Split Happens

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*Hey everybody! Boy wasn't the 4th of July fun?!  We're not sure because this insanely busy and crazy week has been a bit of a blur for the Split Happens sisters. So...this week instead of releasing a new episode we're re-releasing our most patriotic episode--Independence Day! Not to worry though, we'll be back killing it next week with brand spanking new content.

Man, these aliens have no chill. This week Katrina and Anna fight over the 1996 blockbuster: Independence Day, starring Will Smith, Jeff Goldblum, and Bill Pullman.

Did you know the president was originally written as a villain? Or that the filmmakers of this movie screwed over another alien movie released the same year? Or that in preparation for this movie, Will Smith spent over 6 months in alien-punching training?

You'll hear those mostly true facts and more in this episode!

-ANNA has come prepared to lead the episode and will hear nothing of Katrina's attacks, regardless how legitimate they may be.

-KATRINA is this week's CON and has many questions for Anna, such as "WHY DOESN'T WILL SMITH NOTICE THE GIGANTIC SPACESHIP COVERING THE SKY?!"

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If you have ever wanted to watch a man carry a large tree through the forest for no particular reason, we have got the movie for you! Check out the 1985 action fantastical, one-liner ridden, Commando. 

KATRINA-is the pro and we're not sure if she wants to talk about this movie or the new Arnold docuseries more. In summary, she can talk about Arnold all day long, and she doesn't want to hear any shit from Anna about how this movie might have plot issues, or how one person can't kill 150 people at one time. NOT. ONE. WORD. She wants to talk about bullets, donkeys, and a good-hearted testosterone fueled rivalry. Looking at you, Sly. 

ANNA-is the con and she didn't seem to work too hard to tear Ol Arnold down. Schmah, as Arnold and his fellow Austrians would say! She takes umbrage with someone with the name of Cooke who doesn't actually cook anything, and that he also didn't use his turn signal when he drove the car he was stealing through the dealership window. Safety first, people!!

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A llama??!! This weeks episode is celebrating the Oscar nominated Disney classic, The Emperor's New Groove. Emperor Kuzco wants his pool to get a little glow up which involves slightly destroying a local village, and lovable local villager Pacha wants to give a glow up to Kuzco's heart. Who will be the glow up victor? 

ANNA-is the pro this week,  and no amount of nonsense from Katrina will throw her off her groove. She is bringing trivia about Sting that doesn't involve his all night ding-a-ling, plot changes, the fuzz going after Eartha Kitt. And if all of that isn't enough to get a button push, she pulls out trivia on a topic Katrina can't resist getting excited about.......underground documentaries. 

KATRINA-is the con this week, and not even Taye Diggs can help her get her groove back after the terrible things she says about this beloved film. Can she avoid the charm of Kronk, squirrels, spunky children? Listen and find out!!

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It's our Father's Day Episode! What does a movie about a boy who gets abducted by aliens and then dropped back down on earth 8 years later with no recollection of being gone have to do with FD? Well, he had a father! 

Anna-is the pro this week, and not only does she have some out of this world trivia (see what we did there), but she's got space lasers of excitement shooting out of butt waiting for Katrina to say something nice about this 80's classic. 

Katrina-is the con, and not only is she terrified she will not be in Compliance (!) with the rules, she also has a lot to say about a tuna fish sandwich. She's gotta take what she can get, because this movie is rad. 

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All aboard the Payne Express! Toot Toot! This week is all about the 1995 comedy classic: Major Payne!  Major Benson Winifred Payne is being discharged from the Marines. Payne is a killin' machine, but when he learns he has killed all of the bad guys the only job left is to whip a bunch of JROTC losers into shape.  Listen to find out if a group of goofy eyed kids can thaw the ice around his heart like Major Payne permanently thawed Charlie's pulse. 

Directed by Nick Castle
Starring: Damon Wayans, Michael Ironside, William Hickey, and Karyn Parsons

KATRINA-is the pro this week and she has a steely eyed determination to end the button push drought! She's going to chugga chugga choo choo her way through trivia, hysterical one liners, and as always, tequila. 

ANNA-is the con this week, and well, she is screwed. She might as well wear orange, call herself Charlie, and run out into the jungle, because not even her German accent, or even her Scooby Doo accent, can distract Katrina from claiming victory. 

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The Split Happens sisters venture into the beloved comic world of bats, clowns, murder, clown murders. And to top it off, a bitching soundtrack by Prince! Having witnessed his parents' brutal murder as a child, millionaire philanthropist Bruce Wayne fights crime in Gotham City disguised as Batman, a costumed hero who strikes fear into the hearts of villains. But when a deformed madman who calls himself "The Joker" seizes control of Gotham's criminal underworld, Batman must face his most ruthless nemesis ever while protecting both his identity and his love interest, reporter Vicki Vale. This can only mean that today's episode is about 1989's Batman!!

Directed by Tim Burton
Starring: Michael Keaton, Jack Nicholson, Kim Basinger, Jack Palance, Billy Dee Williams, Robert Wuhl

Katrina is leading this weeks caper, and she is armed with her clue book, margarita, panini, and FACTS. Just listen to the episode, it will all make sense. Katrina introduces some new science about fireworks for babies that there is definitely no need for anyone to fact check. She's just sayin, if it's good enough for Bill Nye The Science Guy, it's good enough for her. Katrina looks like she's been using Smylex at the prospect of getting a button push out of Anna.  Kapow!!

Anna is the con, and it is going to to take more than a grieving hot man influenced by nocturnal creatures to turn that frown upside down. She's been using Brand Xxxxxxxxx. Katrina must confess that Anna focusing on Vicki going hungry in the museum scene is pretty clever, because you know your girls love a snack! Fortunately there are several things in this movie Anna actually doesn't like: clowns, balloons, people stealing other people's flowers. Will Anna prevail, or will Katrina do a bat dance all over her cons? Bam! 

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It's the real life board game turned mystery movie we all had no idea we needed and wanted. 7 guests given generic names, which in today's world we call depersonalization, thus making it easier for the killer to KILL AGAIN, are stuck in a house where they quickly learn they are all being blackmailed. When someone dies they must quickly discover who amongst them is the killer, and more importantly, who amongst them has dog shit on their shoes. Looking at you, Wadsworth. This can only mean that today's episode is all about the 1985, mystery, comedy, crime, thriller, Clue!

Directed by Jonathan Lynn
Starring: Tim Curry, Madeline Kahn, Eileen Brennan, Michael McKean, Christopher Lloyd, Martin Mull,  Leslie Ann Warren, and Colleen Camp

ANNA-is leading this one as the PRO, and you don't need much of a CLUE to figure out how happy she was about that! She has a suitcase full of trivia so overflowing that she had to do a speed round to get it all out. An actor in rehab. An actor with their eyeball popped out. An actor so funny that even a writer/director who wanted to stick to the script couldn't help but let them let loose a bit. That is just the tip of the knife. 

KATRINA-is the CON and if you are wondering how she felt about being in that predicament this should sum it up: FLAMES ON THE SIDE OF HER FACE!! She would be the first to admit that in this one she really just tried to avoid the dreaded red button by not mentioning Tim Curry or Madeline Kahn, but did manage to squeek out an insult or two .

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It's a tale as old as time itself...an evil no good zealot has a real thing for killing kids which leads to the king's unborn baby to be transported into the stomach of a cow where he's able to gain the power to psychically communicate with animals. Absolute classic. Obviously that means today's episode is all about the 1982 adventure/fantasy film The Beastmaster!

Directed by Don Coscarelli
Starring: Marc Singer, Tanya Roberts, John Amos, and Rip Torn

ANNA-is leading this one as the PRO and has the inside scoop on a movie the sisters, (and many, many, many other people who lived through the 80s) saw countless times thanks to the numerous repeat showings on TBS and HBO. 

KATRINA-is the CON and does have some attacks up her sleeve, but mostly just has lots of questions that require answers. Some regarding, but not limited to, the matter of consent in the Middle Ages. 

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The truck might be a bomb, but this movie isn’t! This episode is all about the fantastically entertaining 1996 action movie: The Long Kiss Goodnight! 

Starring Geena Davis, Samuel L. Jackson, Craig Bierko, Brian Cox, and David Morse

KATRINA- takes the PRO this week and though it's months after Christmas, she's hoping for a really late Christmas present via the big red button. 

ANNA- is again taking the CON and she thinks she has one solitary ace of an attack up her sleeve--hypothermia. 

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Wanna take a ride?! Of course you do and so do the sisters, so this week they're celebrating the brilliant and beautiful 1997 love letter to Carl Sagan: Contact!

Directed by Robert Zemeckis and starring Jodie Foster, Matthew McConaughey, Angela Bassett, Tom Skerritt, John Hurt, Jena Malone, William Fichtner, David Morse, and Rob Lowe

KATRINA-is the PRO and she's beyond excited to talk about another favorite Jodie Foster film. She's got a book full of trivia for the movie and her hand steadily hovered over the big red button. How accurate was the technical jargon used, and how involved was Carl Sagan in the making of the film? These questions have answers and they are in the episode so make sure you're okay to go!

ANNA-is once again the CON and though it'll feel like she's being tossed around a bunch of wormholes, she'll try not to let her love of space and Carl Sagan distract from the task at hand.