE BALLS SPLATTERED

Check out Pete Holmes on Twitter, and of course his brilliant podcast, You Made It Weird!

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This week, we talk about native bird calls, North Korea, hangovers, cockles, Tom's double-date, Hercules, Jessica Alba, Bioshock Infinite, and cheating in games.

In SSST: The Walking Dead, Hotline Miami, and Limbo headed to PS Vita, Square Enix announce the wrong Final Fantasy remakes, Yoichi Wada resigns as Square Enix CEO, Twitter thinks Valve is about to announce something, and Konami announces Metal Gear V: The Phantom Pain.

In Ask SSJ: we make up our own fanfiction, forget to help Ghost Bride move, talk about the impact of Australia's R18+ rating for games, investigate how the Americanisation of Australia has coloured our enjoyment of Bioshock Infinite, and our lives as Australians on the whole, and we look back on some treasured memories from our childhoods.

SSJ Theme 2: Xavier Rubetzki Noonan

Fall of the Free Market: Gunface

Twinkle: Lo-Bat / CC BY-NC-SA 3.0

Leafless Quince Tree: Rolemusic / CC BY-NC-SA 3.0

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GIRL OH GIRL!

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