Speaking Wrong At The Right Time

Article Link - https://thefederalist.com/2025/04/04/how-god-won-me-over-after-my-dad-abandoned-me/

I’m very thankful for Joy Pullman and The Federalist for being supportive of me over the past few years. They were gracious enough to publish an excerpt from my new book “The Children We Left Behind.”

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Despite being abandoned by my father as a child, if he were still alive, I would be open to starting a new relationship with him.

The last time I spoke to him, I was 21 years old and a new father. I wanted to tell him about his grandson, but he didn’t seem interested in talking to me.

Speaking Wrong At The Right Time is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

I told myself that I wouldn’t attempt to call him anymore, but I would never ignore his calls if he tried to reach me. Unfortunately, he never did.

As I’ve gotten older—and especially watching my son become an adult—I’ve thought a lot about mortality and the fragility of life. I often reflect on my mistakes as a young adult and my ambivalence toward my parents because I hadn’t yet learned to forgive.

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When you’re a child, you think adults have it all together, and you expect them to be more than they really are. That one time they screwed up sticks out in your head more than the hundreds of times they sacrificed for you.

I’ve tried to be the best father I possibly can be, but I’m sure there were a time or two when I unintentionally let my son down.

In an era where everyone thinks they’re always right yet holds higher expectations of behavior for others than they themselves can live up to, we are severely lacking in the area of giving grace and leaning on forgiveness.

Instead, we tell people who are having relationship issues to excommunicate others forever, but running from your problems doesn’t resolve them.

There are valid times to go no-contact with someone in your life, but the number of times I’ve heard poor reasoning for disconnecting completely from parents is shocking to me.

Social media is rife with terrible advice, encouraging people to see a single flaw in someone they love as enough reason to shut them out of their life.

I’m speaking from experience when I say this: You can’t resolve a relationship while simultaneously running from it. The only way to fix a fractured relationship is to confront it head-on with love and honesty.

And if the person you’re having issues with isn’t hearing you, then you should give them the grace of patience until they lower their guard enough to receive your message.

Recently, I was talking to a father who has been struggling to have a relationship with his children for years since his divorce. Every time he tries to get close to them, they push him away.

Just as much as it hurts children to be rejected, it hurts parents when they’re pushed away too. What I explained to him was that he should never give up and that he needs to be 100% accountable for his actions.

https://hiweave.com/item/despite-being-abandoned-by-my-father-as-a

From a parent’s perspective, you might have a hard time understanding why they’re angry with you, and their reasoning might not make sense from your point of view. Parents can often get stuck in the mud of factual differences compared to their children’s emotional interpretations.

If you’re in this situation and falling into the trap of debating their emotions, step away from it. It’s a losing battle to engage in this type of back-and-forth because, from the child’s perspective, it comes off as you disregarding their feelings.

Is the point to be right or to re-establish a relationship? I’ll never tell someone to take ownership of something they didn’t do, but you can acknowledge their emotions and how they’re feeling.

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Everyone wants to be accepted, and if you’re a child who feels rejected, the last thing you want is to experience the rejection of your emotional interpretations.

If you’re a parent striving to re-establish a relationship with your child, my suggestion is that you don’t give up on them. Work on their timeline and understand that if they’re rejecting your attempts, they just want you to feel the hurt they’re experiencing.

However, I believe that repeated attempts of love will eventually break down that hardened wall. Acknowledge their pain, apologize for what you did or what you could have done better as a parent, and give them time to absorb your efforts.

The reason I would give my father an opportunity to be in my life is that I understand we are all flawed, and many of us live with regrets—I know I do.

The way my life has turned out, I’ve come to understand the importance of giving others grace for their shortcomings and embracing forgiveness. I don’t harbor any anger toward my father because I can’t fix the past, and he’s no longer alive to potentially mend our broken relationship.

I forgave my father years ago because being angry at him never helped me grow as a man. I would give anything to have a chance to really get to know him, and it saddens me when I see people believing that tomorrow is guaranteed.

That person you cut off from your life might be gone tomorrow, and you won’t have a chance to resolve your differences. Personally, I wouldn’t want to carry that on my conscience, knowing I was too scared or resentful to fix a relationship with someone I loved.

Giving people grace is a blessing. It’s about time we bless the world.

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I was invited onto Zuby’s podcast to discuss my new book “The Children We Left Behind” and it was a great conversation between us. We really dive into my childhood experience and the parenting issues that I’m seeing happening throughout the Western world. Enjoy the conversation.

You can purchase the book on Amazon or Wrong Speak Publishing. Audio book should available in the coming weeks on all Audiobook platforms.

Speaking Wrong At The Right Time is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

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I’ve been on the Will Cain Show a couple of times previously but I’m very thankful that we were able to dedicate this entire segment to discussing the book and parenting. Enjoy the dialogue!

If you’d like to purchase a copy of my book, you can buy it on Amazon or directly from Wrong Speak Publishing.

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Today, my book "The Children We Left Behind" is officially released for public consumption. The focus of the book is to highlight present-day cultural issues and their connection to the growing problem of family separation throughout the Western world.

However, it’s not enough to point people to statistics and tell them it’s bad. Sometimes you need to give people an object of example for the argument you’re making.

Speaking Wrong At The Right Time is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

Through telling the story of my life growing up without my father and being intimately honest about my childhood experiences, I wanted my life story to be the example of what happens when one (or both) parents leave their children behind for their own selfish desires.

The title of the book perfectly describes what is happening around me in a variety of ways. Personally, I know several adults who are still suffering from what happened to them decades ago when they were children.

I’ve seen the impact on children of divorce who are still searching for acceptance from the parent who walked away from the family—grown men and women chasing the love they never got from their childhood in toxic relationships.

I’ve had several conversations with adults who, as children, were molested by the monsters their parents brought into their homes after their families were torn apart.

In the book, I present the story of my friend Cari Bartholomew, who was raped at the age of five, beaten constantly by her mother, and groomed to one day become a prostitute. She escaped her circumstances by turning herself in to the authorities and entering the foster care system until she aged out.

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I wrote this book for many reasons, but mainly to highlight our culture’s blind spot: the intersection of our selfishness and our willingness to sacrifice for our children.

When I wrote about these topics for various publications, like the New York Post, I would receive private messages and emails from people who had survived hellish childhood circumstances. They came from all racial and economic backgrounds.

I’ve spoken to fathers who are fighting a court system to see their children and to mothers who are saddened by their children’s fathers’ disappearance.

There is a sadness in our midst and an underlying pain that is difficult to manage.

This book isn’t about attacking but about healing through truth. It’s about showing appreciation for the parents who tried their best and giving a voice to the children who aren’t heard.

We can’t change what we don’t acknowledge, and I want this book to be the beginning of a healing process for some and a tool to prevent new parents from avoiding the sacrifices needed for someone more important than themselves: their children.

I want to highlight that this book was purposefully written in a non-racial and non-political fashion.

Those things muddy the conversation because children don’t care what party you vote for; they care about the choices you make to grow your relationship with them.

This isn’t just a book to read for yourself but one to give as a healing gift for someone you know who is hurting. It’s a cautionary tale of the ramifications of adult selfishness that you can give to someone who is about to make a detrimental choice that will negatively impact their children.

Thank you for your support, and I hope you enjoy the book!

Side Note: Audiobook is coming very soon.

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Speaking Wrong At The Right Time is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

Link to Excerpt - https://www.dailywire.com/news/let-jordan-neelys-story-be-a-warning-to-parents-we-must-always-put-our-children-first

The book officially comes out tomorrow, April 1, 2025. You can purchase your copy of “The Children We Left Behind” directly from Wrong Speak Publishing, Amazon, or your favorite book retailer.

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Excerpt Link - https://nypost.com/2025/03/30/opinion/i-was-devastated-when-my-father-abandoned-me-yet-liberals-make-excuses-for-broken-homes/

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Years ago, when I was writing my first book “Black Victim To Black Victor,” a friend told me that I should submit something to The New York Post.

My reply to them, “They’d never take me!”

Boy, was I wrong.

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I feel incredibly thankful that they’ve given me so many opportunities and support over the past few years but to have them publish an excerpt from my second book goes beyond words.

The book officially comes out tomorrow, April 1, 2025. You can purchase your copy of “The Children We Left Behind” directly from Wrong Speak Publishing, Amazon or your favorite book retailer.

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Speaking Wrong At The Right Time is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

I feel incredibly honored that Fox News decided to publish an excerpt from my upcoming book “The Children We Left Behind.”

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Yesterday was the celebration of my book coming out and I really hope it makes a positive impact in people’s lives.

You can read it here: https://www.foxnews.com/opinion/children-we-left-behind-a-reckoning-with-americas-growing-fatherlessness

If you’d like to purchase a copy, you can do so through Amazon or directly through Wrong Speak Publishing.

Side note: Audiobook IS coming very soon. Should be available in a week or two on all major audiobook platforms.

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Illegal immigration involves human suffering. It’s black market exploitation and, in some cases, actual slavery.

Defending illegal immigration also defends the trafficking of sex slaves, including children. It defends extortion accompanied by death threats if victims refuse to pay.

Speaking Wrong At The Right Time is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

When I first started following politics, the Democratic Party appeared to understand the importance of securing America’s borders.

It wasn’t just about protecting economic opportunities for our country’s citizens but also shielding the victimized from the dangers of crossing into America illegally.

However, since Trump descended the escalator with a hard stance against illegal immigration, Democrats have abandoned their public positions on preventing imported human suffering, seemingly just to oppose their greatest arch-nemesis.

Now, the political left’s stance on illegal immigration is to maintain the status quo so that someone can clean their toilets and cut their lawns cheaply.

Quite literally, Democratic politicians are using slaveholder logic to perpetuate the existence of cheap labor because they can’t envision a world where industries like agriculture are sustained without an exploited, illegal workforce that must live in the shadows of our society.

The debate, over a century and a half old, about who will pick our cotton if we emancipate the Negro slave has been resurrected and remixed into “Who will tend to our crops?”

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Blind hatred for Trump prevents them from seeing how they’re defending human suffering on a massive scale. With every rationalization to resist strengthening our borders, more tragedy befalls the migrants they claim to care about.

There is an unwillingness to acknowledge the ugliness of open borders because doing so would force them to realize how they’ve tacitly supported cartel extortion, the sexual violation of women and children, and murder.

In a 2021 NBC News report, David Sanabria, a Honduran national, and his daughter Ximena hoped to get help from Mexican coyotes to enter the United States when they were kidnapped by cartel members and held for ransom.

David watched as other America-bound hopefuls had limbs chopped off or were killed by cartel sociopaths if their family members didn’t pay the ransom. He even described being forced to eat the bodies of murdered people to conceal evidence of their deaths.

David’s brother, Denis Sanabria, thought his brother and niece were going to be murdered despite only raising half the demanded money. Their story of financial extortion is not rare; it’s industrialized.

In history class, we learned about slave ships filled with Africans coming to the Americas like cargo, with countless slaves dying before reaching landfall.

While we may not be carrying people in ships across the Atlantic today, Mexican cartels are stuffing men, women, and children into cars and the backs of container trucks, with little care for how many survive the journey.

What we saw during the Biden administration was unprecedented: entire communities were turned upside down as these same cartel organizations and foreign gangs had free rein to terrorize the imported underclass with impunity.

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https://hiweave.com/item/illegal-immigration-involves-human

At the peak of mass migration, places like Roosevelt Avenue in Queens, New York, were transformed into a third-world open criminal market, featuring an abundance of migrant prostitutes selling their bodies for economic survival—likely under duress, forced into sex slavery by gangs like Tren de Aragua.

So, when I see celebrities like Billy Baldwin attempt to manipulate the conversation about protecting our border and ending human suffering by focusing solely on preserving cheap manual labor, I can’t help but view them as modern-day pro-slavery activists.

James D.B. De Bow, editor of the influential Southern economic journal De Bow’s Review, wrote in an 1850 article, “Take away the labor of the slave, and the great staples of the South—cotton, rice, sugar, and tobacco—cease to be produced in quantities sufficient to supply the world… The ruin of the South is the ruin of the North.”

The modern Democratic Party and many of its base supporters echo De Bow’s irreverence for moral consistency and the abolition of human suffering, purely to maintain industrial comforts.

Let’s say you still disagree on mass deportations and strengthening the border. Then answer these questions for me:

How much slavery is acceptable to ensure your oranges are affordable?

What’s the suitable number of children to be kidnapped before you’d change your mind about having cheap landscapers?

What’s the ratio of migrant dreamers to sex slaves that you’d prefer?

How many relatives should discover loved ones were murdered because they were too poor to pay a cartel ransom before it becomes problematic to you?

Getting cheap nannies and lawn care comes alongside a system that perpetuates an endless stream of human suffering.

So, is it still worth it to you?

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I was once again invited onto Talk to speak with about Trump’s executive order to disband the Department of Education.

Enjoy the discussion!

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