Staying Power

Episode 128: Why Being Seen Matters

Most of us can remember a moment when someone noticed us at exactly the right time.

Not because they solved our problems.

Not because they had all the answers.

But because they saw us.

Inspired by a story of a hotel housekeeper and a struggling job seeker, Ashley and JD explore one of the deepest human needs: the need to feel seen, valued, and acknowledged. Drawing from neuroscience, attachment theory, and social psychology, they discuss why recognition matters so profoundly, how loneliness often begins with invisibility, and how small moments of attention can have effects we never fully understand.

Because sometimes the thing that changes a life isn't advice.

It's being noticed.

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Episode 127: The Man Behind the "Father" Mask

Around Father's Day, conversations often focus on what makes a good father. But what if fatherhood is simply one expression of something deeper?

In this episode of Staying Power, Ashley and JD explore what helps men become healthier, more grounded, emotionally capable versions of themselves—and how that inner work shapes not only fatherhood, but friendships, partnerships, leadership, and community. Drawing from psychology, neuroscience, and modern research on masculinity, they discuss emotional awareness, responsibility, connection, purpose, and the challenges men face in a rapidly changing world.

Because before a man can care for others well, he must learn how to care for himself.

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Episode 126: What A Weird Question...?

Getting to know the people in our lives can be a mixture of laughter, joy, frustration, and faith - all the elements that we encounter throughout our lives. Even the silliest and strangest questions and stories can teach us a great deal about each other, even between friends connected for decades. 

In this week's episode, JDK and Ashley ask each other a series of rather unique questions - some hypothetical, some not, and some that are just plain weird. What results are a great deal of laughs, unique perspectives, and insights about human nature to which we can all relate. 

Tune in to join in the mirth and fun, and try some of these questions out in your circles and see what you learn that is new about the people you already know very well.

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Episode 125: Leaning Into Our Learning Curves

Learning new things can be intimidating yet fun, challenging yet liberating. Navigating the "learning curve" of something new depends on our ability to confront and move through discomfort in the moment for the benefits of growth and maturation in the future. Why do we often resist such discomfort? How can we better accept the challenges and fears that come with learning new things? How can we help others navigate their own learning curves?

All those questions are the subject of today's episode, which begins with a story of something JDK is experiencing in real time in his own life. Take a listen and see what you think of all that gets discussed in this episode - and there is a lot to take in! 

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Episode 124: “Don’t Screw This Up (And Why That Backfires)”

Have you ever told yourself, “Don’t mess this up”…right before doing exactly that?

In this episode of Staying Power, Ashley and JD explore how our internal language shapes our performance, behavior, and emotional state. Drawing from neuroscience, cognitive psychology, and performance research, they unpack why focusing on what we want to avoid often backfires — and how shifting toward clear, positive intention can open the door to better outcomes.

Because your brain doesn’t just hear what you don't want… it builds around what you focus on.

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Episode 123: “When ‘Independence’ Becomes Armor”

When people let us down, it can feel empowering to say, “I’m becoming more independent” or “I’m setting better boundaries.” And sometimes that’s exactly what’s happening.

But sometimes, what we call independence is actually grief. What we call boundaries is actually bitterness. And what we call self-protection is slowly becoming self-isolation.

In this episode of Staying Power, Ashley and JD explore how disappointment can harden into guardedness, why the COVID years and social media may have intensified this pattern, and how to move from rebellion and resentment into healthier discernment, connection, and self-trust.

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Episode 122: Circling Back to the 12 Mis-steps

This week, Staying Power welcomes back K’ai Roberts Fu, speaker and author of the newly-released “12 Mis-steps: How Twelve-Step Programs Trip Up Trauma Survivors." In a wide ranging conversation about the book and about her life since her last visit to the show (Episode 063), K’ai shares her journey to finishing and releasing the book, along with important insights about herself and about public and professional responses to her vocal critique of the harm twelve-step programs can inflict on trauma survivors. Her book, endorsed by prominent authors and experts including Dr. Aimie Apigian, Lance Dodes, Johann Hari, and Maia Szalavitz, is finding its audience, and for good reason – because it resonates with the experiences of many trauma survivors and the therapists seeking to help them. You can become part of that audience and join a conversation that is only going to get bigger…

After listening to the conversation, hop over to Amazon and order your own copy – and you can even read an extended sample before doing so: https://a.co/d/00b0IqJI

And to connect with K’ai yourself, be sure to follow her on social media:

-Website: https://kairobertsfu.com/

-Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kairobertsfuauthor12missteps/

-YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@kairobertsfu/

Lastly, be sure to check out the fine work done by our sponsor, Pars Revive Renovation! https://parsrenovation.com/

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Episode 121: “Why We Hold Ourselves Back”

What if the biggest limits in your life aren’t external — but internal?

In this episode of Staying Power, Ashley and JD explore the science

behind scarcity and abundance mindsets, and why our brains are wired to

play it safe — often at the cost of growth. Drawing from neuroscience,

behavioral psychology, and performance research, they unpack how past

experiences shape our sense of what’s possible, why we self-sabotage,

and how to expand our thinking in grounded, practical ways.

Because abundance isn’t about wishful thinking — it’s about changing what

you see, what you attempt, and what you allow.

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Episode 120: What Irritates You...Might Be You

Why do certain people get under our skin so easily?

In this episode of Staying Power, Ashley and JD explore the psychology

behind our negative reactions to others — and how those reactions often

reflect something within ourselves. Drawing from psychology,

neuroscience, and contemplative traditions, they unpack projection,

conditioning, and emotional triggers — and how learning to recognize them

can lead to greater self-awareness, compassion, and growth.

Because sometimes the fastest way to understand yourself… is to notice

what bothers you about someone else.

And be sure to check out the fine work done by our sponsor, Pars Revive Renovation!

https://parsrenovation.com/

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Episode 119: The Power of Saying Goodbye

Goodbyes come in many forms — sudden loss, long illness, the end of a

relationship, or even the quiet realization that a part of ourselves no longer

fits.

In this episode of Staying Power, Ashley and JD explore the emotional and

neurological reality of saying goodbye. Why is it so hard? Why do we

sometimes avoid it? And what gifts can emerge when we allow ourselves to

fully experience endings?

Drawing from neuroscience, grief research, and lived experience, they

reflect on how goodbyes shape identity, deepen meaning, and ultimately

make room for growth.

Because every ending… carries something forward.

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