Steppin' Out Radio

Brian has been in and out of recovery. His first drink came in high school and his first taste of sobriety came at age 26, but he always found himself back in glass, drinking his life away. Brian says his sobriety was empty, unmeaningful, and that he was always waiting for a miracle. A pretty girl in a bar convinced him very easily to break his twelve-year sober run.

Jerry grew up in a Midwestern, fundamentalist family. There was no alcohol in his family growing up, but was drawn to alcohol. Upon coming of age, he drank in order o get drunk. He also experimented with marijuana, LSD and other drugs. But alcohol was the substance to which he would constantly return. While Jerry didn't think of it at the time, he feels he became an alcoholic instantly. He was getting drunk every night, and he would convince himself his drinking was manageable. Jerry would marry, become a father, and continue to drink despite his professional life falling apart. He soon would be unable to earn a living and in trouble with the law.

Nicki first used methamphetamine at age 13. She was no stranger to drug use, having smoked pot since age 11 and drinking since age 12. But from age 13, her life spiraled out of control through drug use sparked by her use of meth; she did other drugs like acid. By age 14, she and her father would use meth together. But one day at age 14 she took a trip with her then-boyfriend to California but ended up stranded. She sold meth in order to buy a bus ticket back to her hometown in Oregon. At age 16 Nicki re-acquainted with childhood friend Nick, who had long since stopped using drugs. The two became involved and became parents, but wound up using meth together while caring for a baby.

Judy began abusing substances early. Growing up in small town in Iowa, her first drink came at age 11, and was blacking out in high school. She would drink, smoke marijuana and drop acid. It caused her to feel guilty and ashamed, and to cope, she would experiment with drugs. At age 23, she tried meth, or "crank" for the first time. Judy says it was the miracle cure for her alcoholism; ending her fear and her shame, but also her inhibitions. She would find her self dropping out of school and becoming a welfare mom, and found that dealing meth gave her an income stream she never had previously. But her addiction lead her to further use and eventual homelessness.

Joe comes from a background of food. His Italian family revolved around meals; the grocery shopping, the preparation, and the family gathering around the table. His very large extended family regularly engorged themselves at Sunday dinners. He remembers the adults in his life praising his huge appetite which made him think that eating would earn him praise and love. But the reverse became true for Joe as he grew into his teens, when classmates would reject him due to his obesity.

Jill's life focused daily on how much she felt she should or should not be eating, and how her diet would affect her body size. She would worry constantly that if she ate just a bit too much at one meal, she would get fat; she would refrain from eating for the rest of the day. Jill thinks it started in childhood, when her very trim grandmother would make comments to her about her weight. Because of that Jill, would sneak junk food out of shame. As she grew into her teens, she would eat secretly, praying nobody would see her.

Joanne thinks her alcoholism began at age 12 or 13. She grew in a small town where she and her friends had easy access to beer. She was, however, fearful of becoming an alcoholic because one of her parents was a drinker and she never wanted to end up like that. Her drinking continued through college, when she flipped her car while driving drunk. Joanne blamed it on a slippery roadway. Her drinking was never to blame for these kids of things that kept happening to her. But eventually the alcohol wasn't enough for Joanne, and she turned to prescription drugs, both in pill and injectable forms. As a doctor she had access to drugs but one day she made a mistake, and injected herself with something that paralyzed her.

Bill is an alcoholic. Both sides of his family were filled with drinkers, but Bill grew up a successful young man. He went to college on scholarship and even while at school never touched alcohol. His first drink didn't come until the age of 22. Bill went to his first bar then, and drank 13 drinks just to see what it was like. He found himself back in the bar the next day for more. Bill drank himself through medical school, and the dean eventually asked him to leave due to his drinking. He was prompted to seek help one day in November of 1963 when emerging from a blackout to news that President Kennedy had been killed.

As a child, Sue didn't know her desire to eat certain foods was an illness. Sue remembers hovering around candy dishes, and taking way more than her share of special holiday treats. Much like other addicts, Sue tried to keep up appearances. She did well in school and didn't look like your stereotypical addict; she was clean-cut and while by no means obese, she had put on significant weight as a teen. But she felt she was obese and grotesque. But sue now realizes she had trouble feeling love and that she used the food to fill what she says was a feeling of emptiness.

Claire is a food addict, which she says is a bit different from being a "Overeater." They are not overeaters, often, but they use food and its ingredients as a drug. Claire says anything floury would relieve her stress, give her confidence, and calm her anxiety. She would also suffer withdrawals if she wasn't eating certain foods. She remembers her hands and arms shaking unless she ate sugary snacks. Sugar was perhaps her first drug, stealing candy from candy machines at age six or seven. But it wasn't to satisfy a food craving, she says. Claire feels she was born with an addiction to sugary and floury foods, and she's now "sober."