Yes, you heard that right! You can stop people pleasing by watching TV. Well, almost... Find out how you can use your favourite films and documentaries to lay the groundwork for standing up for yourself as an empath or highly sensitive person.

This is a continuation of the previous episode on Silent Agreements, but I give a quick recap on what that phrase means, so it will make sense even if you have not listened last week.

Today I’m going to help you become a detective to start to become more aware of the dynamics of other people’s relationships in films, documentaries and television shows.

This in turn will help you be more objective and discerning as regards your OWN relationships. A very powerful anti-people pleasing skill building exercise and all through watching TV!

I look at two very different pieces of television to do this.

RESOURCES

Find out more about coaching with Harriet

https://www.theshiftinside.com/stop/

Silent Agreements episode

https://traffic.libsyn.com/secure/rebelqueenempath/SPP19SilentAgreements.mp3

Join the Stop people Pleasing facebook group

https://www.facebook.com/groups/stoppeoplepleasingwithharriet

The Art of Misdirection TED talk

https://www.ted.com/talks/apollo_robbins_the_art_of_misdirection

Free Solo trailer

https://youtu.be/urRVZ4SW7WU

Email Harriet: info @ theshiftinside.com

Get your free Lifesaver 10 download here

https://www.theshiftinside.com/lifesaver/

Book Of The Week

…is Masquerade by Kit Williams

You can see the entire book online at

http://bunnyears.net/kitwilliams/

Silent Agreements

Imagine that every relationship (and I use that in the most general sense) is based on an agreement. Because most of our interactions are not made concrete via a contract, we enter into silent agreements with everyone we interact with.

Find out how this happens and listen to two stories of these agreements I was unwittingly in for a certain time in the past.

I give you two questions that you can ask yourself to navigate the silent agreements you may have set up.

RESOURCES

Facebook group

https://www.facebook.com/groups/stoppeoplepleasingwithharriet

Lifesaver 10 download

https://www.theshiftinside.com/lifesaver/

Hear all the episodes at

www.stoppeoplepleasingshow.com

Email: info {at] theshiftinside.com

This is an extract from an episode of a side project podcast of mine called Harry potter Saved My Life. It talks about how you can use this character from the Harry Potter series to help stand up to users and stop people pleasing.

Resources

The Stop People Pleasing facebook group

https://www.facebook.com/groups/stoppeoplepleasingwithharriet

Listen to all of the Harry Potter Saved My Life podcast episodes 

Email me : info {at} theshiftinside.com

Listen to all of the Stop People Pleasing podcast episodes

Think you are 100% at fault when you lack the courage to stand up to that user parading as your friend? Think again. Today I want to introduce you to a very important key to understanding why people pleasing is so hard to stop doing.

Meet your Cavebrain.

The great news is that once you understand Cavebrain, you can learn how to influence it

Film of The Week

Is Lars and The Real Girl, starring Ryan Gosling

https://youtu.be/XNcs9DrKYRU

Cavebrain

This ancient part of your brain is in charge of fight or flight. It also worries about if others accept you.

Cavebrain is always asking two questions:

#1 Am I in immediate danger?

#2 Does the tribe accept me?

Unfortunately, it is very good at misinterpreting things and that is where many people pleasing issues start. Find out more in this episode.

RESOURCES

Lifesaver 10 PDF

https://www.theshiftinside.com/lifesaver/

Email: info {at} theshiftinside.com

Social media can be overwhelming - but let’s not throw the baby out with the bathwater. If managed correctly, it can actually enhance your connections with others.

Today I talk with my friend and fellow empath Trista Ainsworth about the amazing turnaround she experienced in 2020. She went from overwhelmed to being able to powerfully serve her clients and feel more protected.

Professional organiser Trista shares the practical steps she took to reclaim her life from social media that you too can benefit from without cutting yourself off from the world.

RESOURCES

Connect with Trista and find out more about her decluttering club here

https://expansive.me/joy

Join The Stop People Pleasing Facebook group here

https://www.facebook.com/groups/498527804436886

Get your free download: Lifesaver 10 here

https://www.theshiftinside.com/lifesaver/

Invest in changing the world with KIVA

https://www.kiva.org/

Newsflash! Longer form weekly episodes return next week :)

In this minisode, I tell you about a great new word that will empower you when navigating the world of people who can so easily take advantage of you. No more!

I am also starting a new section called A Good Read or Good Watch.

Today I talk about Matt Haig's The Midnight Library

Get your free download Lifesaver 10 - a phrase book to stop people pleasing at https://www.theshiftinside.com/lifesaver/

Email me at 

info {at} theshiftinside.com

Cheers

Harriet Morris

Remember the old hit Smoke gets In Your Eyes? This story I tell you today is a rebuff to these sorts of tired old romantic cliches of pop.

A story about the scales falling from my eyes and the lyric from that song

Something inside cannot be denied takes on a completely new meaning.

Points to think about when the scales fall from your eyes:

#1 Don’t waste time feeling stupid in retrospect. At least you can see the truth now.

#2 Think about how you can show up strong when you see them again (there is a specific strategy to this)

#3 Forget trying to erase or solve the pain of the situation/reaslisation, and focus instead on building resilience.

Email me: info {at} theshiftinside.com

https://www.theshiftinside.com/feb-masterclass/

Today I share a story about a client who managed to reframe a situation and manage her hurt feelings.

Register for my free masterclass: How To Stop feeling So Hurt next Wed 10 February

Register here:

https://www.theshiftinside.com/feb-masterclass/

Is it possible to reframe difficult situations so that you can reduce feelings of hurt and resentment?

This masterclass will offer you a practical way to do exactly that. All you need is a pen and paper!

I will share a real life example of one of my clients and how I helped her not only feel less hurt about a situation, but more empowered.

I am a highly sensitive person, and so this has been tailored to help you work from A (“Why is this so damn hard? How could they do that to me?”) to B (“I can manage this. I am more resilient than I thought”).

Please feel free to bring an example to the session of a difficult situation that left you feeling rejected and resentful.

I will also introduce you to The Spiderman Flip. Don’t worry...No scaling of buildings required!

email info {at] the shiftinside.com

In today’s podcast, I dive into a topic I bet many people  have never even considered: can you challenge your own beliefs? If you had more empowering beliefs, would that change your behaviour around bullies and so on?

Also I have a TV show recommendation I think you will find interesting

RESOURCES

Fate: The Winx Saga is on Netflix

Stop People Pleasing Facebook group is at

https://www.facebook.com/groups/498527804436886

Find me on Instagram @stopeoplepleasing

Get your free Lifesaver 10 guide with 10 phrases to help you stand up  to bullies

https://www.theshiftinside.com/lifesaver/

The full Evil Exit article by Steve Pavlina is here

https://stevepavlina.com/blog/2014/09/the-evil-exit/

Find more episodes at:

http://www.stoppeoplepleasingshow.com/

Contact Harriet : info@ theshiftinside. com

This is a great lockdown stress hack to help you get through whatever restrictions are in force wherever you live.

This is how it works.

You need one hour – or 30 min if not.

IF YOU HAVE ONE HOUR

Split the time up as follows

10 min movement

20 min environment

10 min movement again

20 min reward

In this episode, I go into details about what these categories can be, but in a nutshell:

MOVEMENT – Whatever movement you can do in 10 min that makes you feel better

ENVIRONMENT -What will have the maximum impact on making your home less stressful? Is it tidying your kitchen, filing, mopping the floor, mowing the lawn?

In the episode I talk about the importance of the timer.

IF YOU HAVE ONLY 30 MINS

Just split the time up as you see fit. I suggest

10 min  movement

10 min environment

10   min reward

Free Guide

Get your free Lifesaver 10 guide with key phrases to manage bullies and stand up for yourself in a classy and elegant way.

https://www.theshiftinside.com/lifesaver/