The Israelites try their hand at spycraft this week, sending people to scout out the land of Canaan. They steal some mutant grapes and bring back reports of giant people and tiny horses, which scares everyone so much that they wish they were still enslaved. God snaps, threatening to wipe everyone out. After Moses talks him down, God settles on some sneaky revenge against the whiners, who have to walk in circles in the desert for 40 years until the next generation of nepo babies is ready to inherit Canaan. But if you thought God was vindictive and petty, watch out for the Sabbath Police, who stone a guy just for picking up sticks. (Numbers 13:1–15:41)

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