Stethoscopes and Strollers

Hey Doc,

I’m back with another episode where I was dropping gems on another podcast.

I joined Dr. Diane Shannon on Vital Signs: Thriving as a Woman in Medicine to talk about something I think sits at the heart of so much burnout for physician moms: the definition of a "good mom."

Most of us inherited that definition without ever questioning it. Be there for everything. Do it yourself. Put everyone else's needs ahead of your own. Sacrifice without complaint.

The problem? That model was never built for women practicing medicine.

Medicine still rewards self-sacrifice. Motherhood often expects it. Put those two together, and it's no surprise so many physician moms feel like they're failing at both, even when they're doing an extraordinary job.

In this conversation, we unpack where these expectations come from, why physician moms experience them so intensely, and how creating your own definition of motherhood isn't selfish. It's necessary.

We also talk about the practical changes that can help you protect your wellbeing without sacrificing the career or family you've worked so hard to build.

In this episode, we discuss:

• Why the traditional idea of the "good mom" sets physician moms up for burnout
• How medicine's culture of martyrdom amplifies guilt at home and at work
• The hidden costs of trying to do everything yourself
• Why redefining motherhood is one of the most important mindset shifts you can make
• Practical ways to prioritize yourself without feeling guilty

If you've ever felt like you're constantly falling short, despite giving everything you have, I hope this conversation reminds you that the problem isn't you.

It might just be the definition you've been trying to live up to.

🎧 Press play and let's redefine what being a good mom really means.

What did you think of the episode, doc? Let me know!

Subscribe to ✨Stethoscopes and Strollers✨ on your favorite podcast platform so you never miss an episode.

Apple Podcast | Spotify | YouTube

Connect with me: Website | Instagram | Facebook 

Join my Email list to get tips on navigating motherhood in the medical field.

If you are going through a transition -- becoming a parent, leaving a job, figuring out how manage it all, schedule a strategy coaching session and get clarity and strategic next steps for the life and career you want.

Strategy Coaching Session with Dr. Toya

One conversation can change your career. But first, you have to be willing to ask.

In this episode, I'm joined by my friend Dr. Kristine Goins on The Physician's Guide to Doctoring to talk about one of my favorite topics: asking.

Whether you're negotiating your contract, requesting a different schedule, asking for support at home, or advocating for yourself in medicine, the biggest obstacle usually isn't strategy. It's believing you're allowed to ask in the first place.

We talk about why physicians are conditioned to avoid asking, how to move through the fear of hearing "no," and why connecting to what you actually want changes every negotiation.

In this episode, we discuss:

• Why asking is a skill every physician needs
• How medical culture teaches us to silence our own needs
• Reframing "no" as information instead of rejection
• The role of curiosity in successful negotiation
• Why your deepest desire matters more than negotiation scripts
• How to know if you're asking for enough
• A real example of negotiating a locums incentive by honoring your own value

A quick heads-up: Parts of this recording were unfortunately corrupted, and AI replaced portions of my voice during the editing process. It sounds a little strange in a few spots, but the conversation was too valuable not to share. Thanks for sticking with it.

If this episode makes you realize you've been settling for less than you need, I hope it reminds you that asking isn't selfish. It's a skill. And it's one worth practicing.

What did you think of the episode, doc? Let me know!

Subscribe to ✨Stethoscopes and Strollers✨ on your favorite podcast platform so you never miss an episode.

Apple Podcast | Spotify | YouTube

Connect with me: Website | Instagram | Facebook 

Join my Email list to get tips on navigating motherhood in the medical field.

If you are going through a transition -- becoming a parent, leaving a job, figuring out how manage it all, schedule a strategy coaching session and get clarity and strategic next steps for the life and career you want.

Strategy Coaching Session with Dr. Toya

Hey Doc—

One of the questions I've been asked the most over the past few months is, "Why did you leave medicine?"

The short answer is: I didn't leave medicine to do something else.

I left clinical practice because I found another way to serve physician moms.

In this episode, I share the story behind that decision, why coaching became my second calling, and why stepping away from practicing as an OB/GYN wasn't about walking away from patients. It was about expanding the impact I could have by helping physician moms build lives they actually enjoy living.

When a physician mom finds her voice, strengthens her marriage, leads with confidence, creates support at home, and rediscovers herself, the ripple effect reaches her family, her colleagues, and every patient she cares for.

That's why this work matters so much to me.

In this episode, we discuss:

• The real reason I stepped away from clinical medicine
• Why coaching physician moms became my life's work
• How supporting one physician mom creates a ripple effect far beyond one family
• Why I believe this work is an extension of medicine, not a departure from it
• What it means to find a second calling without letting go of the first

Looking back, I don't think I had two separate careers. I've always been committed to helping women thrive. The way I do that has changed, but the mission hasn't.

🎧 Listen now, and if you've ever wondered what happens when your purpose evolves, I hope this episode gives you a glimpse into mine.

What did you think of the episode, doc? Let me know!

Subscribe to ✨Stethoscopes and Strollers✨ on your favorite podcast platform so you never miss an episode.

Apple Podcast | Spotify | YouTube

Connect with me: Website | Instagram | Facebook 

Join my Email list to get tips on navigating motherhood in the medical field.

If you are going through a transition -- becoming a parent, leaving a job, figuring out how manage it all, schedule a strategy coaching session and get clarity and strategic next steps for the life and career you want.

Strategy Coaching Session with Dr. Toya

Hey Doc—

Welcome back to Part 2 of this conversation.

In Part 1, we talked about why so many physician moms end up exhausted, overwhelmed, and questioning whether this is simply what motherhood and medicine are supposed to feel like.

In this episode, we shift to what comes next.

We talk about the beliefs many of us carry into motherhood without ever examining them, why trying to do everything yourself often leads to resentment, and the practical shifts that allow physician moms to thrive without complete self-sacrifice.

From building a village to strengthening your marriage to putting yourself back on your own priority list, this conversation is about creating a version of motherhood that supports your life instead of consuming it.

In this episode, we discuss:

• Why you need to define motherhood based on your own values
• The myth that good mothers should do everything themselves
• How building a village creates stronger families, not weaker mothers
• Why investing in your marriage benefits everyone in your home
• How prioritizing yourself makes you a better physician, partner, and mother

Medicine teaches us to put everyone else first. Motherhood often reinforces the same message. It's no surprise so many physician moms feel like they're disappearing in the process.

My hope is that this conversation helps you think differently about what thriving can look like—and reminds you that you get to build a life that fits you.

🎧 Listen now, and if this episode made you think of another physician mom, send it her way.

What did you think of the episode, doc? Let me know!

Subscribe to ✨Stethoscopes and Strollers✨ on your favorite podcast platform so you never miss an episode.

Apple Podcast | Spotify | YouTube

Connect with me: Website | Instagram | Facebook 

Join my Email list to get tips on navigating motherhood in the medical field.

If you are going through a transition -- becoming a parent, leaving a job, figuring out how manage it all, schedule a strategy coaching session and get clarity and strategic next steps for the life and career you want.

Strategy Coaching Session with Dr. Toya

Hey Doc—

This summer I'm re-releasing some of my favorite conversations from podcasts where I was the guest because the topics are just as relevant today as they were when we recorded them.

In this first part of my conversation on the Girl Doc Survival Guide podcast, we talk about why so many physician moms find themselves exhausted, questioning everything, and wondering why success doesn't feel the way they thought it would.

I share parts of my own journey, but this conversation is really about something much bigger: the culture of medicine, the expectations placed on mothers, and why so many of us have been taught that self-sacrifice is simply part of the job.

If you've ever felt like you're doing everything "right" but still wondering why it feels so hard, I think you'll see yourself in this conversation.

In this episode, we discuss:

• Why physician moms are especially vulnerable to burnout and overwhelm
• How motherhood can completely change your relationship with medicine
• Why I left employed OB/GYN practice and what that decision taught me
• The mindset shifts that helped me stop accepting self-sacrifice as the cost of success
• Why building a life that fits you matters more than living up to everyone else's expectations

This is an honest conversation about what happens when you start questioning the rules you've been taught and begin creating a version of medicine and motherhood that actually works for you.

🎧 Listen now, and then join me for Part 2, where we get practical about the tools and strategies that help physician moms thrive without complete self-sacrifice.

What did you think of the episode, doc? Let me know!

Subscribe to ✨Stethoscopes and Strollers✨ on your favorite podcast platform so you never miss an episode.

Apple Podcast | Spotify | YouTube

Connect with me: Website | Instagram | Facebook 

Join my Email list to get tips on navigating motherhood in the medical field.

If you are going through a transition -- becoming a parent, leaving a job, figuring out how manage it all, schedule a strategy coaching session and get clarity and strategic next steps for the life and career you want.

Strategy Coaching Session with Dr. Toya

Hey Doc,

This episode is a little different.

First, a content warning. I talk about miscarriage and describe one of the most difficult calls I've had as an OB/GYN, so if that's not something you want to hear today, I completely understand.

I also share one of my favorite tools for getting through stressful moments. It's a technique I've used for years with anxious patients during pelvic exams and on labor and delivery, but it wasn't until that call that I realized how much I needed it myself.

If you're skeptical of anything remotely "woo-woo," this episode isn’t for you 😂

I hope you give it a try the next time life, medicine, or motherhood feels like a little too much.

In this episode I discuss:

• Why the goal isn't always to eliminate stress
• The difficult call that reminded me to use my own tools
• A simple visualization I use during overwhelming moments
• How this technique can help both inside and outside the hospital

🎧 I hope you enjoy the episode.

What did you think of the episode, doc? Let me know!

Subscribe to ✨Stethoscopes and Strollers✨ on your favorite podcast platform so you never miss an episode.

Apple Podcast | Spotify | YouTube

Connect with me: Website | Instagram | Facebook 

Join my Email list to get tips on navigating motherhood in the medical field.

If you are going through a transition -- becoming a parent, leaving a job, figuring out how manage it all, schedule a strategy coaching session and get clarity and strategic next steps for the life and career you want.

Strategy Coaching Session with Dr. Toya

Hey Doc,

Father's Day has me thinking about something we don't talk about nearly enough.

Men can experience postpartum depression too.

In this episode, I'm diving into paternal postpartum depression, why it often goes unrecognized, and how it can show up in ways that look very different from what we typically expect. Because when a husband suddenly becomes withdrawn, irritable, distant, or seems completely disconnected after a baby arrives, the internet is usually quick to label him as lazy, selfish, or worse.

Sometimes that's true.

Sometimes it's not.

As an OB/GYN and perinatal mental health specialist, I was surprised when I first learned that about 10% of new fathers experience postpartum depression, and that number jumps dramatically when their partner is struggling too.

This conversation isn't about excusing harmful behavior.

It's about understanding the difference between a struggling partner and a bad one.

It's about making room for nuance.

And it's about protecting something I care deeply about: your marriage.

In This Episode:

• What paternal postpartum depression actually looks like
• Why men's symptoms often show up differently than women's
• The hormonal changes fathers experience during pregnancy and postpartum
• How social conditioning affects men's mental health
• The danger of labeling every struggling husband as "trash"
• Why understanding creates opportunities for healing
• My philosophy: Self first. Marriage second. Kids third.

This is a conversation about compassion, awareness, and giving families the tools to thrive together.

🎧 Listen now wherever you get your podcasts.

What did you think of the episode, doc? Let me know!

Subscribe to ✨Stethoscopes and Strollers✨ on your favorite podcast platform so you never miss an episode.

Apple Podcast | Spotify | YouTube

Connect with me: Website | Instagram | Facebook 

Join my Email list to get tips on navigating motherhood in the medical field.

If you are going through a transition -- becoming a parent, leaving a job, figuring out how manage it all, schedule a strategy coaching session and get clarity and strategic next steps for the life and career you want.

Strategy Coaching Session with Dr. Toya

Hey Doc,

As Juneteenth approaches, I've been thinking a lot about freedom.

Not the big, abstract kind we usually talk about. The everyday kind.

The freedom to be a child.

The freedom to love your beautiful brown skin without anyone planting doubt in your mind.

The freedom to be curious, imaginative, and just a little bit weird.

In this episode, I'm sharing some of the moments that make me grateful for the life my husband and I have intentionally created for our children. From my daughter proudly celebrating her beautiful brown skin to my son's innocent toy names that accidentally sparked a conversation about race, this episode is really about what happens when children are given space to simply be themselves.

I also talk about homeschooling, socialization, and why I've never been convinced by the argument that children need more exposure to the world when so much of what adults struggle with comes directly from the messages we've absorbed from it.

This isn't a debate about homeschooling.

It's a celebration of freedom.

And as we honor Juneteenth, that feels especially important.

In This Episode:

• Why I proudly call my children "little weirdos"
• The difference between confidence and conditioning
• The first racist experiences my son had as a preschooler
• What my daughter taught me about beautiful brown skin
• Why the socialization argument doesn't move me
• The surprising lesson behind toys named Blackie and Whitey
• What freedom looks like inside our home

This episode is a love letter to Black childhood, intentional parenting, and creating environments where our children can thrive before the world tells them who they should be.

🎧 Listen now wherever you get your podcasts.

What did you think of the episode, doc? Let me know!

Subscribe to ✨Stethoscopes and Strollers✨ on your favorite podcast platform so you never miss an episode.

Apple Podcast | Spotify | YouTube

Connect with me: Website | Instagram | Facebook 

Join my Email list to get tips on navigating motherhood in the medical field.

If you are going through a transition -- becoming a parent, leaving a job, figuring out how manage it all, schedule a strategy coaching session and get clarity and strategic next steps for the life and career you want.

Strategy Coaching Session with Dr. Toya

Hey Doc—

If you're looking for an au pair right now and wondering whether all the good candidates have disappeared into thin air, you're not imagining it.

I've had several physician moms ask me how I find au pairs when the agency websites seem completely picked over. And since I'm currently searching for a new au pair myself, the timing felt perfect to pull back the curtain on exactly how I do it.

This is not a conversation about choosing an agency or comparing program fees. This is about creating a process that keeps you organized, efficient, and significantly less likely to lose your mind during the search.

Because if you're anything like me, you already have a career, a family, and approximately 47 other responsibilities. Spending hours scrolling through profiles only to forget who you've already contacted is not the best use of your time.

In this episode, I'm sharing the system I built during our last search, the one that helped us find an amazing au pair who stayed with our family for years. You'll hear why I start outside the agency apps, how I organize candidates, where I actually find people, and the simple preparation that makes the entire process smoother.

In this episode, I discuss:

• Why the au pair apps may not be the best place to start your search
• The simple organizational system that keeps candidates from slipping through the cracks
• How I use Facebook groups strategically without getting trapped scrolling for hours
• What information I track for every candidate
• The message template that saves me time and helps start conversations quickly
• Why preparation matters more than most people realize

Finding childcare support shouldn't feel like a second full-time job.

A little organization on the front end can save you hours of frustration later.

🎧 Listen now and let me show you the system that's making my current au pair search much less painful.

What did you think of the episode, doc? Let me know!

Subscribe to ✨Stethoscopes and Strollers✨ on your favorite podcast platform so you never miss an episode.

Apple Podcast | Spotify | YouTube

Connect with me: Website | Instagram | Facebook 

Join my Email list to get tips on navigating motherhood in the medical field.

If you are going through a transition -- becoming a parent, leaving a job, figuring out how manage it all, schedule a strategy coaching session and get clarity and strategic next steps for the life and career you want.

Strategy Coaching Session with Dr. Toya

Hey Doc,

Were you taught that patients lie?

I was.

Somewhere during training, the idea got planted that our job is to uncover the truth because patients won’t always tell it. Then I became an attending and started experiencing it myself.

You spend twenty minutes counseling a patient. You draw diagrams. You answer questions. You document everything.

Then somehow…

“Nobody explained that to me.”

“The doctor never told me.”

“I never saw the doctor.”

If you’ve ever walked back to your office wondering whether you’re losing your mind, this episode is for you.

What surprised me is that it wasn’t until I left traditional practice that I gained enough distance to see these situations differently. And recently, while helping run our HVAC business, I watched my husband experience the exact same thing physicians deal with every day.

A customer insisted he hadn’t been told something that had been explained multiple times.

Sound familiar?

In this episode, I’m talking about why these interactions can feel so demoralizing, why they contribute to resentment and burnout, and how a little compassion can sometimes protect you more than the other person.

Not because patients are always right.

But because carrying around the belief that it’s you versus them is exhausting.

In this episode, I discuss:

• Why “patients lie” may be one of the most harmful lessons we learn in training
• How being repeatedly questioned can create resentment and burnout
• The surprising parallels between medicine and running an HVAC business
• Why people often misremember conversations without malicious intent
• How documentation protects us when memory and perception don’t match
• The role compassion plays in preserving your career longevity

If you’ve ever felt unseen, misunderstood, or questioned after doing your absolute best for a patient, this episode is my reminder that I see you.

And I believe you.

🎧 Listen now.

What did you think of the episode, doc? Let me know!

Subscribe to ✨Stethoscopes and Strollers✨ on your favorite podcast platform so you never miss an episode.

Apple Podcast | Spotify | YouTube

Connect with me: Website | Instagram | Facebook 

Join my Email list to get tips on navigating motherhood in the medical field.

If you are going through a transition -- becoming a parent, leaving a job, figuring out how manage it all, schedule a strategy coaching session and get clarity and strategic next steps for the life and career you want.

Strategy Coaching Session with Dr. Toya