Today is the second part of this week's series on the key skills of stopping people pleasing. 

Today I reframe oversensitivity as hyperreactivity and explain why it is a much more useful and kind way to think about this issue.

Harriet Morris

info {at} theshiftinside.com

https://www.stoppeoplepleasingshow.com/

This is an empath's dilemma, set in an escape room. The question is: What would you do?

This is the first of a series of minisodes coming to you daily this week around the key skills needed to stop people pleasing.

Answer coming to you tomorrow!

Harriet Morris

https://www.stoppeoplepleasingshow.com/

Contact me: info (at) theshiftinside.com

Go to https://yourquiz.scoreapp.com/ to do the quiz: Are you ready to stop people pleasing?

Today’s episode is a look at Paul Thomas Anderson’s 2017 film Phantom Thread through the lens of stopping people pleasing. WARNING: SPOILER ALERT!

I talk about the lessons, as well as the ANTI lessons for you. This will be an especially important episode if you have ever got caught up in a relationship where there was a power imbalance.

For example:

• How easy it is to fall under the spell of a brilliant wo/man
• What the 1950s setting is a metaphor of
• An alternative to having power over someone else
• The meaning of Alma and Cyril as lessons and anti lessons
• Where boundary setting comes into all this

For more info on coaching go to

https://www.theshiftinside.com/stop/

Email me: info (at) theshiftinside dot com

https://yourquiz.scoreapp.com/ is your Transformation Quiz to help you determine if you are actually ready to stop people pleasing.

FILM OF THE WEEK

…is The Hudsucker Proxy, a total joy of a film that will put a spring in your step.

Are You Ready To Stop People Pleasing?

Today I talk about the difference between wanting to stop people pleasing and actually being ready. I give you a thought-provoking question to give you some clarity here. Don’t forget to take the quiz here: https://yourquiz.scoreapp.com/

Next episode will be a spoiler-tastic review the film Phantom Thread. Here's the trailer:

https://youtu.be/xNsiQMeSvMk

You can watch it on Iplayer if you are in the UK.

Better than I think at WHAT, Harriet???

All will be revealed

There is still time to get access to the Boundary Setting 101 week videos -  completely free

Watch masterclass 1 now:  https://www.theshiftinside.com/freed/

Film of The Week: The Half Of It, directed by Alice Wu.

3 reasons I love this film:

#1 It disrupts the rom-com cliches you will be used to

#2 Everyone is basically decent

#3 It pokes fun at narcissism 

https://www.theshiftinside.com/freed/ - yes it’s Boundary Setting 101 Week soon!

Today is a follow on from the last episode on overwhelm which you can listen to at

https://stoppeoplepleasingshow.com/24-how-to-stop-feeling-overwhelmed

The key to today’s teaching is to accept the invitation inherent in overwhelm.

I discuss what that could be.

QUOTE OF THE WEEK

Comes from The Language of Emotions by Karla Mclaren

MORE ABOUT BOUNDARY SETTING 101 WEEK

Q: WHAT IS IT?

A: Three free masterclasses to help you start setting empowering boundaries, even if you feel like you are no good at this skill. You can attend on Zoom or get the videos in your inbox.

Q; WHAT’S IN THE MASTERCLASSES?

Masterclass 1 ~ Turn Down The Volume on Your Fear of Setting Boundaries

Discover why you are already better than you think at boundary setting, and learn all about your fear centre. Something akin to a blind and stubborn bouncer living inside your head, your fear centre is actually trying to protect you by resisting setting boundaries. By the end of this session, you will understand how you have more influence over this part of your mind than you think.

Masterclass 2 ~ Setting Your First Empowering Boundary

Learn what the crucial difference is between reactive and empowering boundary setting. In this liberating masterclass, I take all the pressure off this challenge in two important ways that allow you to step into your power.

Masterclass 3 ~ From Struggle To Adventure

How to reframe this skill so that it excites you instead of fills you with dread. Step two foot to the side of the nonsense your inner critic tells you as we uses two powerful and inspirational reframes that will make you want to stretch your comfort zone.

Q: HOW DO I ACCESS THE MASTERCLASSES?

Make sure you sign up https://www.theshiftinside.com/freed/

You can attend on Zoom or get the videos in your inbox.

Ever felt so weighed down by everything in your life that you fantasised about breaking your leg, just to give yourself some time out of life? Well, I have. I talk about a more constructive way of lightening your load…

Today is the first part of two episodes where I explain three ways to stop feeling so overwhelmed. Overwhelm is a very common side effect of people pleasing – but guess what? You need to create some mental and emotional space to start showing up differently – and that means dealing with overwhelm.

POWER MOVE OF THE WEEK

…sounds so boring that I am not going to tell you what it is, but is so powerful that you won’t want to miss it once I explain why it is so awesome. Trust me on this!

TWO STRATEGIES TO STOP FEELING SO OVERWHELMED

#1 Filter very carefully what media you expose yourself to.

This is a very personal thing. Also, you may want to think about how you consume news for example. Print is easier to deal with than moving images.

Not all violent media deserves a blanket ban from me. I really got a lot out of Fight Club for example. Certain clients love thrillers – and so do I – if I have vetted them.

#2 Overwhelm Circuit Breakers

These are actions you can take to reduce overwhelm, whatever the root cause of your stress. Listen for examples of this, plus some uncommon wisdom about managing the stress hormone cortisol

RESOURCES

Boundary setting 101 Week

https://www.theshiftinside.com/freed/

Cavebrain episode

https://stoppeoplepleasingshow.com/17-what-is-cavebrain-and-why-it-matters-in-stopping-pleasing

One-to-one empath coaching:

https://www.theshiftinside.com/stop/

I am hosting an informal coffee chat on Zoom tomorrow Wednesday 28th April. It will last about 45 minutes. No cost. No need to register - just turn up. Bring your favourite beverage!

When is it? Because of the different time zones of my listeners, I'll be doing this twice - at 11am UK time then again at 8pm UK time

You can check the time in your own time zone here

https://www.timeanddate.com/worldclock/converter.html

Here are the links and passcodes

11AM CHAT

https://us02web.zoom.us/j/88918134729

Passcode 4321

8PM CHAT

https://us02web.zoom.us/j/87373610264

Passcode 4321

Why Do This? Because it is an opportunity to ask me any questions or discuss anything you hear on the podcast

Because I really enjoy meeting my listeners and getting to know more about what they want. I am obsessed with quality podcasting, so the better episodes I can produce, the happier I am :)

Because I often share about experiences that I would not talk about publicly

Because it will probably be really fun!

Because you never know what you might learn or think of as a result

Because I think it is is so important for us empaths to get together in a way that is super empowering

Google advantages of being an empath and you will get a laundry list of benefits: intuition, ability to connect, an understanding of animals and so forth. In today’s episode, I want to look at some lesser known positives which may get you thinking more deeply about this topic.

HEADS UP: LET’S DO COFFEE

I am hosting two coffee chats on Zoom next Wednesday 28th April at 11am and 8pm UK time. Check your own time zone. No need to book, just turn up with your favourite beverage.

You can get the link if you join the Stop people Pleasing Facebook group at

https://www.facebook.com/groups/stoppeoplepleasingclan

Or you will get an email if you previously attended a Zoom with me or have downloaded my free Lifesaver 10 phrasebook for empaths.

Get yours here

https://www.theshiftinside.com/lifesaver/

Interview of The Week

Today’s interview of the week comes from the brilliant Comedian’s Comedian podcast and features Dave Gorman. I talk about how Dave shares about the comedic power of vulnerability on stage

https://www.comedianscomedian.com/161-dave-gorman-live-at-soho-theatre/

I also talk about belonging and give it a slant that I don’t think you will have been aware of.

RESOURCES

More details about one-to-one coaching:

https://www.theshiftinside.com/stop/

Episode 2: What Is A Rebel Empath?

https://stoppeoplepleasingshow.com/02-what-is-a-rebel-queen-empath

Episode 17 on Cavebrain

https://stoppeoplepleasingshow.com/17-what-is-cavebrain-and-why-it-matters-in-stopping-pleasing

Email me : info [at] theshiftinside dot com

HEADS UP! - BOUNDARIES COURSE COMING

I am in the process of creating a course on setting better boundaries. At the moment I want your feedback. Here are the problems that I see block empaths from creating boundaries. Do these resonate with you? Give me your feedback by emailing me info {at} theshiftinside.com or join the SPP Facebook group (link below)

#1 I really wish I could stand up for myself, but I don’t know how

#2 It would be difficult to set boundaries with X, because s/he has a hard life and they really need me. How could I do that to them? 

#3 Setting boundaries equals creating massive conflict, which scares me

#4 I am resentful that people do not give me the time and attention I give them - why should I have to set a boundary? 

#5 I feel too overwhelmed to do this work, and end up stuck giving too much energy away. It’s catch 22.

#6 I am so hurt by how narcissists and energy vampires treat me, it’s kind of paralysing. Catch 22 - nothing changes.

#7 I can’t deal with the negative comeback I would get if I did set boundaries.

...................................

Lauren Amman Interview

In this interview, coach and ex-people pleaser Lauren Ammon shares about

*How her entire previous career – HR - was born out of people pleasing

*How her empath nature led to overwork

*How she changed to living life on her own terms

*Taking responsibility for the way she was showing up with others

*Her fears about changing careers

RESOURCES

Connect with Lauren Ammon

https://www.laurenammon.com/

https://www.linkedin.com/in/laurenammon/

Join The Stop People Pleasing Facebook group

https://www.facebook.com/groups/stoppeoplepleasingtribe

Lifesaver 10 download

https://www.theshiftinside.com/lifesaver/

Email

Info @theshiftinside.com