Sophie Santos, author of The One You Want to Marry, joins the guys to talk about life as a teenage lesbian pageant queen in Montgomery, Alabama (and beyond). Then, the guys look at the stars of new trashy reality show Tampa Baes to ask: are lesbians making it worse, too, and HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE? And in learning that Brent occasionally wears jeans to the gym, H. Alan and Eliot evaluate whether this is totally normal, kinda weird, or "gay illegal." Plus, which of these three things is the gayest: Natalie Maines, Shawn Mendes, or H. Alan in a vest?

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