Stoneybrook Wine Club

For the final episode of Season 1, Kevin and Nikki give their livers a break and drink delicious green smoothies with Registered Dietician, Playwright, and all around cool gal, Maiken Wiese. Episode highlights include reminiscing about aspirational landline phone choices of the early 90’s (see through phone, lips phone, or Garfield phone?), the cut-throat world of Connecticut pageantry, and the completely buried lead of Dawn’s brother’s cross-country move. To wrap up: Karen is still annoying, Kristy has to choose between her (sorta?) feminist ideals and her love of competition, and the littlest Edie, tiny pagent-queen Sabrina Bouvier, steals everyone’s thunder.

Beverages consumed: “The Green Slop that Dawn Drinks” (IE: actually a super-delicious green smoothie concocted by a registered dietician- recipe to be updated soon)

Guest: Maiken Wiese

Books Discussed: #15 Little Miss Stoneybrook...and Dawn

For Episode 14, Kevin and Nikki are thrilled to welcome Joelle Parker, visiting all the way from Nepal, and the depths of Nikki’s past. Joelle had the privilege of being Patient Zero for the early days of the drunken Mallory versus Stacey debates when they went to college together approximately 1000 years ago. During the course of the episode, we unearth a Bearenstein/Bearenstain level paradox about Mallory’s supposed red hair, dissect exactly how sad it is that Byron has a ‘toy printing press,’ and most importantly, we celebrate the superior moping powers of 11 year old girls. As a bonus, we meet our first new (soon-to-be) BSC character since Dawn showed up: Jessi, who we’ll see plenty more of in Season 2 of the Stoneybrook Wine Club.

Beverages Consumed: My So-Called Ginger (We totally made this one up. It's just whiskey and gingerale.)

Guest: Joelle Parker

Books discussed: #14 Hello, Mallory!

We’re back with performer, activist and sophisticated (transplanted) New Yorker, Ariel Speedwagon, and saying a (very temporary) goodbye to another sophisticated New Yorker, Stacey McGill. In this episode, we drink New York Sours as we discuss Stacey’s Scarcity-Mentality Candy Fantasies (in the words of Ariel “Tootsie Pops, Stacey? C’mon! Dream Bigger!”) and the fun serial killer banner goodbye her friends make for her when her family has to move back to New York City for her father’s work. We discuss Ariel’s rare dual-devotion to the Sweet Valley High books AND the BSC, and fall down a feminist rabbit hole debate over doing versus being in gendered children’s books of the 80’s and 90’s. It’s almost like a real wine book club for a minute.

Beverages Consumed: New York Sour

Guest: Ariel Speedwagon

Book Discussed: #13 Goodbye, Stacey, Goodbye

Kevin and I are back again, missing our guest friends, drinking cheap Rosé while listening to the creepy clown music drifting in through Nikki's window. We break down the Single-White-Femaley-ness of Claudia's new 'friendship' with a groovy new self-identified 'sculptress' who's moved to town looking like a combination of Heidi and...Heidi. The many tangential paths we wander down include exactly who was the best 80's sitcom Dad and Nikki's neverending admiration of Night Court's Markie Post. In BSC news, we watch as the girls try to passive-agress Claudia back into a commitment to the club while cool hippie-chick Ashley Wyeth tries to fully embody the 'dignity' of a small town fire hydrant.

Drinks drank: The Ashley (really just cheap Rosé watered down with delicious seltzer)

Guests guested: None! Just us this time

Book discussed: #12: Claudia and the New Girl

In our 11th episode, brilliant director, friend, and issuer of pizza and dog wisdom, Noa Egozi, guests. Important update: Little Sister Karen still sucks. Now that that's out of the way, we discuss Kristy and Shannon's baby-gay stare-down on the cover, Oriental rugs as THE status symbol of the 80's, and sadly, how many dogs will die during the course of this book. Special mention goes to the 'Gingi' books, which were Noa's go-to growing up as a kid in Israel until she, in her words, gave them up for the sexy stuff. Bonus: Noa and her MFA try to dramaturg the Babysitter's Club and figure out: WHO ARE THEY TALKING TO?

Beverages consumed: Sloppy Old Fashioneds (We basically did a regular Old Fashioned, but I'm pretty sure we got lazy and left things out. Better recipe here: https://www.liquor.com/recipes/bourbon-old-fashioned/) 

Guest: Noa Egozi, who is mysterious and prefers not to be found.

Book discussed: #11 Kristy and the Snobs

In another episode double-date, we discuss Mary Anne’s burgeoning love-life with guests Stephanie Peterson (aka sister of Kevin) and Jon Butts (aka boyfriend of sister of Kevin). Episode highlights include dramatic readings of Logan’s old-timey southern accent, wondering whether Mary Anne’s dad is secretly dosing her with LSD, and all of us saying ‘bra strap’ in front of a boy. In other BSC news, Karen Brewer still sucks, and Kevin renames the series “Child Co-Workers.”

Beverages consumed: Fruit Punch Flavored Kool-Aid Bursts (Available for purchase here, but since they taste like day old gum in tap water, we don’t recommend them.)

Guests: Stephanie Peterson and Jon Butts (see their Insta-collaboration here)

We’re back at it, drinking grown-up Dark and Stormies while discussing the non-grown-up book, The Ghost at Dawn’s House. As we unravel the not-so-mysterious mystery of the not-so-ghosty ghost, we discuss nipples on the Bat-suit, the excitement of the old-school library card system, and what exactly constitutes a ‘Disneyland Daddy.’ Bonus moments include us trying to do math and a throw-back to these old movie-rating system posters.

Beverages consumed: Dark and Stormies (Simplest drink recipe ever. We didn’t even do the lime wedge.)

Book discussed: #9 The Ghost at Dawn’s House

Guest: Jennifer Carter

We’ve got guests again! For Episode 8, we venture into the world of remote recording and virtually host improv artists and adorbz couple Amanda Lee Williams and Brad Kloth from Atlanta, GA. We drink Silly-Billy-Goo-Goo-Juice (named after Claire Pike’s elaborate vocal tic) and discuss Brad’s supes-casual discovery and subsequent reading of all his sister’s Babysitters Club Books, Stacey’s sad future career as a Sea City Cocktail Cougar, and what constitutes true L-U-V. Episode highlight: Amanda’s 30-something year old wisdom to a young, starry-eyed Stacey McGill, played for our purposes by Kevin.

Beverages consumed: Silly-Billy-Goo-Goo Juice (ok, they were just fancy margaritas from this recipe)

Guests: Amanda Lee Williams and Brad KlothBook discussed: #8 Boy-Crazy Stacey

Our 7th episode is a bit more subdued, as Nikki and Kevin drink Barley tea, swap stroke stories, and generally miss the presence of other guest-type humans. Topics discussed include after-hours Stoneybrook featuring cockfighting, proxy-businesses, and opium; Claudia’s future as the probable inventor (or at least decorator) of the Snuggie; and whether Kevin is or is not a better lesbian than Nikki. Bonus moment: An impromptu and immediately regretted sing-along featuring Kevin and Nikki. Apologies to Shawn Colvin and other people with ears.

Beverages consumed: Barley Tea (You can find it a lot of places, but we got ours here!)

Book discussed: #7 Claudia and Mean Janine

We’re back at it with our guest, playwright and BSC super-fan, Theresa Giacopasi. Theresa uses her recent newlywed wedding planner wedding have-hadder status to shed light on the more ridiculous plot points of Kristy’s Big Day. Major debates ensue on hors d'oeuvres versus canapés, what exactly happens at Sizzler, and Kristy’s super off-brand excitement at saying yes to the dress. In a bonus hey-we’re-old moment, we breakdown Watson’s poor choices regarding heating and cooling his house. I mean his mansion.

Beverages consumed: Ma Maison “Champagne” (available much cheaper, believe it or not, than we got it, here: http://bestbuyliquors.com/ma-maison-champagne.html )

Book discussed: #6 Kristy's Big Day

Guest: Theresa Giacopasi