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Today I’m talking with Charles Smith, an author, advocate, and lifelong survivor who uses his story as proof that you can overcome the worst that life has to offer. He has been an orphan, homeless veteran, and suicide survivor, and uses his pain as a building block to support others. Today, he’s here to speak loud about bringing awareness to complex PTSD. 

Compounding Traumas

Charles’ mother passed away when was 6, followed later by his father at age 11. As a child, he moved often, and from the PTSD found it difficult to create close relationships. His sister recalls that he didn’t speak for 6 months after they moved in with their aunt and uncle following his father’s death. Charles says that he was in shock and depressed, and afraid of getting close to people only to lose them again. 

As a young adult, Charles joined the army infantry, serving in Cuba and in the reserves. However, after his uncle and grandfather passed away, Charles found himself a homeless veteran. The depression led him to self-harm and an eventual suicide attempt. He was taken to a mental health facility and later bounced between veteran shelters for 5 years. This crucible, he explains, was actually what helped turn his life around. He no longer felt alone, seeing others in similar circumstances, and changed his views. 

Understanding Complex PTSD 

When Charles first experienced PTSD, it was known as battle fatigue and thought to only affect veterans. By the time he grew up, it was concluded that anyone who went through trauma could have PTSD. Standard PTSD forms from one specific trauma. Complex or compound PTSD, however, Charles describes as a layered cake. You can’t have multiple instances of PTSD, but you can have multiple traumas that manifest in the same illness. 

After being diagnosed, Charles wanted to learn as much about PTSD as possible and help other veterans receive the support they needed. He offered help to veterans returning from Afghanistan and Iraq, as well as created programs for various organizations to use what he had learned about PTSD. He’s written 7 books on a range of subjects, including PTSD, addiction recovery, and financial well-being. 

Giving and Receiving Help

Presently, Charles is working with Aware Recovery Care, an addiction treatment organization that specializes in in-home treatment. He works with clients for 52 weeks as they battle addiction. This way, he’s able to support people in their homes for a longer period.

Charles’ advice to listeners is to never give up. When he talks about his suicide attempt, he tells people that it was ten years ago and that his son is now ten years old. Without him, his son wouldn’t be here, either, along with many other great things he’s received since then. Charles says that he would “rather see someone get help than go to another wake.” He hopes that listeners will feel empowered by his story. 

Listen in for tools on managing PTSD symptoms, accepting the loss of loved ones, and Charles’ upcoming book and other projects. 

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Today I’m talking with Papa Ray Hurst, a husband, father, and personal coach. After surviving two major depressions, he’s now leading people to freedom through his work as a speaker, author, pastor, and business owner. Today, he is here to speak loud about absent and abusive fathers and the social struggles that can be traced back to these roots. 

Returning to Core Beliefs

Papa Ray’s greatest desire “is to be for the world what the world was not for me when I needed them the most.” His father left when he was 4, and he grew up in a Mennonite community that wasn’t equipped to handle the separation. He recounts that his relatives didn’t know what to do for him and no one stepped up to fill the space of father-figure, which led to his depressions later in life. 

Ray talks about the importance of identifying your dominant thoughts and returning to the core imprint of the subconscious, or the core beliefs. Narratives created in childhood—almost always before 10, Papa Ray says—are difficult to shake but necessary to change. A simple step to this hard process is asking yourself through writing, ‘Why am I thinking this?’ and digging deeper until you find the root cause. 

Freeing the Mind

From his own experience and others’, Papa Ray says abuse and trauma are never the victim’s fault, but holding onto resentment towards the abuser will block healing. He shares that his father was “looking for what he couldn’t find” when he left, but that wasn’t Ray’s fault. By shaming and blaming the other person, you’ll never be free. 

Ray believes that we can overcome any and every trauma we encounter. But forgiveness is key. He leads his own students to freedom by changing their beliefs of worthlessness and being unlovable. The abuser was broken and empty, and while they should still endure consequences, it’s unfair to the victim to continue punishing themselves mentally after the trauma has already ended. No one can live a healthy life until they let go of that resentment and blame. 

Healing Parental Wounds

As a personal development coach, Papa Ray shares his five simple steps to freedom with his clients, as well as his own father’s blessing. He shares that more than 90% of his clients were not loved by their fathers and all benefited greatly from his father’s blessing, which he shares in this episode. 

Papa Ray’s book, “Daddy Why Don't You Love Me? A Father's Blessing to a Daughter, Healing the Wounds of the Absent and Abusive Father,” also details his own story, apologies, and blessings. No matter how good a parent’s relationship with their child is, he says that there are no perfect parents out there, and everyone can benefit from learning how to identify and heal parental wounds. He hopes that listeners realize that they are valuable and loved, just as he did, and that everything is “one thing, one step. We don’t jump up mountains.” 

Listen in to learn more about Papa Ray’s 5 simple steps to freedom, his plans for the next five years, and a sample of his father’s blessing.

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Today I’m talking with Dr. Nghi Dang, a family medical physician of over ten years. He’s provided care to all ages for both mental and physical health, giving him a deeper view of the importance of mental health. He’s the author and illustrator of the “The Adventures of Max and Friends” children’s series and father of 2. Today, Nghi is here to speak loud about responding to mental health proactively rather than reactively and encouraging preventative action. 

Understanding Trauma and Mental Illness

Nghi was born in Vietnam and immigrated to the United States when he was 6. The culture shock turned his world upside down and he felt alone and outcasted in his new home. Despite his initial struggles with school, Nghi went on to follow his siblings’ examples in medicine and pursue a career as a doctor. 

Nghi explains that mental illness is often diagnosed when patients come in to treat symptoms that seem unexplained. Trauma and stress can affect the body in more ways than we might know, as Nghi explains, and there is a strong connection between trauma and the somatic system—which is a web of chronic symptoms one might feel in the body. Through his profession, he’s come to understand the stigma around talking about mental illness. 

Practicing Mental Wellness

Nghi believes that love will always triumph over hate and that taking care of yourself is a crucial part of your health and wellbeing. He shares inexpensive healing modalities, other than medication, such as cognitive behavior therapy for those with anxiety. Treatment requires effort and time on both sides of the patient, Nghi says. Yoga, meditation, and other practices that allow you to sort through emotions such as journaling and therapy are also helpful. 

Nghi also recommends mindfulness meditation which is derived from Buddhist wisdom. It’s easily accessible online and for free and, unlike other meditations, encourages the meditator to focus on the moment at hand. Mindfulness meditations are often guided, which Nghi believes is beneficial for those with trauma, guiding thoughts away from triggering subjects and back into the body. 

Proactively Addressing Mental Health

Nghi believes in treating mental health proactively rather than reactively. Often, he feels that we fall behind and are often playing catch-up when it comes to our mental wellbeing. For this reason, he wrote his children’s book series, “The Adventures of Max and Friends” to open up a dialogue between parents and children around mental health. 

Nghi has written 8 books, all on different mental health topics that he gears towards middle ages. One book centers on bullying, for example, and another follows learning disabilities. Through writing and also his medical practice, he hopes to give resources and the avenues needed for parents to talk with their kids about mental health, and address mental illness before it becomes debilitating. 

Listen in to learn more about starting the conversation about mental health, stigmas around mental illness, and Nghi’s beliefs on how grit and failure can lead to success. 

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Today I’m talking with Neil McKinlay, a meditation teacher and mentor who seeks to share his lifelong interest and reflection in the practice of meditation. Through his online communities, he offers a range of resources to encourage and empower meditation practitioners to access their inner wisdom and bring it into the world. 

Healing the Relationship with Self

Neil has been meditating since he was a teenager and has practiced in 2 separate Buddhist communities. However, the community was being driven by the spiritual leader’s self-centered impulses, rather than healing and meditation. The manipulation and disrespect that Neil suffered from his teacher caused him to make the difficult decision to leave the community he had been a part of for twenty years.

Neil left the community with a distorted relationship with himself and his intuition. He no longer works with a spiritual leader but is still reflecting on those twenty years and sifting through for the golden nuggets and silver linings of things he’s learned and taken with him. 

Finding Places to Gather

In Neil’s path to recovery and healing, he continued to turn towards his familiar practices of Buddhism and meditation. He has also gained a deeper appreciation for the importance of community, especially in light of COVID-19. Seeing how others were engaging in their lives with brilliance and creativity was a reminder to Neil of the same resilience and wisdom that lived inside himself. 

Meditation can offer something to heal trauma, Neil believes, but he also agrees that sitting in silence can be overwhelming for trauma survivors. His advice is to respect that experience of overwhelm as a message that meditation isn’t the right tool at that moment. While meditation works for some people, other practices may feel safer and more effective, depending on the time. Neil says that this was part of his own experience, even with his deep connection to meditation. 

Inspiring Others With Meditation

For someone who’s never meditated before, Neil suggests perusing the local library, YouTube, or podcasts for resources until something resonates with you, “like grocery shopping: just check things out based on what speaks to you.” There are many different languages and traditions of meditation, so he encourages listeners to explore what works for them.

Neil offers resources of his own through his online communities. The Living Meditation Network is a free community that offers many of the meditation resources he mentions, such as writings, guided meditations, questions, and discussion boards. This and his subscription-based community are meant to be opportunities for people to gather, learn, and give and receive encouragement and inspiration weekly. 

Listen in to learn more about what happens when we meditate, online meditation communities, and Neil’s future book and online curriculum. 

Today I’m talking with Kimberly Bell, inspirational speaker, minister, and mentor. She’s the author of “Epitome of Kimberly: A Memoir of Finding Hope & Resilience.” She has 2 degrees, in Human Development and Psychology and in Theology. Through her books and talks, she inspires others to never give up hope and inspire others to solve societal issues. Today, she is here to speak loud about having the courage to be yourself and embrace your life. 

Learning to Choose Herself

Kimberly describes her background of abandonment and abuse. She experienced abandonment from her parents and all forms of abuse. The ‘broken foundation’ started for her when her parents, who were in a physically abusive relationship, left her to be raised by her aunt without explanation. As an adult, she had to accept that it happened but she was not responsible for things adults did to her. 

She explains how the abandonment and abuse she went through influenced her experience with relationships in adulthood. She always put other people first and focused on what she could offer others, not vice-versa. Eventually, she learned, “I had to choose me and I had to choose my healing.” From there, she began to break the cycle. 

Breaking Generational Cycles

Kimberly says that the process of learning love was hard and tiring. As an African American woman, she wasn’t encouraged to embrace therapy for her mental health. She had a moment when, in a library, she asked God what direction to go, and looked up and saw a sign for a therapist. She called the number and broke the generational taboo in order to start her healing process. 

Several years later, Kimberly is single and the mother of 4 daughters and a grandmother. She uses the life lessons she’s learned to live in the moment and choose herself. By being true to herself and continuing to push through challenges, she was able to teach her children a better way and is proud to see that they have all had an easier journey. 

Courageous Enough to Choose You

Kimberly shares that whenever she told others her life story, she was always met with the response, “That sounds like a book.” She was receiving the signs to share her story but had to build the courage to go all the way back into her trauma to record it. She soon took the initiative, and states, “You don’t have to accept or be defined by your past.” Why wouldn't she share her story and try to help someone else? 

Kimberly’s memoir lays out the foundations of her life and the genuine truth of the lessons she’s learned. She hopes that readers will see how she found her voice and be able to do the same. “Through God, nothing’s impossible, but we have to go through the process." Kimberly hopes listeners feel empowered and courageous enough to put themselves first and begin their healing.

Listen in to learn about Kimberly’s journey with forgiveness, how she helps her community, and how to find resources and mentoring on her website. 

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Today I’m talking with Donna Wayles, a wife, mother, and abuse survivor who shares her story of escaping domestic abuse with God’s love and grace. She’s the author of “I'll Pray for You: A Christian Woman's Guide to Surviving Domestic Violence” and a self-described domestic violence subject expert. Today, she is here to speak loud about being a thriver after domestic abuse and finding life and hope after abuse.

Donna met her abuser through a church picnic when she was in her early 20s. She describes that the pressure from the church encouraged her to get married early and young, within 7 months of meeting her then-husband. Though she had been sensitive to the physical abuse he began to demonstrate, she interpreted his controlling behaviors as ‘protectiveness’ and being a sign of how much he loved her. 

As the abuse escalated, however, Donna began reaching out to different avenues for support. Another wife from church dismissed her concerns about her husband’s possessiveness and talking with her pastor only put her in more danger after the pastor talked with Donna’s husband privately. One night after a conference, Donna was calling a friend for help when her abuser physically threw her out of the house with her 16-month-old daughter and the clothes on her back. 

Donna, at the time, struggled to understand what she had done wrong, having followed the teachings of her family and her faith. The first line in her book, “How did my life get to be like this?” reflected this. However, she had to eventually learn—through counseling and other modalities—that the abuse she had undergone was not a reflection of herself but of her abuser. Realizing this was the beginning of her healing journey. 

One night, while pondering what to make for dinner, Donna realized that she could eat whatever she wanted. She could wear and do whatever she wanted as an individual without worrying about what he wanted. She felt like a second life had just dawned on her and she was determined to live that life. She is now remarried and her daughter, 18, is thriving in school studying graphic art. 

Donna’s book, “I’ll Pray For You,” was inspired by her domestic violence victim advocate who told her, “The best revenge to your abuser is living well.” Donna published her own story as a way to be her best self and also do for others what wasn’t done for her. She describes her process with forgiveness as not a one-time decision, but a journey. She’s learned that bitterness won’t serve her and has found peace in using her experience to help others. 

“Resilience is stubbornness, persistence, tenacity,” Donna says. Being determined to live her own life helped pull her out of those dark times. As someone raised to help others, she wishes she could have told her past self to be patient and to put herself first before trying to give herself away to others. She hopes readers of her book and listeners know that leaving an abusive situation is not the end and, in fact, there is something much better on the other side. 

Listen in to learn more about what modalities Donna used in her healing journey, what makes her feel empowered, and her experience with self-esteem and abuse. 

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Today I’m talking with Debbie Terry, an author, speaker, and survivor of domestic abuse. She’s the host and owner of the Restoration Warrior Women’s Conference where she gathers women from all walks of life to share their stories and faith and help others overcome their obstacles. Today, she’s here to speak loud about her new book and offer support for other survivors who have yet to step out from their situations. 

Speaking Up After Trauma

Debbie explains that she wasn’t aware of the extent of her own abuse because of the love she had for her husband at the time. After a nasty divorce and the separation from her children, her journey in healing began. She explains that factors such as pride and shame encouraged her to stay in her situation but ultimately had to accept that the other individual wasn’t going to change. 

Debbie is now remarried to the love of her life, but she describes that she at first pushed him away because she wasn’t used to the level of love and treatment he was giving her. The scars and layers from her abuse ran deep and she had to go back, with God’s help, and heal them one at a time. As her husband says, she had to “let it go like water off a duck’s back.” She did this by listening to that small inner voice and respecting it as well as her own judgment. 

How to Choose Forgiveness

Debbie says that her true healing began when she realized that she couldn’t control what others did. Their actions were not a reflection of her but of themselves. Forgiveness is the biggest piece of healing, in her opinion. When you’re able to forgive a person that hurt you, you’re giving yourself freedom. 

A friend told Debbie, “You can either be bitter or you can be better,” and she knew that she wanted the latter, so she chose forgiveness for her abuser rather than holding resentment. She instructs listeners to forgive and then stop revisiting and move forward. Like pruning a rose, letting go of those wilted pieces make room for new growth. 

Sharing Her Story

Debbie’s latest book is called “When Love Wasn’t Enough: Because I Loved Him.” Her book was published in March, but she has been working on it (with God’s guidance, she says) for several years. She says that God encouraged her to write the story, and though she initially ignored the call, writing it was a healing process for her. 

Debbie prioritizes helping and connecting with others and hopes that the readers of her book feel seen and know they aren’t alone. She started her women’s conference for similar reasons, which is going on its 5th year and shares the details on her website. Debbie hopes listeners feel encouraged to pray and discover what their next steps are in starting a new journey after trauma and abuse. 

Listen in to hear more about the effects of alienation in divorce and families, finding the right person, and what future plans Debbie has for the next five years. 

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Today I’m talking with Amy Stein, an herbalist, energy medicine educator, and trauma-informed breathwork facilitator. Her mission is to educate and empower the highly empathetic so that they can live in harmony with their body and their environment by working with Mother Nature’s intelligence rather than against it. Today she’s here to speak loud about choosing what is best for our bodies and the intersections of the body’s intelligence and empathy. 

Treating the Root Cause

Amy shares that throughout her life she often felt misunderstood and not honored when it came to her body. Symptoms such as migraines and blackouts were dismissed or she was told, “Your body is broken, take this pill.” These wounds and limiting beliefs followed her into adulthood as the ailments only increased. 

Her journey began while teaching geriatric patients coping skills such as meditation as an alternative to medication. However, Amy didn’t fully understand the concepts she was teaching and decided to educate and empower herself. The body isn’t a car; you can’t just treat the symptoms, but must tackle the root cause. It’s a life-long journey, Amy explains, but she says that you won’t be led astray if you trust your intuition. 

The Wisdom of Plant Medicine

Amy’s intuition guided her to plant medicine and she began learning about the different affinities plants have to support her body. She regularly forages and utilizes the innate intelligence of Mother Nature. The earth is resilient and adapting, and Amy has found power in communing with nature and taking advantage of that symbiotic relationship. 

The hardest part about plant medicine, Amy says, is learning what works best for you. However, it’s very easy to get started. She cautions listeners to be mindful of what and where they’re picking but even plants in your city or backyard can be beneficial. Herbs such as thyme, lemon balm, and lavender also have great healing properties and can be easily grown indoors.

Getting into the Body with Breathwork

Amy explains that breathwork is a great and easy way to reconnect with the body. Some people find it more accessible than meditation because it invites thoughts and feelings to be processed and released. You don’t need to go into breathwork with an agenda; the body has its own agenda while the mind is quiet. 

Amy offers breathwork for others through coaching and weekly group sessions. She believes that breathwork can be transformative and easy and it’s the modality that has helped her the most in her healing journey. Through her services, she teaches others to show up for themselves and hopes that listeners know that they have the answers within. They are not broken and are encouraged to choose what’s best for them and their bodies. 

Listen in to learn about spiritual energy and intuition, homeopathy, and how to start foraging in your own backyard. 

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Today I’m talking with Greg Wieting, a healer and entrepreneur who helps others heal from anxiety, depression, trauma, and chronic pain with his unique blend of trauma neuroscience, energy medicine, and somatic and mindfulness practice. He developed this framework, Prisma, during his own healing journey and is here to speak loud about working with pain in a significant way. 

Rising Above Chronic Pain

What Greg shares with clients is what he’s learned from his own 25 years of healing. He has dealt with muscular-skeletor difficulties his entire life but didn’t seek healing until finding reiki work after college. That moment was something he never realized he had been looking for and it sent him on a journey to discover more healing modalities for himself and others. 

Greg says that his early experiences taught him, “I’m not my pain.” Our lives are often organized around pain or trauma, but he realized that this didn’t have to be the case. After 8 months in India, he studied bodytalk, yoga, and ayurveda, which led him to teaching trauma-informed healing at a friend’s school. 

Somatic Healing Practices

Greg explains that ‘working somatically’ is getting in touch with the body’s experience and making contact with the subconscious that’s stored in the body. Harboring pain and trauma can stop the ability to feel ourselves and in turn lose presence and agency. Developing a somatic relationship with our body helps us know who we are. 

Greg describes the process of tuning back in with the body as metabolizing trauma as you gradually digest feelings that were at one point too much to touch. Reiki is one of the practices that broadens the window of tolerance in the body, he explains, giving us the capacity to thaw out and process. 

Accessing Deeper Healing

Part of learning how to heal the nervous system is learning how to develop psychological safety, Greg says. His advice for starting is to locate a safety resource to act as a foundational baseline, such as a comforting memory. Accessing a safe memory and replaying it through all five senses allows the brain to develop a new baseline. 

Neuroplasticity is an important part of Greg’s teachings. By freeing up space in the brain by setting a new, safer baseline, clients and students are able to imagine new possibilities. “Imagination creates the structure of our brain.” He adds that healing is a continuous journey and that he hopes listeners don’t do it alone, as he believes that deeper healing happens relationally. 

Listen in to learn Greg’s tips for individual healing, meditation, and his online course and community. 

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Today I’m talking with Jimmy Clare, a motivational speaker, autism advocate, and author. He’s the founder of ‘Crazy Fitness Guy’ and became a speaker after overcoming his own personal struggles in life. He had been told he wouldn’t be able to walk without braces, bullied, and undergone 9 surgeries, including 3 in one day. Today, he is here to speak loud about proving naysayers wrong.

Growing Up With Autism

Having autism affected Jimmy in many aspects of life. He didn’t reach many milestones as a kid, though he doesn’t like the idea of ‘milestones’ as they imply that he was behind in some way. When he was a child, a friend of his mother’s told her, “Don’t worry about Jimmy not talking at the moment because later in life he’ll never shut up.” In a way he was right, as Jimmy is now a professional speaker. 

Many of Jimmy’s struggles stemmed from school. Bullying was rampant and there was less understanding and acceptance for autism at the time. He recalls not being supported or understood by the school district, which often exacerbated situations. He’s thankful that there is more awareness and resources for autism now than there was then because of the shortcomings of his school and community in supporting him. 

Finding His Path in Life

As a child, Jimmy didn’t understand why he was being bullied. He recounts the instances of bullying starting out small and escalating. He would be asked questions that other kids knew he wouldn’t be able to answer, as someone in special education, and the humiliation and rejection continued. Students even risked paralyzing him when they would hit him on the back of the neck because of his spinal stenosis. 

Jimmy’s physical condition also brought its own challenges, though many of which he’s been able to adapt to. Despite what doctors thought, he never needed braces or crutches. He’s able to drive and is pursuing his associate’s degree in college. Despite his unique challenges, Jimmy has been adamant in proving others wrong. 

Spreading His Story

Jimmy started producing content through his ‘Crazy Fitness Guy’ website, and later created a podcast in order to produce something new. The podcast has been up for 2 years. He has also dabbled in Zoom and is now live-streaming. He loves to speak and has appeared on more than 130 podcast episodes. When faced with challenges in business, Jimmy has learned not to throw things out the window, but to continue trying something new in order to find the right balance. 

On his podcast, Jimmy talks about fitness, nutrition, self-help and more, specifically for autistic people. He’s had amazing guests such as authors, motivational speakers, and nutritionists. The joy of hearing that his content has helped other people has kept him going, and he’s reached many goals of his own, such as being featured in a magazine. 

Jimmy hopes that listeners know that autism is not a disease and it does not have to be cured—and that labels do not define who you are. He recommends resources such as the Autism Society, which provides reliable education and information. 

Listen in to learn more about Jimmy’s experience with technology and media studies, how he balances multiple forms of content creation, and his future plans.