Hypocrisy is the bane of every society. Selfishness and dishonesty are harmful enough on their own, but those ills are compounded when wrapped in the self-righteous pandering that insists that for some reason they don't apply to a particular person or situation. Except, of course, when we are talking to children. When speaking to a young person, you see, whose worldview is in its most impressionable stage, we give ourselves free reign to fabricate, cajole, and do anything necessary to get our way. Today's episode features something of a debate between Maggie and Jack about lying to children. Whether it's a harmless way to inject some wonder into the world or a selfishly cynical way to steal it away, there is no doubt that lying to children bears a serious weight on their outlook of the world. After hearing some tall tales about cold fire, we will spend some time evaluating the cruel indoctrination that is Santa Claus and the identically horrifying parables of world-spanning boogie-men.In case the editorial viewpoint isn't obvious, it's Jack who is writing this, from the viewpoint that you don't have to lie to give children a worldview that is enraptured in wonderment and hope. The entire point of this podcast is to show you how much the world has to offer. Every age and country is overburdened with fantastic miracles, and I don't believe it's effective or moral to whitewash human achievements with fabrications to "preserve the innocence and wonder of childhood." If they will believe anything, does that give us carte blanche to use that against them? I don't think so, but my word is not final. I want this to be the beginning of a conversation, not the end of a rant. So come on our darn show and talk to us! We grow by the diversity of our experiences, and by soaking up those of other people. Don't let my one, sullen viewpoint be the only one people hear. Share your stories, and give us more tools to grapple with the roiling absurdity that is existence.

Humanity's ingenuity is as inspiring as it is disturbing. It's that broad duality that we hope to present with our show, and today's stories are no different, delving into how twisted or creative mankind can be when pushed against a deadline. This episode will bring you well outside of your usual experience...probably, traveling from strip clubs to the inky blackness of space to the much less but not as much as you'd suspect blackness of children's toy design. Each story will surprise you with how far an object is taken from its original intended use, and one or two may leave you profoundly disturbed.But all of this is only the beginning to a tale that we need you to complete. So beyond listening in and telling your friends, please join us on the show! It's the only thing that feeds our complicated, nuanced, and deeply broken sense of selves.

Sometimes getting what you asked for is not a good thing. Sometimes it can be a curse, especially when your outcome wildly exceeds your goals. So today brings us some successes so beyond the ken that they wrap right around into failures again. Listen in and you'll hear about some people getting more than they bargained for, and not knowing how to pick up the pieces afterwards. We are going to hear about some dubiously scrupulous essays, the mortal danger of rabbits, and how far removing some bags can take a community.The message, as we see it, is that anything can spiral out of control, and likely will. Try not to bridle chaos, or it will quickly consume you. When it does, let us know. We need more tales of woe to fuel our twisted hearts.

Life is complicated. Its many nuances and intricacies can be beautiful but they can also be elusive. And all too often, they fly well over the heads of people. Sometimes deliberately. This episode will explore the consequences of taking the wrong meaning from a situation, sometimes to drastic results. Pedestrian tastes in foreign climes, a psychosomatic disease, and some rewriting of the bible are sure to entertain an frustrate in equal measure.If we can highlight anything here it's the importance of learning. The only thing more dangerous than a lie is have of a truth, and you will find individuals deliberately twisting reality to get to wherever they want. Be vigilant. And most importantly, give us more stories. We function on the good will (and in many ways, ridiculousness) of our audience, and we hope to hear more about you very soon.

Today we venture into some dark territory (uncharacteristic I know), discussing the complex and deliberate machinations involved in gaslighting. Once again I want to emphasize that though our podcast is primarily comedic, if you find the indifferent cruelty of life ironic and funny, we don't want to make light of the damage that gaslighting does. Something frustrating is how casually people throw out this term. It's not just lying to someone or disagreeing with them. It is a targeted tactic to erode someone's sanity. On an individual and societal level, it destroys your faith in yourself and your choices. Not only that, but it forces you to question your very perception of events, and more importantly to trust the perception of someone else. That someone else has engaged in a deliberate campaign to make you feel less safe and less sane, as a means of satisfying their own distorted view of themselves.But enough of the intro. Our first episode in double digits features devious camp counseling, suspect prophecies, and a cult leader with questionable practices. We hope you consider this just a start in a topic well worth researching, and reach out to us with some tales of your own. Further reading: National Domestic Violence Hotline, and resources on gaslighting

A curious yet near-universal truth about existence is how far out of their way people will go to avoid perceiving it accurately. The history of mankind's economy is arguably a long history of drug transactions, and today we will delve into a few of those transactions. I want to open up right here to say that there are innumerable complexities about drug use and addiction that, for the sake of time and lack of expertise, we don't get into today. Instead, we go for a few quick tales for the sake of fun, which if you know anything about us should be no surprise.Today's episode involves breaking into funeral homes, cheating at sports and some uncomfortable facts about prisons. We are proud to say that we consistently teach our listeners, even if what we teach them is the true depths of depravity and horror that is the human soul. Yet we know how much more there is to learn. So for those of you with tales of your own, please reach out. The biggest benefit of doing this project is preserving the greatest of our listener's histories that would otherwise be lost like tears in so much acid rain. So please get in contact, and give us more fodder for uncomfortably distressing humor.

Things sometimes spin out of control, and sometimes they do so with startling celerity. History is a mixture of large, complex trends born out of innumerable factors and small bursts of uncontainable chaos. Today we deal with the latter of these, learning about some scalped children, fashion riots, and some awkward misunderstandings about alien landings. There are many takeaways from these stories, but perhaps the most salient is the value of taking a step back when things begin to get out of hand.In the firm knowledge and subtle terror that you won't, tell us about it after the fact. We live and breath off of human misery, much like the common cockroach or the lowly billionaire arms manufacturer. Please give us yours, so that we can stare in awe at the dubious majesty that is the human condition.

We have all done questionable things for money over the years. I like to imagine each of you having a humorously uncomfortable flashback as you read that, but keep in mind that we are all joined together in our mutually sordid pasts. It's a mixture of youth and necessity that leads to questionable choices we'd all rather not discuss. (It could be worse of course. It could be memorialized forever, like Christopher Plummer's performance in Star Crash.) Today we get a few stories of poorly chosen summer positions, involving drugs and beatings and, worst of all, athletic wear. It's important to remember that the human animal has remained fairly consistent over the past few thousand years, and that some problems we thought buried persist, demanding vigilance to stall their recurrence. But this is only the start of our travels into the darkness and absurdity of the human heart. Please, help it continue with your own histories. We would love to have you.

Whatever your personal beliefs, you have to acknowledge that no worldview can be complete without understanding the reach of religion. Not just philosophically, either; religious bureaucracy has a powerful, expansive effect on world events, and we can only understand ourselves if we take a look at how. It’s important to emphasize that what we do here is intended as examination, not mockery. We don’t pretend to make no judgments about our fellow people, but the goal is first and foremost to get to understand them better, and ask if those judgments are accurate or fair. I hope all our listeners can do the same.This episode takes us into an Islamic school, insular Jewish communities, and homes for unwed mothers in Ireland. I want to caution that one of these stories is significantly darker than our usual fair, and if the deaths of children bother you (which is completely understandable) you might want to find another episode.If you want more episodes, you have the power to help, by telling us a bit of your history. Give us a piece of your cultural legacy, so that we can share in it. We’d love to have you.Interim report of April 2019, for those who want more information.Music from https://filmmusic.io"Professor Umlaut" by Kevin MacLeod (https://incompetech.com)License: CC BY (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/)

Much ink and blood have been spilt over starting out with preconceived notions; nothing can lead one astray more than acting on a belief that later proves to be wrong and, more importantly, failing to learn from it. Such is the value of an examined life, or in our case one spent amused at the failures of our forbears. There is as much entertainment as there is educational value in the sporadically sane string of events that brought us where we all are today.This episode presents an indecent proposal, a failed attempt at ridiculing a woman, and some dark material about the desperation of being poor and marginalized. For that last bit I want to stop and remind everyone that these stories, to the best of an amateur’s ability to research, are real, which makes them as poignant and hilarious as they are sometimes tragic. We tell these stories not to make fun of others, but to better understand ourselves. You are better knowing these things than not knowing them, and we don’t treat the plight of these individuals as a joke.All that said, give us your joys, your hopes, your tragedies in all their ignominious glory. So vote on your favorites, and share some of your own. We want to hear from you.Music from https://filmmusic.io"Professor Umlaut" by Kevin MacLeod (https://incompetech.com)License: CC BY (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/)