When my Dad passed away in June it was obviously difficult. The loss, the confusion, the fear. Those emotions were all so difficult to process and accept. Even though we knew he was sick, it's something that you cannot prepare for. What I didn't expect, however, was how difficult the cleaning process would be. My Dad was a minimalist before it was cool. He kept a clean, tidy and minimal amount of things... that didn't make it any easier to go through.
One of the boxes I had to clear out was a box of books that he was planning on reading. He never got to read Hammer of the Gods or the book about how to publish your own book. Included in that pile of unread plans was a book by James McBride called Kill Em and Leave. As I stood there looking at the cover, surrounded by the physical items that made up my Dad's life I thought, "Wow. What a perfect tagline for what we just went through."
My father's death gutted us, it was unexplainable, imaginable. His death killed us. Then he left. In that moment I remember thinking that would be a great line for a song. That is how this episode started.
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