Stargatezing

There's some blasphemy, some bad descriptions of Medieval Europe, and it takes us 20 minutes just to get to credits. We're on our A game!

Team FRTS drifts off in all directions with one particularly loud one becoming very offensive to a newly awoken wraith. Meanwhile, Kathy and Mary lose their minds trying to figure out how a life signs detector quantifies life signs.

We get introduced to Vala. Another strong female character. But unlike Sam or Fraiser, she's kinda the worst. Additionally, Kathy and Mary debate at length over just how slimy the inside of a used super soldier's armor would be. It may be more interesting than the actual episode of the show was. Finally, Daniel may or may not have casually attempted to murder someone.

Team FRTS is silent but deadly as three of the four members sneak around the city. Meanwhile Rodney loves when a plan comes to together. Especially when it's his plan.

Sam just can't resist giving computer access to any rando that wants it. At least Teal'c is there holding the Big Gun with his big guns for protection. Meanwhile, Jack's off having dreams about two Sams.

Fun Fact: This episode is the winner of Canada's prestigious Most Dramatic MALP and Satellite Deployment Scenes That Fill Time award.

Earth people: Like us, even though we woke up all your deadliest enemies and bring guns to peaceful negotiations!

Everyone: No.

Earth people: How could you betray us like this?

Everyone: Because you woke up all our deadliest enemies and bring guns to peaceful negotiations.

PWalter's caught getting coffee when sh*t goes down in the gate room. Siler manages to avoid injury for once. Daniel is very bad at stealthy rescue missions, but fortunately Teal'c's got it covered. No thanks to Jack who hesitates to act if it jeopardizes SG1, even though action could have saved millions of lives...

FRTS finds a not-at-all-silent-but-deadly gas that can power the gate enough to bring the crew home. But if there is anything wrong, surely our buddy, Shep, will figure it out.

We discuss the logistics of keeping horses 26 stories underground. How many horses can you fit down there? Do they get to go to the surface to graze? How well do they fit on the elevators? How smelly is it? Also there's some lovers' spats but those are less interesting than the horses.

There's negotiations and trade and surprises and betrayal, but most importantly there's Chief Miles Edward O'Brian! Nice!