SpeakUpJV

You would think giving and receiving advice is easy right? That when someone gives you advice it’s usually harmless or helpful? That they told you this because they have your best interest in mind? However, that’s not always the case. Not everyone is in the best position to give you advice, whether it’s someone secretly hating on you, or they don’t want to see you doing better than them, or they don’t understand your situation completely. This is why it’s important to practice discernment when seeking advice from others. On the other hand, we must also know when someone is only watching out for us and wants to see us succeed. Sometimes it is true that we need an outside perspective, some tough love to take the next step, or to see that something is no longer serving us. Sometimes we need people in our lives who will tell it like it is.

Yup that’s right. We’re going there today and we are calling everyone out. Have you ever convinced yourself that one little peek wouldn’t hurt? One little fake page? One little moment of curiosity that then turns into an investigation into what someone has been up to the past 8 months? Now you’re hurt, crying, calling your best friend because you decided to lurk? Well then come on over, this episode is for YOU! It’s ok we’ve all done it but we need to check ourselves and strive to move forward. If you’re looking to heal from the past and put your energy into the right places then the lurking has got to stop. Here we are judgment free and admit to our own experiences and current struggles with lurking. Trust us, we found out the hard way that lurking ain’t easy.

Welcome to our 50th episode! Sit down, relax, and enjoy some wine with us as we answer questions sent from our listeners. This was a chance for us to find out what you all wanted to know as well as for you to get to know the SpeakUp girls! We get real with our answers in regards to friendship, family, self care, and many others. So let’s talk, laugh, cry and enjoy our girl’s night in.

We want to say something to the men. The men coming from various walks of life, mannerisms, and mindsets. The men who have crossed paths with us and have impacted us in one way or another. Even though not every experience has been a great one, it has been a real one. Thank you for the lessons, the pain, the standards, and the love. Yes, we can only speak from our perspective as women but it all comes from the heart. We just want you to know that you are valued and loved, even when we don’t agree on everything. Also, trust that we do want to see you win. Win in love, in spirit, and anything else that will bring you fulfillment. This is why we had to get real honest in this episode and say a few things first. Men, this one’s for you.

What a year. No doubt that everyone has their own thoughts, emotions, and experiences towards this one. In this holiday episode we reflect and reminisce on our experiences this year from the good, the bad, and everything in between. However, regardless of what happened we are grateful to have made it this far and are looking to move forward in a healthy manner. Join our discussion as we dedicate this one to dear 2020.

Thick. Thick. Thick. What did you think of when you saw this word come up today? For us, the word thick holds great significance. It is the word that used to have a negative connotation but now we use it to embrace ourselves physically. We use it to embrace the parts of us that aren’t “perfect” or “ideal,” the parts that we have hidden through certain camera angles, and the parts that we’ve struggled to accept throughout our child and adulthood. Learning to do this is not easy and it is a category in our self love journey all on its own but nonetheless it is an important one. Embracing our curves and “thickness” allows us to accept, be patient, and fall in love with our bodies. It is the only one we have in this life and should be treated accordingly so. How thick is your respect for your body? How thick is your love for your body? How thick is your acceptance for your body?

As you can tell from the title, today we’re talking about situationships. You know, the ones that bring nothing but heartaches, confusion, and anger? The ones where you can’t really call that person yours because you’re not really dating but you are but you’re really not? Did that confuse you? Us too. This is the reason why we’re talking about them in today’s episode. Defining what we want and expect from the beginning is important if we want to avoid wasting our time. It’s true that we all have different definitions of dating so that will depend on us. However, no matter what we call it all people involved need to be informed because situationships just ain’t it.

What do you think of when you hear the term suppressed emotions? More importantly, how do you know if you have them? To be honest, most humans have suppressed emotions to a certain degree due to childhood/ adolescent trauma, life obstacles/ setbacks, or just dealing with people in general. What matters is for us to be aware that we have them and work towards processing our feelings rather than holding them inside. Suppressed emotions tend to affect our relationships with ourselves and with others. We need to normalize speaking about our emotions no matter what gender we do or do not identify with as well as realizing that doing so does not make us weak.

Boo! In honor of spooky season, we bring to you the first annual SpookUp. Here we have a discussion on all types of fears, real or imagined. Sit down, have some candy and enjoy this episode with us as we talk about creepy critters, brujeria, and other things that scare us. On the flip side, we also talk about fears that keep us from growing, from moving forward, and from healthy relationships. Whether you celebrate Halloween, El Dia De Los Muertos, or nothing at all we still encourage you to enjoy this episode and share it with your loved ones.

Standards. Seems like a simple enough word, right? Simple enough to understand, implement, and process. However, if you’ve ever sat down and asked yourself what exactly are your standards or if you’re living up to them you will realize it’s not easy to define what the term standards really means. It’s imperative we learn how to define our standards within our relationships as well as within ourselves if we want to experience healthier overall love. Life will throw all kinds of obstacles our way to test us to see if we’ve really changed or to challenge us to grow some more. The people we surround ourselves with and the mindset we carry with us will determine if we move forward with our lives or keep reliving the same situations. That’s why, above everything else, you have to say “it’s the standards for me.”