What I wish I had heard after my abortion:

"You get to decide what it means." 

☀️💛☀️

After abortion our thoughts can 
swirl
cycle
and torment us.

Birth control can’t be trusted.
People can’t be trusted.
I can’t be trusted.

Brains are always looking for a way to categorize and catalog our experience,
but as clever as they are 
they don’t always have our best interest in mind. 

We get to decide; 
we can put our brains to work for us 
not against us. 

We get to believe anything we want to believe.
We get to decide.

Abortion showed us what to trust
who to trust
and how to trust.

What I wish I had heard after my abortion:

“You couldn’t have been or done any more.”

☀️💛☀️

Everything that led you here was enough. 
Including you.

You are enough.
You did enough
asked enough
considered enough
tried enough.

I know this to be true because “enough” is a fallacy.

Enough is a lie we’re all striving to achieve
but the truth is
there is no enough. 
It doesn’t exist.

You couldn’t have been any more enough then
than you are now.

Enough looks like:
settling in and being
without comparison
without judgment
without disdain.

Only then will you find the freedom you desire for more.

What I wish I had heard after my abortion:

“Your thoughts will change over time.”

☀️💛☀️

Time doesn’t heal all wounds. 

Emotional pain after abortion is sourced in our thoughts. 
What we think is what we feel. 

In time, thoughts change.
Changing thoughts, changing feelings.

Tend to the gift that is your mind.
Your mind is where you will find peace;
your mind is where you will find freedom. 

Your mind is both the simplest,
and the most complex tool you have.
Use it wisely, or it will use you.

Feed it nourishing content,
surround it with loving company,
be patient with it,
but forever diligent.

You were programed to survive,
but you were born to thrive. 

What I wish I had heard after my abortion:

“It’s okay to be uncomfortable.”

☀️💛☀️

Comfort is a beautiful thing:
a resting place
a being place.

But not a growing place.

Comfort doesn’t expand you.
Discomfort is where you grow. 

Discomfort is a feeling
and it’s meant to be a part of your human experience. 

We are designed to break open before we bloom. 

Abortion cracks us open. 

It reveals to us 
—and to the world— 
a new part of who we are.

It shows us new way to love
new passages to journey
new places to go.

Discomfort is never the problem.

Our resistance to discomfort is what sabotages our human experience. 

Everything is here to show you something—
discomfort included.

What I wish I had heard after my abortion:

“Abortion is how you parented that child.”

☀️💛☀️

Each of our children are here to teach us something. 

Our relationship is mutual.

Some might tell you that your baby had no voice
but they are mistaken.

Souls who choose wombs marked
Pregnancy NOT Desired

know exactly what they are here for.

Anyone who tells you otherwise 
does not give enough credit to the spiritual or human experience. 

Not all pregnancies are meant to deliver breathing babies.

Some are testing grounds for souls dipping their feet in the human form. 
Some are meant to deliver fuller more expanded women. 

 

All pregnancies are opportunities for growth.

To be a parent is to choose love
even when it feels like the hardest thing in the world. 

Abortion is an expression of love.

What I wish I had heard after my abortion:

“You’re not that special.”

☀️💛☀️

It’s true.

And it’s great news.

I know you feel alone.
I know you feel unique.
I know you feel different.

But you’re not that special.
Not in that way. 

The complexity of your feelings
the loneliness

the confusion

it’s all normal and typical 
and expected.

What will make you special is how you rise.

Your strength
your story

your ability to turn darkness into light—

that’s what makes you special. 

Abortion isn’t special
but living purposefully and intentionally after abortion is more than special.

It’s exceptional.

You can choose to be exceptional.

What I wish I had heard after my abortion:

“Reunite with your body.”

☀️💛☀️

You lost touch when your mom told you 
you shouldn’t eat that third cookie at age ten.

You lost touch when your 
friends in middle school had 
less belly in their bikinis.

You lost touch when you told him
NO
and he fondled you anyway. 

You lost touch when all those
fertility treatments failed.  

Or maybe
you didn’t lose touch until you were blindsided 
by the unplanned pregnancy. 

Now is the time to let all of that go.

Not to forget it 
but to redefine it.

Now is the time to reunite.

Love her.

Caress her.

Whisper sweet nothings into every nook and cranny of her miraculous shape. 

She needs you now more than ever. 

 

She needs you to
rekindle the flame you had before the world started telling you lies.

It mattered when you chose abortion 
and it matters now. 

What you want will always matter.

Even when you don’t listen to it—
it matters.

There have been
and will be
times when what you want gets swept away in other people’s dreams
other people’s fears
other people’s beliefs
but that does not mean anything about you.

Be in a relationship with your own desire:
get to know her
play with her
dance with her
honor her.

Communicate with your wants 
as you would a child in your care. 

Listen.
Negotiate.
Collaborate.
And eventually see that she is her own energy.

You’ve been called here— 
not to manipulate and manage your desire
but to allow it
nurture it

and hold space for it to come to life.

For full show notes visit: www.amandastarkingsley.com/speaking-light-into-abortion/242

One to one coaching is available for listeners who want to deepen their healing work and build futures they are proud of. If you are someone who chose abortion and find yourself struggling, hiding, or wishing you could move beyond your experience, you can book a 1:1 coaching with me. We’ll talk about how you can start living the life you made your choice for. https://www.amandastarkingsley.com/find-your-way-to-freedom

Follow me on the socials @amandastarkingsley

For full show notes visit: www.amandastarkingsley.com/speaking-light-into-abortion/241

One to one coaching is available for listeners who want to deepen their healing work and build futures they are proud of. If you are someone who chose abortion and find yourself struggling, hiding, or wishing you could move beyond your experience, you can book a 1:1 coaching with me. We’ll talk about how you can start living the life you made your choice for. https://www.amandastarkingsley.com/find-your-way-to-freedom

Follow me on the socials @amandastarkingsley