I have Disassociative Identity Disorder symptoms alongside my main schizo diag. Well, part of that means I sometimes can't cope with reality or my own emotional reactions to real situations, so I 'switch off' go somewhere and 'someone' stronger takes my place to deal with it. I get a blank stare and I lose proper memory of stuff or events. Mostly I don't remember or can't recall the emotional turmoil or rewards attached. I remember situations like an outsider looking through the patio doors of my mind. This poem is about me and my nana before she 'knew' or at least disclosed that she was dying. I think she knew long before we did. I love my nana she raised me well. I wish I could have comforted her. I went 'missing' emotionally but I always SAW her really saw who she was and she saw me. Sometimes she didn't like what she saw because it wasn't the Claire (my baby name) that she loved. Poem 22 of 100 poems project. Another short one of a subject I can't cope with yet. X

Surviving Survival 21 of a 100 poems project it's about me after my father passed away who I didn't grow up living with but was the best dad ever !! It's kinda short because I can't think too long about this subject. X

Bit busy here but forced me to read a bit louder! This poem is about my wild imagination when the TV is switched to stand by and the blinds are up, open in the dark night and I see my reflection but convince myself that in the corner of my eye there are spirits or souls or hallucinations from another realm. I tried tokeep it vague so none of this will show or be told in this short poem. It's number 20 out of my 100 poem challenge and so a little milestone. Follow if you enjoy! X

Another installment of the 100 poems project. This one is fairly short form - seriously recited lol - ambiguous prose. (19/100)

Bit ropey reading of another prose type poem. Could read my own writing so had to do some improvising. 🤣

Prose poem written in one block stanza, no line breaks, no rhymn scheme. With additional music - an instrumental cover of the original - music to finish. No.17 in my 100 poem writing practice 'challenge'. During the intro there is a clicking mic interference after that the only added extra is our dog snoring as usual. I hope you enjoy! Xx

So upsetting what happens to me and I allow it. There's rain in my love time to reign in my love... You know what I mean!? SHORT POEM 16th of 100. Hope IT GETS BETTER 💔⛓️

Below Full Poem: DELIRIOUS Opening glittering veins

Of savage paranoia

Searing indignation

To the junkies of my horror

Across these miles

Of stone and skulls

May nothing haunt

You hearts dark hulls

The nights get too long

For a river of deep sleep

Not every fight is logical

Wither thy weakness obstacle

Just ake me to your master

Forsaken passenger's brave

Endeavour mind is thus thy slave

Recipicate my love or else

This renogade will be done

For time is the power

And fear our kingdom come

Which tricks have trickled down

my spine

In fluid bourne from stolen stardust

Revitalised every bone's vertebrae

Requires robust thrusts

For thy to carry alone, thus slay

You thought it be impossible

To train fiery naked flames

But I am more unstoppable

So dance dance dance

Let's tame our delirious brains.

Below is full POEM: I am moving... I'm a scruffy apparition

in a land of ghosts,

hair and clothes

flapping in the wind,

in a diluted sunlight my palid skin a-glow.

I am moving... with an utterly ungraspable

determination I lazily,

languidly lay intrusive

thoughts to rest;

badly bitten fingers

stumbling blearily to rub

the grubby temples of

my wearily humming head,

I am moving....

hair tonsured by the razor winds

I snarl as it bites and whips,

then huddle further into myself,

as melancholic madness grips.

I am moving....

falling into mortared slashes,

bright in a sharply-focussed

mind, attaching to the scars,

scabs and gashes,

immortal wounds

laymented finds.

I am moving....

emotional neglect seeping

through my bones

I dream of falling buildings

breaking down walls of my own.

I am moving... Fascinated in a fossiliferous fury There is no other realm overlit, but for that place which

scared but shining in glory fires the darkened heart in

it's acidic heated kelm.

I am moving...

among the magma that intrudes

my soul for want of a better

specimen, my psyche throbs within the subterranean

phenomena

inside my skull

and sacrid kin.

I am moving...

My brain fumes like javelins swarming like lighting sparks

leaping over lakes of pain on splintered stilts hitting the landscape, smeared with

bullshitted hurt -

a place I call

my heart. I am moving.

"I just want to exist.." as short poem. Part 13 of my 100 poems practice. It rhymes but it's hardly poetic. I am sti exploring forms and trying to find my own voice and style within poetry. Having D.I.D. I often struggle finding one solid identity so mostly it's an eclectic mix of 'it is what it is'. Thank you for following 💓