SpeakUpJV

With everything going on it’s easy to become overwhelmed and stay stuck in a mental or emotional rut. It’s difficult to stay focused on the positive or on the future when it feels like there is no end in sight. However, this is important to do if we want to take back control of the things that bring us joy, such as our goals, hobbies, and aspirations. Maybe we’ve had to rearrange the way we do things in working towards them and getting creative with our methods. Building upon our focus is not easy but absolutely necessary if we want to continue moving forward. In this episode we touch upon the importance of building focus, how we stay focused here at SpeakUpJV, and other factors. Come take a listen and decide if you want to focus or fall.

Do you ever look around you and realize you’ve got a million things to do but don’t have the time to do it? Then you become overwhelmed because you realize everything on your to-do list is important and has a deadline? Before you click off this because you just got reminded of all that, it’s important that you stop right there. Take a deep breath and close your eyes. Enjoy this moment of tranquility no matter how short it is. What you did just now was practice mindfulness. Putting this into practice is so important because it reminds us that all we really have is this moment right here and that once it’s gone, it’s not coming back. Practicing mindfulness is not always easy but it’s something we can build up on and be more intentional about. Challenge yourself to try it whether it’s through meditation practices, affirmations, or self care. Sometimes we don’t really have a choice but to let go of the past because it’s gone and the future isn’t even here yet, so all we have is today. Sometimes, good enough has to be good enough. Sometimes, we just need to go with the flow of the day and simply be all in.

Boundaries. It seems like a simple word that’s easy to follow and easy to implement. However, if you’ve ever tried setting boundaries with anyone or even with yourself you know it’s a lot harder than just simply stating them. First of all, how do you even know what your boundaries are and where do you start? Did you know that there are different types of boundaries and that they fluctuate depending on the person or phase of your life? Did you also know that we can be really good with setting boundaries within our familial relationships but have none within our romantic relationships? These are a lot of questions to think about at once but also are some of the most important ones to ask especially if you’re constantly feeling drained or like you’ve spread yourself thin for others. Maybe you struggle with saying no to people because you’re afraid you’ll make them feel bad. Our discussion is all about that and the journey to having healthier relationships. So, what’s up in today’s episode? Boundaries.

Have you ever felt like someone was unattainable, “out of your league,” or like they could do no wrong? Has anyone ever made YOU feel like you had to be perfect all the time or like they see you with such high unrealistic standards? While there is nothing wrong with admiring people for their strength or the way they carry themselves, there is a problem when it involves no longer seeing the person as a human being. This is the danger of placing someone on a pedestal. This is when we see someone as an ideal or they see us in that way. Pedestals are dangerous and always lead to disappointment because they don’t allow us to see or be seen as flawed individuals. There is no room for mistakes, failures, or setbacks. This means that there is also no room for growth, maturity, and compassion. Pedestals normalize toxic behavior and constant dissatisfaction. Pedestals are detrimental because they don’t allow us to be real, see the real, and much less accept the real.

Sometimes we get so caught up in making things happen or “leveling up” that we forget to trust the process. We forget to trust that we are exactly where we are supposed to be in this moment. Out of every failure, every setback, every obstacle there is a lesson, there is growth. Sometimes life will remind us as well that we are actually not ready for that big step just yet, that there is more work to be done or a different route to be taken. Although it’s great and essential to have goals in life, it is also just as great and essential to be patient with the process. This does not mean get lazy and stop doing the work, it means having faith that we’ve done the best we can up until this very point. In order for anything in life to work out, we must realize that it is all a part of the process and the process is essential.

At times we try to figure out if a relationship aligns or contrasts with our values, or we compare our relationships to the ones we see online or even question if we’re going to be single our whole lives. But before you ask yourself any of these questions you need to ask yourself the most important question of all: is it worth it? Is it worth normalizing traumatic behaviors, bending over backwards for someone, or trying to make something fit that deep down we know doesn’t? This question should be applied to various relationships in our lives, especially as we grow and think about the long-term effects of those relationships. We shouldn’t be afraid to speak up about our needs and determine if someone’s values align with our own. Don’t be afraid to ask yourself, is it worth it?