How to Become Authentically You

You must be vulnerable; this is hard to do when you are terrified of being judged. We have given our power away because we are more worried about how someone will see us than how God views us. We just need to get over ourselves. When we are vulnerable, we are able to open up and allow people to see us; not just the neat areas of our lives, but even the areas we are working on overcoming.

We all have something that we are working on. Things like shame, guilt and fear are no longer hold us back from being honest about our process. When you are honest and vulnerable you can work on what you have been putting off. You may have heard me say it before and I’m going to say it again and I’m going to keep saying it. Jesus carried all of the fear, shame and guilt on the cross. It is too heavy for us to bear. God never intended for us to carry it. So, we should lighten our load and move forward. The longer we hold on to it whatever it is; the longer it takes for us to be the real you. As we grow, we become less afraid of being honest with our emotions. One of the biggest issues is that most people think that being vulnerable is going to cause pain, betrayal or fear.

We say things like we gotta keep it together but the truth is that the more vulnerable we are about where we are in our lives; the more meaningful our relationships are going to be.

How to Become Authentic by Being Honest

If we aren’t going to be honest with ourselves that will be an hinderance to our healing. We must be authentically ourselves and tell the truth. Alright so let’s go over some of the ways that we begin to emerge into our authentic selves and grow into who the Lord has called us to be. First thing first, honesty. We must be honest with ourselves, we must be honest about our issues, pains and triggers. We have to take time to really look at what bothers us about our lives. What is hurting us, the things that make us slip into shame or guilt?

Answer the questions like: What makes me angry? What makes me sad? In order to heal we must acknowledge the things we love about ourselves and the things we do not like. Honesty is a doorway to being authentic. Authenticity implies the lack of an attempt to control other people’s perceptions of us. So what authenticity means is that we are not going to work hard to control how people see us. We are not going to live our lives by putting on a show so that we can control how people see us. Are you guilty of putting on a show for others? Try to make sure it is what we want them to see and not who we really are. However, that’s not our responsibility; our responsibility is to feed our authentic selves who God has called us to be. Healing from the past means healing from people’s perceptions of who we used to be.

Who Are You?

In order to be healed from what you have experienced you have to ask yourself a question. Who am I? When it comes to healing our past, we have to look at who are we really. We have to take a look at ourselves and how we view ourselves; how we view others and heal the emotions that are connected to the experiences that cause us pain. It is one thing to recognize where we need to grow but another to recognize the work that needs to be done. Healing requires

Have you ever said the following: I’m okay, I’ll be all right, I’m not even going to say anything, they know what they did, they know they hurt me or I’ll get over it in time? So much time has gone by and you are still in that same place of no resolve; a place of no peace. To become healthy, whole spiritually and emotionally is to get to the core of who you really are. When regret, shame and pain of the past are erased out of our site our authentic selves begin to emerge. So if you are in that place of pain today your true self has not emerged yet because you haven’t healed yet. A clue that our past is being healed and we can begin to show up, even more, is when we become truthful. That is the antidote and key to the pain, the shame and the guilt.

When you can just let it go, get it out and say here I am, this is me handling my past requires that I am honest and authentic with myself and others.

The Process

We are all growing and maturing in our emotions, decisions and opinions. For those of us who are Christians there is a clear path and direction in how we are to respond in difficulties, experiences, accusations, trials and moments of being misunderstood. We all must go through a process and in this we examine our

1.    When faced with conflict

2.    In misunderstandings

3.    In accusations

4.    In betrayal

5.    In communication

When we experience a loss, brokenness, transition or even betrayal, it is important that we do not rush through the pain, but allow ourselves to feel it. We need

The processing, crushing, making, molding, shifting, humbling, squeezing, the pressures of life and the decisions we have to make. Are we going to walk in mature love or will we do what babies do? Will we point fingers, will we complain, will we look for an escape from the process or will we just grow through it to

We must unlearn what we thought was love. We must allow God to go deep. We must be willing to do the hard work so we can perfect our love, so we can mature. How do we grow in our love?

Do I say I don’t care? When we do this we gradually allow ourselves to not be able to feel love. Our love will never be full because it will always be wondering if the pain is around the corner. This will prevent us from fully giving of ourselves and allowing others in our life.

A Maturing in Love

We can only really understand love if we understand the originator of it. Scientists and Psychologists who do not believe in creation theory believe that we evolved gradually. They say love is an innate desire that is in every human being and that it grows out of our need to be loved. While this is true, perfect love does not come out of a need to be loved, it comes from the desire we have to love. Everyone has a desire to be loved, but we also have a desire to love. If this was not true, we would not do the things we have done to earn the love of a friend, our parents, potential mates. Think about some of the crazy things you did as a teenager because you thought you were in love. Then our hearts got broken because we did things for love. Scripture lays out clearly what love should look like. John 3:16 and I Corinthians 13:4-6 Love is patient, love is kind, it does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud, it does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. God exhorts us to love one another deeply because God is love, treat others as ourselves but what happens when our understanding of love is murky?

You may be asking yourself how does love help me to heal? How do I conquer my past emotional trauma? I have to look inwardly at myself before I look outward. When we check our love meter we can see where we have been immature in our love. Our society confuses love and lust. Unlike lust, God’s kind of love is directed outward toward others, not inward toward ourselves. It is utterly unselfish. This kind of love goes against our natural inclinations. It is impossible to have this kind of love unless God helps us set aside our own natural desires so that we can love without expecting anything in return. We can’t manufacture

What Does Love Look Like? Let’s look at I Corinthians 13:4-7 (Love Meter Chart)

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In order to break the cycles in our families we must be honest with our children. If we aren't honest with our children you may notice from time to time that the same sin affects those in your family bloodline. Let's tell the truth and expose the evil works of our forefathers.  

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When the family unit is broken our children are usually the collateral damage of our failure to fix what is broken. No matter what happened to you as a child you can overcome it. It will require you to do the work to be free of the pain.   

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