Straight Talk for a Curvy World®

Kelli Jaecks has been speaking nationally and internationally for ten years and is wrapping up work on her book Martinis and Menopause (out later this year). We're discussing bioidentical hormones to help unshroud some of the controversy you may have heard about them. To start off, bioidenticals are made from plants. This means they cannot go through the same vetting process that chemicals made in a lab go through. The FDA does not grade and test them. Even so, Kelli is a believer and has used them for ten years on her journey through perimenopause and now during her postmenopausal state.

Prescriptions vs. Over the Counter

A key thing to keep in mind about bioidentical prescriptions is that they are not done through a "one size fits all" method. You usually have a blood draw which comes back with a detailed screen of estrogens, testosterone, and other hormones which your prescription is then tailored to. Your bioidentical is made on site at a compounding pharmacy specific to your prescription, which is vastly different than other prescriptions you may have.

So what about over the counter bioidentical cremes? The main difference is in the dosages. The first thing Kelli tells women when discussing bioidenticals is usually to go pick up some from the store, like a phyto-progesterone crème. Just put some on your skin and see if helps you take the edge off some of your irritability. Another symptom these cremes can help alleviate is brain fog – that feeling you get when you can't remember what you were just doing, writing, or even thinking. Thankfully this is a transient symptom and won't actually cause any lasting harm, even though it may feel like it at the time. Remember, you're not alone; there are about 158 women just like you going through perimenopause as well.

Knowledge is Power

What's going on when your partner (or even your dog) looks at you the wrong way and you just want to bite their head off? Let's demystify some symptoms and behaviors you may have experienced. You have estrogen receptors in your brain and if you don't have enough of the hormone to fill them you can be left feeling extremely irritated. Serotonin, a feel-good neurotransmitter, is something that often has large level swings and can leave you very agitated when you don't have enough of it. Doing something relaxing and tactile, like walking outside, listening to a water feature or a favorite wind chime are good ways to stimulate release of serotonin. You may not want to hug someone, but if you do you'll jumpstart the release of more serotonin as well.

Don't be a hormone hostage! Be honest with your partner, that your irritability stems from you and not them. You're working on understanding what you are going through better so you can learn to cope with the symptoms.

Sex and Desire

Kelli was surprised when her desire to have sex waned during perimenopause. Going from a very sensual partner to being consistently turned off was a shock, and something that was not an option for Kelli. She had to find ways to turn her brain on so she could retain some of her sex drive. Thinking back to satisfying sexual memories is one way to go about this. Kelli also found a way to view sex as marriage maintenance, a giving for her partner. She changed her outlook on sex during times of low drive so she could stay in a healthy sexual relationship with her partner. Believe it or not, scheduling in sex on the calendar works too. So when your desire is diminished you can see that the date is coming up, and it gives you time to prepare and get ready in a way that works for you. Being a good partner means understanding what you respond to and what your needs are, so masturbation can be a key component to exploring what ways best arouse and fulfill you.

Sex, like anything, is a use it or lose it activity. Kelli and I are here to help you gain knowledge and empower you to get where you need to be on your own time.

Links

www.kellijaecks.com

My guest on today's podcast is the Certified Life Coach at Emerge Now Coaching. Christine Khetarpal helps women who are contemplating divorce make clear, confident choices. Christine learned the hard way, filing for divorce four times before making the final commitment. She offers all of the beautiful women listening to this podcast a free reassurance tool, 5 Small Ways to Bring Peace Back Into Your Life Even if You Have a Decision to Make to help you love yourself during a difficult time.

Why I'm Smiling on the Inside

Smiling On the Outside: Secrets, Sex, Shame and the Search for Self-Love is being released on June 6th, and then on June 8th I will be personally signing copies of my book at the Barnes and Nobles in New York City, yes, you read that correctly, right in the middle of Union Square! The signing is a free event. The only thing I ask of you is to share this information. Visit the Straight Talk for a Curvy World Facebook page, and share the event announcement or tell your friends. I look forward to seeing you there and discussing this important topic.

Emotional Pain in the Physical Form

During Christine's uncertainty about staying in her marriage, she began having chest pains, and suffered from shingles. At the time, she was unaware of the physical connection to her emotional distress. She recommends going to a doctor, but also talking with a trusted friend about what ails you. It may uncover that you have been trying to mold yourself into a form someone else wants you to be, instead of who you really are. Practice some self-love, and do some internal work, to help clear your mind.

Why Can't We Live the Life We Want to Live?

Many women spend a lot of time comparing themselves to other women. We see a photo or read a story, and we think the woman we are looking at has everything together. We wonder what is wrong with us, and why we don't have that certain something. But remember, when you look at a person's picture, you don't see a person's history, you don't see fear, and you don't see their anxiety. We all have a past.

Women need to talk to each other and say the two magic words, 'me too'. Because you are not alone and you are not crazy either.

"There is no safety in silence — only isolation and disconnection." — Ann Peck

There is Life After Divorce

It is much easier to settle than it is to step out of your comfort zone and into the life you really want. If you do leave your marriage, Christine recommends spending some time with yourself before you go looking for someone to spend your time with. It's more important to love and learn more about yourself than it is to run out and find your next knight in shining armor.

Send Me Your Questions and Your Stories

You can share your comments, questions and feedback with me at Annpeck.com or on social media @Iamannpeck. Send me a private email at [email protected] (I am the only one who reads it).

Welcome home, everyone. I am so happy to be back with you on the Straight Talk for a Curvy World podcast. My break was just a little longer than I had anticipated, but I took the time to line up some amazing guests for upcoming episodes. Today, Elaine Turso is here to tell us about her boudoir photography business, and to discuss body image.

Why I'm Smiling on the Outside

Because my book is done! My long-awaited book is complete and it has a new title, Smiling On the Outside: Secrets, Sex, Shame and the Search for Self-Love. It will be available on June 6th, 2017. I'll be sharing more about it as the launch date approaches.

A Quote to Kick Off the Conversation

"A person's success in life can usually be measured by the number of uncomfortable conversations he or she is willing to have." — from Tim Ferriss's book Tools for Titans

Body Image: The subjective picture or mental image of one's own body.

Elaine Turso has a rule in her studio, anyone coming in for a photography session must adhere to, they are not allowed to say anything disparaging towards themselves. She calls it being body positive. Many women have a hard time standing naked in front of the mirror. Their first reaction is to let their inner mean girl judge and criticize them.

But, Elaine wants to change that. At her boudoir studio, Elaine starts by making women feel beautiful by helping them to dress in a flattering piece of lingerie, then she elegantly lights the scene and she works to capture the woman's beauty, inside and out. She wants to ultimately capture their soul.

Women are subjected to unrealistic ideas of what a woman's body should look like and Elaine is saying, "enough."

Elaine has lived with a burn on her upper torso since she was 5. It took a long time for her to come into body acceptance, which she says, is a mind shift change. She tried to cover herself at all times at school. She was blessed with having very supportive people in her life. Elaine knows not everyone has that. She has finally accepted her body now that she is close to 40.

Using Photography for Healing

Elaine courageously shares her story of being violated as a young girl. She identifies with those who need healing and she tells a story of one woman who wanted to recreate the scene of when she was attacked. Elaine was charged with the difficult task of capturing the hurt and the trauma. "The Uprising of Annie" shoot was followed up by a video, in which the woman told the story of being robbed of her sense of safety at the age of 13.

Send Me Your Questions and Your Stories

You can share your comments, questions and feedback with me at Annpeck.com or on social media @Iamannpeck. Send me a private email at [email protected] (I am the only one who reads it).

Join the Straight Talk for Curvy World Community on FB and take the survey I mention in the podcast.

Thank you all so much for the anniversary messages you sent me to celebrate this podcast's one-year milestone last week. When you send in messages and share your stories with me, it validates that we are achieving our goals with this podcast. I know we are making a difference in each other's lives. You are not alone and You are not crazy either.

Today's episode is a replay of a previous episode with Monica Tarr. Monica's deeply engaging episode is a conversation worth hearing again. Follow this link to read the show notes from the original episode, Understanding Your Physical and Emotional Limits.

Don't worry if next week's episode doesn't automatically download in your podcast player, the Straight Talk for a Curvy World Podcast will be taking a short, one month break to organize and develop some amazing new content for the upcoming, Season 2!

Do you need to catch up on early episodes of this podcast? If you do, go to Annpeck.com. You can share your comments, questions and feedback with me on the blog page or on social media, @Iamannpeck. Send me a private email at [email protected] (I am the only one who reads it). If you would like to send in a voice recording, you can record a voice memo on your phone -including your name- and share your message with me.

Be sure to subscribe to this podcast and share your review on whichever platform you use to listen.

Today's episode marks the one year anniversary of my Straight Talk for a Curvy World podcast. I truly believe in the work we are doing here on the show and all of your generous feedback lets me know you believe in it too. To help me celebrate this milestone, I am speaking today with an amazing woman, Ann Sheybani. Ann was my very first guest on my very first episode of this podcast. During her episode, Sharing Secrets About the Stranger Within, she opens all the way up and shares her secret truths. Her episode is to date, the most popular and most downloaded episode from the past year.

A Great Writing Coach

Ann Sheybani is my writing coach. If she tells me I am ready to release my book, I believe her. Ann says there are many people who are not able to share their stories with the world because they have not yet dealt with their emotions around the subject they want to write about. According to Ann, "When you are writing about your past, your feelings come back to you as if you are experiencing them again..." She says, many people dissociate from their feelings which make them hard to access. If they want to write a powerful story they have to think about everything they were feeling at the time and allow the reader to identify with the why behind the what.

As a book coach, Ann Sheybani likes to form deep bonds with her clients. She wants the relationship to be a positive one for both parties. She will refuse a client if they are damaged or need more therapy than writing can provide. But she says, when a writer is ready to learn and to be critiqued without getting their feelings hurt, she can help them to uncover their role in their past situation. And, that is when the story gets interesting.

I Thought I Loved Myself

While I was revising my still untitled book, there were numerous epiphanies that bubbled up. One epiphany that really stood out was looking back at all the times I thought I loved myself. How do you know if you love yourself anyway? If I thought I loved myself then and I think I love myself now…how is a girl supposed to know?

Given the transformative process that this book has had on me, I realize it is much easier to be honest than it is to hide things. There will always be someone judging. It's unavoidable. The takeaway I want people to get from my book is to remind them they are not alone, they are not the only one, and they are not crazy either.

Send Me Your Questions and Your Stories

Do you need to catch up on early episodes of this podcast? If you do, go to Annpeck.com. You can share your comments, questions and feedback with me on the blog page or on social media @Iamannpeck. Send me a private email at [email protected] (I am the only one who reads it). If you would like to send in a voice recording, you can record a voice memo on your phone -including your name- and share your message with me.

Be sure to subscribe to this podcast and share your review on whichever platform you use to listen.

I continue my conversation with Carol Egan from last episode, where we discovered how a girl who dropped out of high school to raise her son, made it a priority to get her life and health in order. In this episode, we discuss her entrepreneurship, what happened after she got her college degree and just how far she will go to make her dreams come true.

The Root of Disease

Carol discovered she had a polysystemic problem, resulting in poor digestion and difficulty releasing excrement from her body. It built up so much fermentation and with it came fungus and an overload of yeast. So much, in fact, that it affected her well-being, thyroid and brain. Carol says allowing shit to build up makes your body acidic. An acidic body is a body in need of balance. To achieve balance the body starts depleting the bones of calcium and the muscles of magnesium.

Whatever it Takes

Working at a restaurant was squelching Carol's spirit. The universe told her it was time to focus on her business as a health coach. But getting the business off the ground wasn't easy. She went through all of her savings, lived with her mother and didn't have enough money for food. Worrying over her financial situation was diminishing her creativity and passion. Her behavior started to change. Then a friend recommended becoming a driver for Uber. She was hooked after her very first fare. She started driving long hours to make more money. And, because there wasn't a big enough demand in her area, she started sleeping at a rest stop and showering at her gym so she could be closer to the action.

More Than A Detox

Carol is not a medical doctor but she did graduate with a master's degree from Boston College, attended a nutrition program at Cornell University and is a certified health coach. But more importantly, she is committed to helping as many people as possible. She has clients who have gone off of mood altering medications, who have had their Autoimmune Disease go into remission and clients who have reduced their insulin requirements by 80%.

Carol's More Than a Detox Fall Program is accepting new clients. It is an entry level program that offers a lot of benefits. Visit CarolEgan.com to learn more about her one-on-one coaching, her half-hour free consultations or if you just want someone to talk to.

Carol will always provide affordable access to information because she believes in what she does.

Send Me Your Questions and Your Stories

You can share your comments, questions and feedback with me on the blog page of Annpeck.com or on social media @Iamannpeck. Send me a private email at [email protected] (I am the only one who reads it). If you would like to send in a voice recording, you can record a voice memo on your phone -including your name- and share your message with me.

Be sure to subscribe to this podcast and share your review on whichever platform you use to listen.

Today my conversation is with Carol Egan. Carol and I met online in a mastermind club. When she shared her story with me, I instantly thought of how courageous she was. It reminded me of the quote "Do you have the courage to bring forth the treasures that are hidden within you?" by Elizabeth Gilbert from her book, Big Magic.

It All Just Fell Apart

When Carol was just about to enter high school, her parents got a divorce. They had hidden any troubles they had from their children, so it came as a shock to Carol and her brothers. Her father then lost his job and crumbled to the point of moving to the YMCA and making it his home for a year. She knew she couldn't cope with the pressures of the private school she was scheduled to attend so she went to public school. In less than a year, Carol became pregnant.

She was sent to an unwed mother's home in another town, the father denied paternity and Carol, at 18, had to become an instant adult.

She Was Broken

Just after delivering her baby, Carol watched Children's Services take her baby away. She didn't know who to be. She didn't know how to fit everything that she was, into the situation she was in. All she knew was that her baby would grow up with her. After 3 months in a foster home, Carol got her son back. She got an apartment with money from her waitressing job and her son's father came back into her life. Shortly after moving in, he started to beat her. When she couldn't take any more, she got a state-provided mover to help her and her son escape into the night.

Waking Up

Carol went to school to become a hairdresser and worked to support herself and her son. Her mother gave Carol the family home to live in and everything was well, except for Carol's health. She was seeing traditional doctors and specialists for her chronic anxiety, her urinary tract infections and her myriad of other health issues. One doctor told her that if she didn't take the prescribed Xanax 3-times a day she would have panic attacks, which could lead to suicide. This woke her up. Carol knew she had to find someone to help her. She started seeing a natural doctor for her gut problems and she inquired about a college program for non-traditional women who wish to become students.

Life has never asked Carol to step up in such a big way, until she became an entrepreneur. You will hear about that part of Carol's journey on next week's Straight Talk for a Curvy World Podcast.

Send Me Your Questions and Your Stories

You can share your comments, questions and feedback with me on the blog page of Annpeck.com or on social media @Iamannpeck. Send me a private email at [email protected] (I am the only one who reads it). If you would like to send in a voice recording, you can record a voice memo on your phone -including your name- and share your message with me.

* This conversation involves sex talk, please be aware of who may be listening in with you.

My sister friends Charlie, Leigh and Felicia are back together again for an episode on Pornography. The four of us openly admit to having watched porn and for most of us, it is something best shared with a partner.

Jamaica Me Want to Touch It

In addition to having every porn channel available on DIRECTV, Felicia and her husband found themselves in Jamaica during Wicked Pictures' Pornography's Fan Appreciation Weekend. She shares insights from her conversations and interviews about the super-nice porn stars she met, including their secrets to playing it safe. Plus, she has photos to prove it.

Soft Is Better Than Hard

The ladies all agree soft porn is better than hard porn. The random pizza delivery guy showing up while the kids are at school or the Mr. Fix-It handyman fantasy scenarios are the best for foreplay. Some of us use porn as a way to spice things up and certain scenes may help with role playing activities. One of us hasn't seen porn since VHS was a thing.

Possible Side Effects

There are some couples whose relationships have been negatively impacted by porn. Most of us agree that when porn becomes a replacement for a human or for those who blur the lines between reality and TV, watching porn may be a sexual addiction instead of a method to reach arousal.

For people with existing body image issues or feelings of insecurity, watching the beautiful people have sex may take its toll on their self-esteem. Or, there may be instances of younger people who are not ready to consume pornography and their immature mental states are unable to process it as an adult activity. Barbara G. shares her story, of how pornography was a contributing factor in her family's predicament, in the When the Unimaginable Happens episode.

Send Me Your Questions and Your Stories

You can share your comments, questions and feedback with me on the blog page of Annpeck.com or on social media @Iamannpeck. Send me a private email at [email protected] (I am the only one who reads it). If you would like to send in a voice recording, you can record a voice memo on your phone -including your name- and share your message with me.

My book title needs amending. My book coach and some very good, honest friends told me the title I previously had simply didn't fit. I resisted and held onto the title for a long time, because I was emotionally attached to it. But, I am currently in the process of discovering a new title.

HuffPo

Recently, I had my first article accepted into Huffington Post. They accepted me as a contributor and when I sent in my first article named, 3 Types of Grief Everyone is Going to Face and How to Overcome Them, they added it to the Common Grief, a healthy living editorial initiative. If you would like to read it, go to the Huffington Post and search "grief", there you will find the original article. It's gotten a lot of action on Facebook and Twitter. If you know someone dealing with grief, please share the article with them. It helps me to know I reached people who needed to be reached.

One Year Anniversary

Believe it or not, Straight Talk for a Curvy World is coming up on the one year anniversary of this podcast! Only through your support and your feedback is this possible. I continue this podcast because our community tells me it's making a difference. I am putting together a very special episode for the one-year anniversary, which is in just a few weeks.

Send Me Your Questions and Your Stories

You can share your comments, questions and feedback with me on social media @Iamannpeck or send me a private email at [email protected]. If you would like to send in a voice recording, you can record a voice memo on your phone including your name and share your message with me. I would love to play it on the air. Visit Annpeck.com to hear all of my previous podcasts, read my blog posts and watch my videos. If you just started listening to this podcast, some great episodes to start with are:

Episode #40 with Lisa Van Ahn on Learning to FLY (First Love Yourself)

Episode #29 with Teresa Nutt on online dating and scams of the heart

My guest today, Penny Isaac Nelson, speaks candidly about an affair she had with an older, married man when she was in her 30's. Now 52, she has been happily married for 10-years, volunteers for the church ministry and creates a video series, Focus Forward, which assists women in finding a work/life balance. Her advice to everyone is "There is value in being single."

Record the Past as a Present For Your Child

Both Penny and I were the caregivers of elderly parents who have since passed on. We both agree that the things we appreciate most in this world are the recordings and journals our parents left for us. Penny still hits replay on a voicemail of her mother, and in a previous podcast I helped fulfill my mother's dream of having her story published by reading it to my audience. If you have an elderly parent I highly recommend making a video journal of them telling their stories.

A 5-Year Tryst

Penny met her older lover at work. They were teachers in the same district. Their first date was something they both had in common - passion for riding a motorcycles. It was only after their second date that the man told her he was married, but that the relationship was failing and a divorce was inevitable. Penny knew she had a decision to make.

Penny started bringing him to family events, and once she went fishing with one of his 5 children. Everyone in her family loved him, especially Penny's mother. And, even though their relationship lived in limbo, she had hopes one day of them being married.

Trust Issues

Penny knows now that she has been forgiven for what she has done as God called her back to serve him. She felt compelled to share her story with her church singles group in which her current husband was part of. She thought it was better that he know than to have it hidden. It was during this confession that Penny realized that even though God had forgiven her, she had never forgiven herself.

Penny says that being single is better than being with the wrong person. And, there is value in being single.

Send Me Your Questions

You can share your comments, questions and feedback with me on social media @Iamannpeck or send me a private email at [email protected]. Visit Annpeck.com to hear all of my previous podcasts, blog posts and videos.