In this final episode of the season, God brain-dumps the last of his laws while practicing his best flight-attendant voice and wearing his best pair of jeans. We hear that priests must marry virgins, can’t have any physical defects, and a bunch of other cringy, retrograde stuff that we’ve come to expect from this out-of-touch boomer. He also makes up some holidays centering on unleavened bread, trumpets, and self-loathing. At least we get to see an actual stoning after someone curses up a storm. God is also careful to point out all the cannibalism and anxiety disorders he will inflict on the Israelites if they don’t follow his many, many, many laws. (Leviticus chapters 21 to 27)

God’s call-in radio show pivots to cooking tips this episode, revealing his preferences for hooves, cud, fins, scales, and grasshoppers. Then God shows his germophobic side, laying down some rules about how to handle sores on your beard or when your bedsheets get icky – and the makeup department’s work on all of the diseased extras is not for the faint of heart! Aaron presides over a special ceremony that will remove all of the uncleanliness and sin from the community by gambling on a pair of goats. God also gives strict warnings against touching lizards, fortune-telling, and raving at a demon’s club. (Leviticus chapters 11 to 20)

Season 3 opens with God at the mic of his new call-in radio show, where he solves all of your sin-related problems. Accidentally overheard an oath? Sacrifice an animal! Touched something unclean? Sacrifice an animal! Trespassed on your neighbor’s field? You guessed it — sacrifice an animal! The priests get to eat all of the burned-up leftovers from these sacrifices, which works out fine until two of Aaron’s sons make God angry with their off-brand offering and become burned-up leftovers themselves. (Leviticus chapters 1 to 10)

Marcus and Deanna review all of Season 2: Exodus! They discuss God’s introverted tendencies, spread rumors about a schism on the writing team, reimagine the tabernacle, speculate on the similarities between Moses and a honey badger, and try to settle the issue of what’s up with Aaron’s leadership style once and for all. Plus, of course, find out the winner of the season-wide Weirdest Name competition!

Season 2 finale! The Israelites, led by head artisans Bedazzle and Fancy Drapery Care Bear, follow God’s divine Ikea instructions to finally build the tabernacle. Moses oversees the process under his veil while Aaron disappears into the background whenever God comes around. When the tabernacle is complete, God descends in a cloud, partly for dramatic effect but mostly to hide that he’s still in his pajamas. Whenever God isn’t clouding up the place, the Israelites break down the tabernacle and start plodding towards Canaan. (Exodus 35:1-40:38)

God (finally!) wraps up his long-winded presentation on top of Mount Sinai. Meanwhile, spurred on by the forceful head of the Hebrew Complaint Brigade and some short-term memory loss, the people demand that Aaron make a weird-looking statue of a baby animal for them to worship. Moses literally breaks up their party and administers some hardcore punishment, which is followed by a plague from God and a massacre by the jeans-clad tribe of Levi. Moses then leaves the disgusting ruins of the camp to attempt to coax God out of the closet. (Exodus 30:11-34:35)

God continues his very detail-oriented corporate keynote presentation to Moses. To add insult to injury, God names Moses’s brother, Aaron, as the first high priest. For this new role, Aaron will need some fancy linen underwear, a bejeweled Breastplate of Judgment, and enough bells to break his bird-hunting habit for good. Moses commiserates with Zipporah over text and discovers a shocking secret in God’s medicine cabinet. (Exodus 27:20-30:10)

God does his best Steve Jobs impression with a keynote presentation about building the world’s gaudiest tablet case. After coercing the Israelites into contributing to his Kickstarter, God specifies the materials and dimensions for a tabernacle, made of badger skins, show bread, and lots and lots of gold. While Moses takes diligent notes in God’s living room, Aaron adopts a cool hip-hop name and tries to consolidate his power. (Exodus 25:1-27:19)

Emboldened by his bestselling ‘top ten laws’, God tries his hand at creating some lesser ones. Peering down from his cloud at the top of Mount Sinai, God watches while the newly freed Israelites let loose at the First Annual Mount Sinai Music Festival. But they’ll need to sober up and follow all these new rules if they want to avoid a smiting or occasional sword stabbing. Thank goodness that God is going to give Moses two new tablets so he can download all this new content from the cloud. (Exodus 21:1-24:18)

Moses is suffering under the heavy demands of his job: sitting in judgment over every petty disagreement the Hebrews can come up with, and dealing with an ace prosecutor to boot. His father-in-law Jethro suggests he avoid burn-out by starting a sprawling bureaucratic pyramid scheme and taking only the biggest cases. God steps in to help further by staging an eardrum-splitting concert at Mount Sinai, complete with pyrotechnics and smoke machines. God then announces ten very important rules that the people should follow (most of which are about him), and some less important rules about abstract art and how not to build altars. (Exodus 18:1-20:26)