Hello, beloved listeners! It’s Host Molly. If you are reading this, you made it through January of 2025, which is no small feat. Welcome to the rest of your life! And happy Valentine’s Day, lovers.
Matthew and I are still not lovers, but we do text every day. Sometimes a couple of times, even. Often it’s about the show: what topics to do next, who should research which topic, or what to do on our forthcoming Corporate Retreat (see below OMG). More often, though, Matthew has bird news to share (“Today on 12th between Thomas and John there was a tree full of pine siskin and another tree full of cedar waxwings. Dozens of each”), or I need him to know, for reasons I cannot recall as of this writing, that I’m listening to Sade’s Diamond Life while cooking dinner. (A fine soundtrack for Valentine’s Day, come to think of it.)
SOTSA (Spouse of the Show Ash) can always tell when I’m texting with Matthew because there’s apparently a particular closed-mouth chuckle that I do. I’m told it’s kind of smug-sounding, like a movie villain. Anyway, one evening about a month ago, I had a good long closed-mouth chuckle at the following, which I now share with permission:
Matthew: WOTSL and I were out for a walk and and she accidentally said the phrase “Jeff Beyoncé,” and now I can’t stop laughing at the idea of a mediocre white guy named Jeff Beyoncé who disappoints people whenever he shows up.
Matthew: She was trying to say, “If Jeff Bezos hired Beyoncé to perform at his birthday party,” but she said, “If Jeff Beyoncé—shit”
WOTSL! Yet ANOTHER reason why she’s Matthew’s forever Valentine!
Then, the following day, another reason to do my creepy little chortle:
Matthew: Important update about Jeff Beyoncé: He used to be in a band called Jefftiny’s Child.
If you have any updates about Jeff, you know what to do: https://www.reddit.com/r/EverythingSpilledMilk/
What’s new, episode-wise?
Yesterday, on February 13th, we took an all-too-brief vacation to the island of Mypos to visit our old friend Balki and share a platter of Greek Salad. If you’re under forty, that joke will make no sense, but don’t worry: the episode will delight taste buds and earbuds of all ages.
Next week, on February 20th, we’re talking Marmalade, but somehow quince joins the conversation quite a bit? Mr. Etymology’s got the whole story.
And let’s see, I’m pretty excited that we’ve got Sun-Dried Tomatoes on the docket for March 13. Talk about a blast from the past! Nobody has eaten these babies since Perfect Strangers was on TV. Speaking of which, do you ever confuse the names Bronson Pinchot and Pierce Brosnan? Wouldn’t it be fun, from now on, whenever someone mentions Pierce Brosnan, to insist that he was the actor who played Balki? Let’s get this party started.
What’s new, bonus-episode-wise?
This month’s bonus episode smells like Matthew’s grandfather. Yep, we’re talking about Drugstore Fragrances. For a good time, search YouTube for “designer imposters body spray commercial.” But whatever you do, do NOT buy these products.
As usual, you can get this and all other bonus episodes at magnumbonus.com (password: magnumbonum) or subscribe to the RSS feed at https://www.magnumbonus.com/feed/podcast/.
What about that Corporate Retreat?
A few years ago, Matthew started saying that we should do our annual retreat in Whitehorse, Yukon (Canada). Abby and I ignored him, figuring this was a bit. (Also, I had never heard of Whitehorse.) But when he brought it up for, like, the sixth time, I began to understand that he was serious. And the more I thought about it, the more I found myself… excited! We’ll be there for three nights in early March. It’ll be the furthest north that any of us has been in North America. We’re all hoping to see the Aurora Borealis. I’m hoping to learn a lot about the Yukon horse. Abby is hoping to not lose any digits to frostbite.
Still waiting for the new Jefftiny’s Child to drop,
Host Molly
