How much of your energy are you spending trying to fix, manage, rescue, or change someone you love?

In Episode 41 of Southern, Sober & Sassy, Kristy and I dig into a powerful concept inspired by Dr. Michael F. Barnes’ work and talk about the 80/20 rule—what happens when we spend 80% of our time and emotional energy focused on things we may have very little control over, while neglecting the 20% that actually belongs to us.

And we don’t just talk about it—we’ve lived it.

Kristy and I share some of our own experiences with loved ones and what it has looked like to love someone while trying to figure out where helping ends and managing begins. Sometimes our desire to protect, fix, or create a different outcome comes from a place of love…but somewhere along the way, we can lose ourselves in someone else’s problem.

Maybe the question isn’t, “How do I get them to change?”

Maybe it’s:

What is actually mine to change?

🔥 Where is YOUR 80% going?

Much Love, Amy & Kristy

What if the harshest voice about your body isn’t coming from someone else… but from the one in your own head?

In this heartfelt episode, we’re getting real about:

🤍 Body dysmorphia

🤍 Body shaming

🤍 Learning to accept the body you’re in

🤍 The emotional impact of comparison

🤍 Finding freedom from unrealistic expectations

Amy also shares her personal journey after having her breast implants removed and what it has been like learning to truly feel comfortable in her own skin.

This isn’t just a conversation about appearance…

It’s a conversation about healing, self-worth, and recovery.

🎙️ If you’ve ever looked in the mirror and struggled to love what you see, this episode is for you.

💚 Listen now, share with someone who needs this reminder, and join the conversation.

👇 Tell us:

What’s one thing you’ve learned to appreciate about your body?

Much love, Amy & Kristy

[email protected]

🎙️ Saturday Sassy Stories

“Real people. Real recovery. Real hope.”

Every recovery has a beginning.

Every scar has a story.

Every story has the power to save a life.

This week, I’m honored to sit down with my friend David Malow as he shares his personal recovery journey.

His story is honest.

It’s raw.

It’s filled with hope, hard-earned wisdom, and proof that no one is ever too far gone to find a new way of living.

If you’ve ever wondered…

✨ Can people really change?

✨ Is long-term recovery possible?

✨ What does it actually take to rebuild a life?

This conversation is for you.

Whether you’re in recovery yourself, love someone who is, or simply need a reminder that hope still exists, I hope you’ll listen.

🎧 Listen wherever you enjoy podcasts.

💚 If David’s story encourages you, please:

✔️ Like this post

✔️ Share it with someone who needs hope today

✔️ Leave us a comment with your biggest takeaway

Because stories don’t just inspire…

Sometimes they save lives.

To contact David:

David Malow

(760) 396-8369 

https://gps4recovery.com

Thank y'all for Listening!

Amy & Kristy

🎙️ Saturday Sassy Stories

“Real people. Real recovery. Real hope.”

Every recovery has a beginning.

Every scar has a story.

Every story has the power to save a life.

This week, I’m honored to sit down with our friend David Malow, as he shares his personal recovery journey.

His story is honest.

It’s raw.

It’s filled with hope, hard-earned wisdom, and proof that no one is ever too far gone to find a new way of living.

If you’ve ever wondered…

Can people really change?

Is long-term recovery possible?

What does it actually take to rebuild a life?

This conversation is for you.

Whether you’re in recovery yourself, love someone who is, or simply need a reminder that hope still exists, I hope you’ll listen.

🎧 Listen wherever you enjoy podcasts.

💚 If David’s story encourages you, please:

✔️ Like this post

✔️ Share it with someone who needs hope today

✔️ Leave us a comment with your biggest takeaway

Because stories don’t just inspire…

Sometimes they save lives.

To contact David:

David Malow

(760) 396-8369 

https://gps4recovery.com

Thanks y'all!!  - Amy & Kristy [email protected]

We’re talking about the fear of abandonment—how it can quietly shape our decisions, fuel people-pleasing, create unhealthy attachments, and convince us to settle for less than we deserve. We’ll also explore what it means to replace fear with faith, healthy boundaries, and emotional security.

You don’t have to live waiting for the other shoe to drop. Healing is possible, and freedom begins when we stop letting fear write our story.

 IF this episode speaks to you, please like, follow, share, and leave a review. You never know who needs this message today. 

Here is the reading Kristy shared in the beginning:

Letting Go of Fear of Abandonment

July 12

"Where are you, God? Where did you go?"

So many people have gone away. We may have felt so alone so much. In the midst of our struggles and lessons, we may wonder if God has gone away too.

There are wondrous days when we feel God's protection and presence, leading and guiding each step and event. There are gray, dry days of spiritual barrenness when we wonder if anything in our life is guided or planned. Wondering if God knows or cares.

Seek quiet times on the gray days. Force discipline and obedience until the answer comes, because it will.

"I have not gone away child. I am here, always. Rest in me, in confidence. All in your life is being guided and planned, each detail. I know, and I care. Things are being worked out as quickly as possible for your highest good. Trust and be grateful. I am right here. Soon you will see, and know." Today, I will remember that God has not abandoned me. I can trust that God is leading, guiding, directing, and planning in love each detail of my life.

Thank you for watching, listening and supporting!

Much Love, Amy & Kristy

[email protected]

Also a great episode that relates to abandonment:

"Beautiful things don't Beg" Season 2

🎙️ Sassy Story Saturday -Shawna F.

Today we’re honored to introduce you to Shawna. 💚

Shawna’s story is one of courage, transformation, and hope. She has overcome drug addiction, alcohol addiction, people-pleasing, and codependency—not by becoming someone else, but by discovering who she was always meant to be through the gift of recovery.

Today, Shawna is living proof that healing is possible. Her life reflects freedom, purpose, healthy relationships, and the joy that comes from doing the work one day at a time.

Recovery doesn’t erase our past…

It gives our past a purpose.

We hope Shawna’s story reminds you that no matter where you’ve been or what you’ve struggled with, there is always hope for a new beginning.

💚 “We share comfort and encouragement with others.”

If Shawna’s story speaks to your heart, leave her some love in the comments, share this interview with someone who needs hope today, and join us every Saturday as we celebrate real people, real recovery, and real freedom.

Much Love, Amy & Kristy

[email protected]

Every recovery has a story.

Every family has a journey.

Every scar has something to teach.

And we believe your story matters.

Whether you’re in recovery, love someone who is, have overcome life’s hardest seasons, or simply have a message of hope to share, we’d love to feature you on Sassy Stories Saturday.

💚 Local? Come sit down with us in person for a relaxed conversation.

💻 Not local? No problem! We’ll Zoom you in from wherever you are.

Our goal is simple:

To remind people that they are not alone, healing is possible, and hope grows every time someone has the courage to say, “Me too.”

Interested in being a guest?

📧 Email us at [email protected]

Let’s turn our stories into someone else’s survival guide.

Southern, Sober & Sassy

Real Stories. Real Recovery. Real Hope.

With Love..Amy & Kristy

🇺🇸 What does freedom really mean to you?

This Fourth of July, Kristy and I are talking about a kind of freedom that can’t be measured by fireworks, flags, or parades.

We’re talking about the freedom to stop living for everyone else.

The freedom to walk away from chaos.

The freedom to heal.

The freedom to forgive without forgetting.

The freedom to say no without explaining yourself.

And the freedom to become who you were always meant to be.

Because sometimes the biggest chains in our lives aren’t the ones we can see.

In this special episode of Southern Sober & Sassy, we’re celebrating America’s 250th birthday by asking a bigger question:

Are you truly free—or are you still being held hostage by your past, your fear, other people’s opinions, or the life you thought you had to live?

Pull up a chair, y’all. This conversation is about reclaiming your life, your voice, and your freedom. 🇺🇸❤️🤍💙

Much Love and Freedom! - Amy & Kristy

[email protected]

🎙️ Southern Sober & Sassy Podcast

Fear of Missing Out… or Fear of Being Invited?

Well now… let’s stir the pot a little.

Do you get anxious when you aren’t invited… or do you secretly breathe a sigh of relief when you are? 

Recovery has a funny way of changing our social calendar. Sometimes we grieve the life we left behind. Other times, we’d rather stay home in comfy clothes than explain why we’re not drinking.

In this episode, we’re talking about:

*FOMO vs. FOBI (Fear of Being Invited)

*Learning to protect your peace without feeling guilty

*Why “No, thank you” is a complete sentence

*Finding joy in the life you’re building instead of chasing the one you left behind

So grab your sweet tea (or your coffee), kick off those boots, and join us for a conversation that’s equal parts laughter, truth, and recovery.

Because around here, we’re not just staying sober… we’re learning to love the life that comes with it. ❤️

🎧 thank you for listening! Please like and subscribe for more sober sass!

With love and sass...Amy & Kristy

In this episode of Southern Sober & Sassy, we dive into a powerful recovery question: Are you seeking the solution, or are you sinking in the problem?

In this episode of Southern Sober & Sassy, we dive into a powerful recovery question: Are you seeking the solution, or are you sinking in the problem?

Life has a way of pulling us into fear, resentment, self-pity, and overwhelm. Whether you’re navigating addiction, codependency, family dysfunction, grief, or everyday stress, it’s easy to get stuck treading water in the problem rather than swimming toward the solution.

We discuss how recovery teaches us to shift our focus from what is wrong to what can be done today. We explore the importance of identifying your “lifeguards”—the people, principles, tools, and spiritual resources that help keep you afloat when life gets stormy.

In this conversation, we cover:

• The difference between problem-focused thinking and solution-focused living
• Why isolation keeps us stuck
• How sponsors, mentors, therapists, recovery groups, and faith can serve as lifeguards
• The importance of asking for help before you’re in crisis
• Practical ways to move from overwhelm to action

Remember: recovery doesn’t require perfection—it requires willingness. The solution is often found in the next right step, not in having all the answers.

Question for listeners: When life pulls you under, who is your lifeguard?

Tune in and join us as we explore what it means to stop sinking in the problem and start swimming toward the solution. 🌊🤍

Virtual Hugs! Amy & Kristy - [email protected]