Speak in the Suffering

The Christmas season is filled with wonder, but not when you’re grieving or hurting. This episode has two parts, focused on how we can engage the season when we’re hurting or grieving.

The first conversation is with Sara Ward, author of Made for Hope. She and Trevor talk about how to engage hurt well during this season, practical ideas for remembering loved ones, and how to love others who are hurting as well.

In the second part Anne Griffin discusses a service she leads at her church, Platte Park, specifically for those who are hurting and grieving during the Christmas season.

Read Navigating the holidays when you’re hurting on our blog.

Lament. It’s probably not a regular topic of conversation at your dinner table. You may not even be really sure what lament is. You wouldn’t be alone.

But lament is powerful, and for those who are dealing with suffering, grief, and pain, it is especially important. We also live in a world that is deeply broken, and we need lament as a means of addressing that.

This is the first in a series of episodes focused on lament. Trevor is joined by Nathan Hoag and Phil Owen to talk about what lament is and why it matters.

“Your reputation is in the hands of others. That’s what the reputation is. You can’t control that. The only thing you can control is your character.” Wayne Dyer

On this episode of Speak in the Suffering, Markus Watson shares a difficult part of his story. He talks about the fears, but also how he experienced the presence of God with him in the midst of it. His story highlights the immense importance of our character–who we really are–and the way that God works for redemption out of our darkest times.

In this final part of our series on the Enneagram and suffering, Kelley tackles number 7, 8, and 9. Some of the things she touches on…

How do different people “metabolize” suffering?

How our behavior can change when things aren’t going well.

What it means to be fully human–and how we move in that direction.

How we can grow in the ways we’re with people in their suffering.

We hope you’ve enjoyed this series! Up next we’ll have another story and then a series on lament.

How does suffering impact our relationships?

What do people need in their suffering?

How does our suffering produce growth?

These are all questions covered in part two of our series on Suffering and the Enneagram with Kelley Gray. This episode focuses on numbers 4, 5, and 6.

Even if you aren’t a 4, 5, or 6 (or even if you aren’t sure what the Enneagram is!) this episode still has a great deal of wisdom about how we all engage suffering just because we’re human.

If you missed the first part of this conversation you can listen to it by going to Speak in the Suffering on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or Google Podcasts, or by clicking here.

The way we’re made plays a huge role in how we experience and process suffering. Do we dive deep into our feelings or try to avoid them? Do we long for community or have a strong desire to pull back and handle things ourselves?

With this in mind, we’re starting a three part series on suffering through the lens of the Enneagram. It’s a robust framework that can help facilitate a deep dive into how we’re made and how we work. I’m joined on all three of the upcoming episodes by Kelley Gray, a licensed counselor and Enneagram expert. She currently works with Restoring the Soul–and organization that does powerful counseling intensives.

On this episode Kelley walks us through numbers 1-3 on the Enneagram–exploring how each of these types approaches life and difficulty.

There are so many things in life that are both challenging and rewarding–hard but profoundly good. That dynamic comes through in my conversation with Wendy and Abby on this episode about parenting children who have special needs.

Wendy talks about her daughter Clara (Wendy’s family is in the picture), the challenges Clara faces, and the way that has shaped their family life. Abby, who I interviewed for episode 7, is a friend of Wendy’s and works supporting families who have children with special needs.

While there are unique things about parenting children with special needs, I think all parents will find profound points of contact with the stories, insecurities, and joys Wendy and Abby share.

How do you keep from becoming cynical about everything in life when suffering is chronic or long term? In this episode Paul Steinke shares some of his story and explores the fight for hope and joy over cynicism.

What happens when tragedy and suffering just keep coming? What does suffering look like in different stages of life? Why can googling things be both a blessing and a curse? These are just a few of the questions Sara gets into on this episode of the podcast. She explores the contours of her own story with vulnerability and grace–not minimizing the pain, but also offering hope.

Sara is a writer and speaker. You can see more of what she’s doing on her website.

Expectations create a backdrop against which we often measure life. But expectations often go unmet. In this episode Abby opens up about a variety of experiences in life that have not fit with her expectations–cancer, struggles in parenting, and moving frequently despite a desire to be rooted in one place. Abby’s honest exploration of these things provides a compelling challenge for how we think about expectations in life and where God is when things don’t go the way we plan.