I recently confided in someone regarding my truth. It was in a public place however I thought our conversation was private. It wasn't... Whoops! The person who overheard was put off by the content of the conversation. I think fear was at the root of their feelings. And that fear was most likely rooted in good intentions. The days that followed brought all of the emotions I have suppressed and were unseen due to the fear the other person evoked in me from their feelings of being uncomfortable. I now get something I was too privileged to see. The fear of being openly “out”.
So why am I putting myself out there? If I now understand the danger of presenting this information publicly, “broadcasting” as some of my friends have advised me not to do, then why was I so eager to share it with the world…. This is why… As long as it is a "thing" that people are triggered by LGBTQ truths then it is of the utmost importance to talk about it. Just like any other conflict that humans get into, conversation is key to be able to move past the conflict. I look forward to the day that it no longer is an issue what gender, race, and sexuality you are. But we aren't there yet, so let's shed light on why.
Being a woman who is perceived as “straight” I have avoided being discriminated against by others because it is not obvious that I am anything but. This also makes me feel invisible. And the lack of being open about my status has contributed to this feeling of not being seen for who I am. Now that I have felt the paralyzing fear of someone else's judgment I am ready to let that go by freeing myself to be seen on my terms rather than gosip. My truth. So here we go…
I am bisexual. And I am coming out at 35. This may not seem like a big deal, especially if you are someone who's roots run deep with me in Salt Lake City, Utah, where per Capita there is a higher LGBTQ community than in San Francisco. But this is indeed HUGE for me. There is also a factor that I now live in a place that is not as open as one where I came from. But if I stayed silent… if we all stayed silent in places that wanted us to, then there would never be an opportunity for growth and expansion in the places that need it most.
I've known all my life and shared the discovery with my parents ever since I was a teenager. I am so lucky to have had full acceptance from them right from the start. In fact I had never been discriminated against until this recent incident. Did I say I was privileged?! I know that this decision to share this information publicly will bring up some uncomfortable feelings for people that come across it and I urge people to ask themselves why they feel uncomfortable. I am also prepared to experience some uncomfortable situations because of this as well. But I will not say sorry for who I am. This simply is an act of self love and support for the LGBTQ community.
This is also a reminder that I am the same person that you already know. The same safe person who works with children almost every day teaching them how to paint, sing, and swim. The same person who loves the outdoors and the feeling of the earth underneath my feet. I am the same, I'm just allowing myself to be seen for all that I am.
Please share this with anyone you think would benefit to hear this. Your story can be medicine for others.
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