Jack struggles with his new job. Dr. Lee struggles with a giant plant. Some random delegates struggle with negotiations. Ba'al struggles with getting Camulus handed over to him. Life is hard at the SGC.

This episode seems very familiar. Don't they have any A"new"bis ideas?

Oh no! A smoke monster! No, not that one from lost. No, not that one from an upcoming episode of Stargate Atlantis. A different one. Secretly made from slime instead of smoke.

We've made some new friends, so does it really matter that we've released a terrible scourge on the galaxy?

Meet John Sheppard. He likes Antarctica and ferris wheels! He's got a magic gene and magic security clearance. He's the Jack of Pegasus! OMG OMG It's Stargate Atlantis time!

Thanks to Assisting Editor, Greoffrey!

Thor defrosts Jack! Fifth builds a girlfriend! The Goa'uld plot is totally sidelined! All versions of Pete suck!

Fifth is displeased with Sam. Yu is displeased with snacks. Weir and Daniel are displeased with everything. But Sam and Teal'c are very pleased with donuts and a few rounds of Truth or Dare...we assume.

Teal'c and Bratac get betrayed by yet another "rebel jaffa" who is not actually a rebel jaffa. Jack does pretty much all the things you'd expect him to do based on what happened the last time he put his face in some alien tech. But in actual news, Sam gets to be in command while Hammond and Pwalter head to the front lines together! Daniel is around somewhere doing stuff too.

Life Advice from Mary and Kathy: Watch "Pigs in Space." Don't eat a whole box of donuts. Don't shave sideways. Clean your phone often. Watch this episode of "Stargate SG1" because it's finally good again.

The boring episode of boringness that we bored our way through.