This episode is about snow — how much I love the snow, how it reminds me of 아빠, how I watched dads take care of their kids sledding down the hills, and the grief that comes with hearing about 엄마 shoveling the snow in Virginia while I'm in New York.

This episode is also about the insights that came from the Asian American Art Club meeting I held today. It was my first club meeting with three people — David, Maggie, and me.

Life is short. We're a blink. Let's do this thing.

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This episode is about the difficulty of recovering from our trip to Virginia, 엄마 apologizing to me about being overly critical, and the surprising grief that comes with my relationship with 엄마 changing, even if it's for the better.

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This episode is about my friend, Sonny.

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This episode is about talking to one of my closest friends, Sonny Van. In this episode, I talk about the history of our 12-year friendship. We met in August 2012, when I was 23 and Sonny was 26. We lived in the intern house for 3 months together, we lived in a van and slept in people's homes for 10 weeks together, we were the Northeast Nomads together, we traveled across the country together. We lived some of our best days together, and I will always love him and our teammate, Justin. Greg and I would likely never have met without Liberty in North Korea.

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This episode is about our 6th Asian American Art Club meeting! We talked about authenticity, identity, outcasts, cool versus not cool, Jupiter as Virginia, New York as the moon, myself as Earth, and the gravity between both places as our relationships, plexiglass people on conveyor belts and multifaceted gems floating in space. MY BRAIN ALWAYS FEELS SO EXPANSIVE AT THESE MEETINGS!

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This episode is about the immense pain that Virginia holds for me, the immense difficulty of visiting 아빠's grave at the cemetery, the concept of delayed grief, and how pregnancy both compounded my grief and distracted me from my grief.

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This episode is about all of my feelings catching up to me after coming back to New York from Virginia. Grief whiplash is a term I came up with to describe experiencing delayed feelings of grief from back-to-back triggers, like holidays. My morning walks are my daily meditation. As a Complex-PTSD survivor, it's imperative to get back into my body.

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This episode is about the stress I feel about missing my Friday episode, and it's mostly a reflection of that day. This episode is about the Asian American Art Club meeting I hosted over Google Meet where we talked about our dreams. This episode is about how dreams change as we grow, and they also stay the same. This episode is about the difficulty of holding onto our dreams throughout all that life throws at us.

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This episode is about talking to my family in Korea over KakaoTalk for 설날, my 2025 intention to regularly communicate with my family in Korea, my 이모's incredibly kind and validating messages to us, and my incredibly vulnerable messages back. This episode is about how I come from a family of writers, artists, and deep feelers, and how I have received the intergenerational gift of art, writing, and 정 from my family. This episode is about seeing the silent battles of a widow, 엄마. This episode is about the heaviness of Virginia. This episode is about our last day in Virginia, that actually ended up not being our last day in Virginia — we left on Friday.

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This episode is about observing, surviving, grieving, and celebrating our first 설날 together as a family.

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