Speak LOUD

Today I’m talking with Sean Singleton, a good friend of mine for over 15 years. He is an entrepreneur and automotive shop owner from Starboys Auto, who is here to share more of his story in his first ever podcast experience. Today, he’ll be speaking loud about overcoming your situation, no matter what it is, and creating your own life regardless of the hand you were dealt.

Life Without Stability

When Sean was eight, his parents went through a divorce, which was when he learned that his father was not actually his father, but his stepdad. The trauma of that realization and the splitting up of his family pushed Sean into a rebellious era, where his built-up anger and resentment lacked guidance and support. With free reign and no discipline, he was often causing trouble, such as vandalism, theft, breaking into cars, and later drugs. 

The bad choices continued to escalate from junior high and into high school. Sean continued breaking into cars and abusing harder drugs, such as meth, and was on what he called a ‘path to destruction.’ He sold LSD and acid in 10th grade and was at the time one of the biggest dealers in the state. Many of the people he surrounded himself with were older, negative influences who contributed to the bad environment he found himself in. What Sean says hurts the most is the impact he had on others. He was always a leader figure among peers and would often suck other people into the same circles that he was in. 

Receiving a Wakeup Call

Sean had a few positive experiences through Job Corps while in high school, but by the time he graduated he still hadn’t fully separated himself from the bad influences in his life. At 19 and 18, he and his girlfriend were expecting their first child, but Sean wasn’t done getting in trouble. He was working as a handyman and doing road repair on the side, and after biting off more than he could chew, he was charged with 7 felonies that included burglary and identity theft.  

Sean was ultimately charged with 2 of the 7 original felonies, and spent 45 days in jail. Right before going to jail, his baby was born. He recounts the turning point in his life being when his girlfriend would bring his child to visit him while in jail. He knew how difficult it had been for him to grow up without a dad, and he didn’t want that for his own child. The experience changed him and he still counts his blessings everyday as an adult, knowing that he could have been far less lucky and ended up on a much different path in life.  

Changing Your Environment

Sean believes that we are all a product of our environment. As a kid, he had no one to point him in the right direction, but having his own kid made him step up and change that. He says that having his daughter saved his life, as he would have continued on the same reckless path he was on before. He is grateful for his past as it has allowed him to become the person he is today, which includes being a great dad. 

Some people don’t have the same wakeup call that Sean did, or don’t answer it. But anyone, at any point, can decide that they want to be different. “If you don’t like your environment, change it.” He believes that your mess is your message. People don’t always like to talk about their trauma or mistakes, but you never know how sharing your story might positively affect someone else. He hopes that listeners know that whatever their environment is, it doesn’t have to be their story. You can rewrite your story at any day if you take the action to. 

Listen in to learn more about Sean’s experiences in the Job Corps, leadership and entrepreneurship, and his advice for parents tuning in. 

Today I’m talking with Sara Im, who, after surviving a mass genocide in Cambodia that claimed 2 million lives, is a speaker and author of “How I Survived the Killing Fields.” She is a member of the Women’s Speaker Association and speaks to inspire listeners to thrive from pain to purpose, from corporate events to churches to schools. Today, she’s here to speak loud about never giving up on anything in life. 

Sara was born and raised in Cambodia, and was attending college at 21 when a military takeover in her country forced her out of the city and into the countryside to work in a labor camp. She experienced extreme exhaustion, sickness, and punishment for 4 years while forced to work in the rice fields. Often malnourished, Sara turned to prayer in her darkest moments, and clung to hope of seeing her family again. 

After four years, Sara recalls hearing noise in the distance that could have been gunfire or explosions. Though they didn’t know what was happening, the laborers—once 1000, and now around 300 people—were moved out of the camp and towards the jungle. Sara knew she had to do something drastic, so she took the chance and escaped with 3 friends. They ran into the jungle and walked for weeks back to Sara’s hometown, where she was eventually reunited with her family after seeing the devastation that had come to her home. 

After Cambodia was liberated, Sara recuperated for a year at home. She had no college to go back to, as most professors and educated people had been killed. After that year, her mother told her that she would have a better future in another country, and encouraged her to escape once more. Sara crossed the border from Cambodia to Thailand and found a refugee camp run by the UN. 

After registering, she searched for her single relative in the U.S. who would be able to help her get into the country—bringing her to Connecticut. Her relative was transferred before Sara ever arrived, but she was grateful for the church people who helped her settle, find a place to live, and learn English during the difficult transition. Soon, she was on her own two feet and able to bring her family to the U.S., as well. 

Sara was encouraged by many people to write a book after hearing her story. Once, during speaking, one woman in her group came to her crying, sharing with Sara that she had lost her teenaged son to suicide. Sara was shocked, having naively thought that all people in the U.S. would be happier, and thought that if she could write her story, she could help change people’s minds about taking their lives. 

After publishing her book, Sara received many testimonials about how reading it changed people’s lives. “It’s all worth it,” she says, reflecting on the change her book has done for people. “Struggling four years in the rice field, now I can save somebody’s life.” Beyond writing, she still continues as a professional speaker. Sara hopes listeners know to always H.O.P.E.: Have Only Positive Expectations. Things always change. 

Listen in to learn more about  Sara’s experience with writing and publishing, her religious awakening, and what her plans for the next 5 years are.

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Today I’m talking with Seph Dietlin, a psychic and hypnotherapist, who, after experiencing a spiritual awakening in 2002, has set out to help others create their own reality and experience unity. He is constantly downloading and sharing knowledge through his intuitive online course, content, his podcast “Talk to My Angels” and more. Today, Seph is here to speak loud about how to utilize your trauma to become a conscious creator of your own reality.

Soul Contracts and Agreements

Seph explains that everybody has the ability to tune in to a higher consciousness and unlock their intuition. It is an amazing tool that can be unlocked easily, even after we are taught to shut it down as we grow up. Seph describes this process as remembering something we already knew, which will allow the skill to unravel and unfold on its own time. 

Seph also talks about soul contracts and agreements that we make before coming into this world. This could be spouses we’ll meet or children that we’ll bring into the world as well as hardships that we agree to go through in life before being born in order to meet our higher mission. This way of thinking gives power back to us, in Seph’s opinion, and in his work in hypnotherapy he utilizes this concept when working with patients who are exploring their own soul agreements. 

Creativity and Higher Consciousness

Seph’s advice for people wanting to connect with a higher self is to recognize that we are often in that higher brainwave state. ‘The flow,’ ‘the zone,’ and many other words describe what Seph is referring to. Creativity is an amazing portal: cooking, painting, or creating in any way is a great access point for higher state awareness, and from there that higher conscious state can be leveraged for healing. 

Seph also instructs listeners to pay attention to their imagination. Imagination is a portal through which our higher consciousness speaks to us. This can include dreams, ideas we visualize, and manifestation. Clairvoyance is simply allowing yourself to interpret what comes into the mind.

Learning On Earth School

Events that happened—and are still happening—in 2020 have moved humanity towards an expanded, creative state, in Seph’s opinion. Collective experience and collective trauma pushes humanity towards greater understanding of ourselves and the universe. On ‘earth school,’ what we are all learning is how to create our own reality. These skills can be honed with practices such as paradigm shifting, numerology and synchronicity.

Meditation is a great place to start for those who want to channel and tap into a higher state. Seph explains that to enter the state, rather than trying to force it, instead remember the state of flow that comes from doing something creative or even just stepping into that shower. We are always expanding from challenges and learning from them, and every hardship is an opportunity for growth. 

Listen in to learn more of Seph’s beginnings in hypnotherapy and intuition, the history of hypnotherapy, 3d and 5d living and astral traveling. 

Today I’m talking with Lion Goodman, who, after a near-death experience at 26, has spent 5 decades researching the nature of consciousness, spirituality, and healing. He has instructed more than 500 healers, therapists, and coaches around the world in trauma-informed therapeutic coaching. His teaching methods have been vetted by the International Coaching Federation and the Association for Coaching. Today he is speaking loud about the role of beliefs in our life and the infrastructure of the human mind. 

Brushing Close to Death

Lion graduated with a degree in Consciousness Studies but ended up as a traveling salesman in order to make money. On one trip, he had stopped to help a man whose car had broken down in the middle of the Mojave Desert. After 3 days of gaining each other’s trust, the man attempted to kill Lion and shot him in the head. 

After many hours, Lion was able to talk to and understand the man, and they came to an agreement: the man would not kill him and Lion would not turn him in. He later went to the hospital alone, where he was told that he was very lucky to have survived—which he says was not luck, but his being blessed. He had been ready to accept death but now wanted to grow and teach from this experience. 

The Discovery of Self

When Lion went through his near-death experience, he recognized that he was not simply his physical body. There was a him that was not his body, and as he says, most people who have been in a near death experience are not afraid of death, knowing that there is something on the other side. 

When people ask the question of ‘Who am I?’ Lion explains how he went about answering that question for himself. As a kid he read and learned as much as possible, and approached his studies as an exploration of who he was. He attended over 100 spirituality workshops and training as an adult. Beliefs are the core of the mind, he says, and finding out who you are is a discovery of the core self beneath those layers of belief. Experience is the best way of informing yourself of who you are. 

Healing Past Traumas

Negative experiences like a broken arm, Lion says. Physical wounds can heal and become stronger as they scar, but injuries of the mind are often not given the chance to heal as the brain forces them down and away. Healing from trauma or bad experiences is simply processing those events in a safe way. But the beliefs we develop from trauma are often what damages us the most, not the trauma itself. 

Lion explains that we can also carry trauma not just from our own pasts, but from generations before us and potentially even past lives. The environment of friends, family, and media can all be traumatizing. Humans are constantly trying to float above the pool of trauma of our culture, which can include things we’ve never experienced personally, such as slavey and native genocide. Lion says that we have to start with ourselves as an act of “clearing this on behalf of previous generations.”

Listen in to learn more about Lion’s books and his multi-dimensionality practices, as well as his approach to rapid, deep-belief healing. 

Today I’m talking with Victoria Cuore, an advocate, speaker, best-selling author and CEO of A Contagious Smile. She is a survivor of domestic abuse and has undergone over 100 operations as a result of the struggles she overcame. Today, she’s here to speak loud about fighting for yourself and acknowledging that everyone can get lost in the journey of life. 

Recovering From Domestic Violence

Victoria always knew that she wanted to be a wife and a mother, which was the card that her abuser played in order to drive her into a toxic situation. After pushing her to get married, the abuser began physically assaulting Victoria once she was pregnant. Even as the abuse escalated, he continued to deny and gaslight her, to the point that Victoria even doubted herself. 

Victoria underwent dozens of surgeries and operations and is still affected by a history of abuse. At one point while in the ICU, she was told that she had a 2% chance of making it through the night. Then her daughter was born early, and Victoria found the strength to fight for her child. She soon received a restraining order on her abuser and terminated all parental rights. 

Letting Go of Hatred After Abuse

Much of Victoria’s healing process has stemmed from her daughter. She describes her daughter as a ray of light who is an advocate for other special needs peers. Victoria was encouraged to become an advocate both for those with special needs and abuse survivors and stopping the cycle of abuse with herself and her daughter. 

Victoria still has ongoing surgeries that are a direct effect of her abuse. Some of the injuries were exacerbated by her refusing medical treatment in favor of treating her daughter’s needs first. Despite all of this, she says she has forgiven her abuser and prays for him to this day. Victoria explains that allowing an abuser to hold place in your heart through hatred continues to give them power over your life. Letting go of hatred and forgiving opens up the heart for more love. 

Spreading Light and Positivity

“Every smile has a story,” Victoria says, “and we want to share yours.” This is the goal of her company, A Contagious Smile. She seeks to share light, inspiration, and positivity. A smile is always contagious no matter what it looks like. Who doesn’t want to smile? Victoria’s website shares resources for those with special needs and people suffering from domestic violence. She also uses her platforms to provide support groups, fundraises, life skill classes, and more. 

Victoria believes in a world that’s full of love, laughter, and life. She encourages listeners to not carry negativity and hate in their heart when they could be carrying love in that place, and she hopes that those tuning in know that they are worth fighting for. 

Listen in to learn more about Victoria’s resources for domestic violence survivors, podcasts for teens and adults, and her work breeding emotional support and service animals. 

Today I’m talking with Debby Kruszewski, a coach, consultant, and author of “Soul Meets Body: Six Degrees of You” and several other books. After being ‘dream crushed’ by corporate America, Debby decided to listen to her inner voice, leave the corporate world, and begin writing. Today she’s here to speak loud about self worth, respect, and integrity. 

Being Dream Crushed

As a woman in an executive position in corporate America, Debby had dealt with more than her fair share of sexism in the workplace. One instance stands out to her, when a recruiter belittled and gaslit her about being a woman in her job position. At a certain point, Debby had to stop and reflect. Who she was was more important than a job. So, she left the corporate world, and began to write. 

Debby never thought about becoming a writer before, but when she left her job, she heard a voice telling her, “Leave, and I’ll take care of it.” She listened, and the storylines began pouring out. She fell in love with the characters who were mirroring her own life and experiences and wanted to share those moments and lessons with others. 

Choosing Self Respect

“How many situations is it easier to take the hit for the greater good?” Debby asks. When faced with uncomfortable, disrespectful, or belittling behavior, oftentimes we think it’s better to suck it up and keep the peace. However, she explains that there is a difference between being a nice person—and being abused. Debby encourages listeners to leave the situations in which you’re treated this way and find something better, as she did. 

Finding the courage to stand up to people treating you wrongly is not an overnight process, Debby explains. Recognition, self-healing, and forgiveness are the ‘first draft’ — from there, it’s a long path, but incredibly worth it. Acknowledging the situations where, how, and why you were being treated wrongly allows you to unveil what’s holding you back. Forgiving yourself for the things you weren’t able to do at the time will release the weight you’re holding onto from those situations, and let you identify what you want, so that you can start building that path to your dreams. 

Rising Above Negativity 

Much of Debby’s teachings revolve around self-confidence and self-worth. One little step at a time, she believes that anyone can rise above and overcome the things that are putting them down. Even in a powerless phase, you have the autonomy to say goodbye to negativity and release the things you couldn’ control. Inner strength and confidence comes out of refusing to let negativity dictate your life. 

Debby hopes that listeners know that everyone deserves to live a wonderful life and that this conversation helps people know that they are all capable of getting out of situations that no longer serve them. 

Listen in to learn more about Debby’s inspirational blog, how her books offer a look at truth and tragedy, and her exclusive offer for Speak Loud Podcast listeners. 

Today I’m talking with Mandy Capehart, author, speaker, and certified grief and life coach. She’s the founder of the restorative grief project, an online resource for grievers looking for growth and healing. Today, she’s here to speak loud about grief literacy, and the language needed to navigate grief for ourselves and others. 

The Unalignment of Grief

Mandy recounts having lost someone to death almost every year of her life. While she was grieving almost constantly, she says that she wasn’t doing so in a good way. She coped with humor and by minimizing herself to service others. The first eye opener came in high school, when her senior class shared a loss of another classmate and Mandy began to realize that not all of the methods used to move through grief were effective. 

In 2016, Mandy’s mother died 4 months after being diagnosed with cancer. Mandy had just had a baby and had planned on her mother being with her to help take care of her grandchild. After taking the time needed to process, Mandy began exploring what she recognized as the unalignment of thoughts, emotions, body, and spirit when someone is grieving. Since then, she’s been speaking publicly and educating herself and others. 

Be Heard, Known, and Loved

Part of Mandy’s goal is teaching people how to be heard—and how to listen to others. Bearing witness, as she explains it, is more than just holding space for someone. It’s experiencing the honest truth of what they’re going through without judgment or advice on how to ‘fix’ a situation. 

For someone going through grief, Mandy says it’s important to know yourself and your support group. Who would you call if you need an ear or a hug and who would you call if you need someone to organize your linen closet? It’s okay to be specific. The same goes for supporters. If there’s something that you can offer, let your friend know. Trauma survivors know how tough they are. Sometimes they need the space to be heard, known, and loved rather than having someone try to fix the situation. 

Grieving Outside of Church

When Mandy’s mother died, Mandy had been leading a worship at church. After that loss, she didn’t know how to work through her feelings within the faith. Many people within the faith minimized her pain by supporting a religious agenda or their own beliefs. She stepped down as a worship leader, knowing she couldn’t lead herself, let alone others. 

Mandy’s book came from this time of reflection and exploration of what faith means in this new world. She realized that the church did not know how to support her and also noticed that it wasn’t able to support people through the pandemic. Her book offers a guide for people within the church realms to move past scriptures and lean into the practical element with daily prompts and quotes and practical resources to revisit whenever needed. 

Listen in to learn more about the Restorative Grief Project, the cyclical nature of grief, and how to start talking about grief in your life. 

Today I’m talking with Donna Tashijan, a life mastery coach and founder of the Vibrant Living International nonprofit. Donna specializes in turning baggage into luggage, accelerating transformations for people across the globe. She’s the author of 4 books and is known for having a “knack for turning fear into excitement” through speaking and coaching. 

Finding Support Early

At 14, Donna was assaulted and became pregnant, giving birth to her first child by 15. The judgment of teenage pregnancy caused feelings of shame, resentment, and anger. She developed a fear of failing as a mother before even starting her own life and had to learn to rise above. 

For someone who might be in a similar situation, Donna says that she wishes she had spoken to herself differently. Self-talk can be an important tool for healing. She also encourages people to look for support, and that there is more help available than you might think. 

Helping Women’s Transformations

The focus of Donna’s nonprofit, Vibrant Living International, is “to help people to rise above the pain and disappointment that life can bring so that they can live the life of their dreams with confidence and ease.” Vibrant Living was established 10 years ago when Donna was considering what she could do that would both support her and 

Donna has been a life coach for more than 25 years, but has always been a supportive ally for friends in need. Her oldest daughter has told her that for as long as she could remember, “women have been on the couch crying and you were helping them.” Through Vibrant Living International, her podcast, and 4 books, Donna has shared that advice and care with thousands. 

Turning Baggage Into Luggage

As a life coach, Donna has developed the phrase, ‘turning baggage into luggage.’ ‘Baggage-thinking’ includes thoughts and feelings of low self-esteem, vengeance, resentment, negative self-talk, and so on. These are legitimate and valid feelings, Donna says, but luggage-thinking is what brings about change. 

‘Luggage-thinking’ happens when someone begins to see their past or trauma not as their entire life story, but as a single chapter, page, or even paragraph. At 15, Donna felt like what had happened to her was the end of the world, but now she stresses the importance of looking for the gifts in the pain. How will this help me grow, now? It’s a gift wrapped in sandpaper, Donna says, not a pretty bow. 

Listen in to learn Donna’s 4 steps for transformation, what modalities she uses for healing, and her future plans for herself and her business. 

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Today I’m talking with Dr. Debi Silber, founder of the Post-Betrayal Transformation Institute, holistic psychologist, and personal development expert. She’s a best-selling author and award-winning speaker, appearing on Fox, CBS, and TedEx, and is dedicated to helping people heal from past betrayals. 

Learning the Effects of Betrayal 

Dr. Silber has been in the business for 30 years, starting with a focus on health and personal development. After a series of betrayals, she decided to return to school for her Ph.D., knowing that something had to change. Her degree was in Transpersonal Psychology, in which she did a study on betrayal and what it does physically and emotionally.

Dr. Silber has made and confirmed three discoveries: betrayal feels different than other traumas, such as disease and death; a collection of common symptoms make up what is now post-betrayal syndrome; and, by healing the betrayal entirely, you can come out the other side an entirely changed person. 

The Stages of Betrayal

In the Post-Betrayal Transformation Institute, Dr. Silber and her certified coaches help clients identify and move through the stages of betrayal. Most people get stuck in Stage 3, where survival instincts take over after the build-up and the trauma itself. Small self benefits of having sympathy or someone to blame are often what keep people in this stage. 

Stage 4 involves willingly moving on and finding a new normal. This, Dr. Silber explains, already begins to turn down the stress response and mitigate the damage done by Stage 3. Then, in Stage 5, the transformative rebirth happens as you’re finally able to see more clearly and feel grounded. 

The Transformation of Overcoming Betrayal

Dr. Silber wants listeners to know that betrayal trauma can be overcome. “Just because this has been your experience,” she says, “doesn’t mean it has to be your sentence.” Betrayal is just one chapter in someone’s entire life story. 

Dr. Silber describes how a completely new person emerges from Stage 5, after fully healing and embracing their new narrative. She’s seen new levels of health and relationships in the people who have passed through her institute. The beauty of betrayal, she believes, is in that transformation. 

Listen in to learn more about the effects of betrayal, the different healing processes after betrayal, and how to know if you have post-betrayal syndrome. 

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Learn more on the PBT website

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Today I’m talking with Sivan Hong, author and illustrator of the “Super Fun Days Books” series. Her work focuses on inspiring neurodiverse children in overcoming challenges with perseverance and bravery. Sivan is here to speak loud about the power and benefits of neurodiversity and how cool it is to be different. 

Supporting Kids with Neurodivergence

Sivan believes that books are incredibly powerful tools in helping someone feel that they’re not alone. The structure of her books was based on social stories that are often used in special education, taking the educational framework and bringing it home for families. Sivan’s first book was published three years ago, based on a true story she shared with her oldest son. 

Sivan doesn’t want her children to grow up with the challenges that her generation did when it came to neurodivergence. Rather than seeing their struggles as a failure of their ability, she wants kids now to know that “Different is OK,” and know that they have the support they need. 

Identifying Neurodivergence Early

Sivan’s first two books featured her two sons, but her last two have had female characters. This was intentional, she explains, as girls are identified with ADHD much later in life than boys—in their middle age as opposed to a boy in second grade. Girls of color have the lowest level of diagnosis. Sivan hopes to help the underserved population of neurodivergent women by offering representation through her books. 

Rates of ADHD in adults have also been going up, Sivan explains, because of increased diagnoses in children. This was how she identified her own neurodivergence, seeking a diagnosis after seeing similarities between herself and her kids. Sivan believes the best way to help is to share the message with kids when they’re young so that they can bring confidence and self-understanding into their adult lives. 

Functioning With Neurodivergence

Life with neurodivergence is all about finding what works. Sivan shares that audiobooks opened up the world of literature for her after struggling with reading and spelling in school. As an adult, she’s developed her own unique structure that allows her to function day-to-day. 

Neurodivergence manifests itself in a spectrum and can look different from person to person. Sivan believes that a diagnosis alone can help with someone’s mental health: understanding and having a name for the way your brain works can give a sense of peace and clarity. She hopes that listeners know that there is power in being neurodiverse and that it is okay to be different. 

Listen in to hear the story behind Sivan’s first book, her upcoming projects, and where to seek out a medical diagnosis for neurodivergence. 

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Find Sivan’s work on her website

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