Straight Talk for a Curvy World®

Sometimes people give us gifts which don’t always feel like gifts. Many times the gift comes in the form of anger, hurt, or sadness. What if we use those unwelcome gifts as a catalyst to lead a more fulfilling life? What if a character emerges who embodies the strength we always wished we had?

Nicole Fende shares what it’s like to be a math geek and a successful business woman. She also shares what it’s like to be an unplanned and unwanted child. She turns the microphone back in Ann’s direction to gain a clearer understanding of active appreciation and to learn how Ann has given herself the gift of forgiveness.

This episode leaves us with many things to think about.

Key Takeaways:

[1:58] A special passage for Nicole

[3:27] I always wanted to be in the Sci-Fi movies I was watching

[5:00] The Adventures of Captain Brenna Rain

[6:50] Brenna has always been inside of me

[8:08] I couldn’t be myself in investment banking

[12:43] My mother dealt with Alzheimer's for almost 20 years

[15:03] Nicole starts with a joke to describe her relationship with her mother

[17:46] Unplanned is very different from unwanted

[21:11] I never had the chance to her ask questions

[22:34] My daughter knows she’s loved and wanted

[26:28] I’m never going to fit in, so I decided just to be me

[29:06] The gifts from our mothers that don’t feel like gifts

[31:29] Human beings do the best they can

[34:39] Getting rid of the anger, even if the hurt stays

[36:11] Forgiveness is a gift we give ourselves

[42:11] Well behaved women rarely make history

[43:58] I give people permission to be themselves

[46:04] Prosperity

[48:08] Enabling a psychic vampire in a business relationship

[51:16] Women don’t have many empowering influences

[56:09] Tell your secret to someone you trust

Mentions:

The Numbers Whisperer

Straight Talk for a Curvy World

[email protected]

How to be a Finance Rockstar by Nicole A Fende

Many of us find ourselves professing we are fine when we are actually drowning on the inside. We find it difficult to love ourselves and we emotionally test others to gauge the limits of their love. By replacing negative influences with positive practices, we allow ourselves to own our feelings and accept all the good we do. We can then share our lessons with others. Shannon shares her story of her internal changes which resulted in a tool all women can use. Shannon created Polka Dot Powerhouse as a connection engine for women to encourage each other and to push each other forward in business and personal matters. It has morphed into a sisterhood.

Key Takeaways:

[2:14] Shannon’s response to her special message from Ann

[3:37] Who’s meant to be in our path

[5:23] Owning our feelings

[9:32] Daily practices include meditation, listening to positive interviews and writing

[11:49] Acceptance of myself

[13:00] My internal changes were hard for other people

[15:30] Testing the people you love emotionally

[17:41] I have a shield up and believe I have to take care of myself

[21:15] I started the magazine without knowing what I was doing

[22:12] Looking back on how struggles push us forward

[24:10] Women can be drowning but still say “I’m fine”

[25:01] Polka Dot Powerhouse was started under the magazine

[27:21] Readers wanted the magazine available in real life

[28:53] We are a connection company which is more than networking

[32:32] We get a ton of testimonials which remind me to reach out to more women

[35:00] Anyone can join Polka Dot whether you have a business or not

[37:48] Conversations at celebration were about growth in all areas

[39:16] Sisterhood of the Dots

[41:40] Unbridled support without obligation

[43:40] Celebration is a way to enrich your relationships with other Dots

[46:07] Become a member anytime, anywhere

[48:30] CURVYWORLD for $50 off your 1st-year membership

[49:24] Love yourself enough to accept all the good you do

[52:32] Ann finds Polka Dot to be of great value

Mentions:

Polka Dot Powerhouse

The Four Agreements

Straight Talk for a Curvy World

Queen of the Castle

Enter CURVYWORLD for $50 off your 1st year

[email protected]

@iamannpeck

Stepping into a new chapter of your life is difficult after a divorce, but if you use forgiveness as the stones of your path your journey will be easier. Forgiving yourself is a key component to moving forward and not dwelling in the past. Karen shares a very personal story which shaped her life for almost 50 years. She turned her pain into a passion and now guides others to their healing place. Inspiration for her comes from an unlikely source.

Key Takeaways:

[2:08] Ann reads a special passage to Karen

[4:06] Karen shares her private story

[6:32] Stepping into a new chapter

[8:07] Changing my view of myself from victim to victor

[8:39] True faith and forgiveness

[12:25] Detachment is step one

[15:20] Life depleting emotions

[17:11] I came back from broken

[19:50] Life coaches ask questions vs advice giving therapy

[23:10] Reach out to Karen via skype

[25:15] This type of guidance would have made things easier

[25:45] The Survival Series

[26:48] Both males and females struggle with pain

[28:35] Beyond includes dating

[30:26] Online dating, when it works

[34:09] Online dating, when it doesn’t work

[36:20] Texting, can you start a relationship this way

[40:20] Emotional availability

[41:57] Switch your judgement to curiosity

[43:30] Set an intention, not an expectation

[45:17] Finding inspiration in your mother, even when there are other issues

[53:21] Life is simple, everything happens for you, not to you

Mentions:

Jonathan Livingston Seagull

Journey Beyond Divorce

Straight Talk for a Curvy World

[email protected]

[email protected]

Caring for our parents can be one of the greatest gifts in life and one of our greatest hardships. You can never quite prepare yourself for the physical and emotional changes on the way. It is a challenging time which requires us to be many things to many people. We are the lucky ones spending as much time as possible with the people who gave us a life. We are not alone on this journey.

Key Takeaways:

[1:30] A special passage for Amy

[3:50] Fake it until you become it

[7:26] An unexpected compliment, a nice bike

[10:00] One day I realized I had a choice

[12:48] My mother never complained

[16:28] There is no right or wrong way about that journey

[19:08] You can never prepare for giving your Dad a bath

[21:48] Asking the difficult questions

[24:42] I knew no other way than to care for my parents

[30:15] The challenging aspect of being so much to everyone

[33:25] Asking for help

[38:16] When a spouse is part of the care

[45:25] The grieving process

[48:03] I lost my best friend - Happy Birthday Dad

[51:28] Re-inventing myself with MüD

[55:14] Amy’s taglines

[57:36] Sage advice - Life is full of countless journeys

Mentions:

Straight Talk for a Curvy World

Oh, the Places You’ll Go!

Nice Bike

MüD

[email protected]

Latina women are often told to tough it out and have the burden of keeping everyone and everything together. The alpha males in the family need so much care many latina women find themselves swallowed up by the larger unit. When things start to fall apart, aside from the guilt of letting down your entire community, a woman needs to take time for real and honest introspection. Being a writer gave Brenda her own voice. Being a journalist gave Brenda the opportunity to integrate information with experience to create meaningful stories.

Key Takeaways:

[2:20] A special quote for Brenda - resist or go with change

[4:04] Pushing the rope through my 20’s and 30’s but empowered at 40

[5:56] I grew up hearing “you tough it out no matter what”

[7:40] I’m analyzing what I bring to the table in relationships now

[12:36] Responsibilities based on gender in South America are very defined

[14:55] I avoid dating in my own culture based on my invisible scripts

[18:21] My mother knows not to fix me up

[19:13] Real honest introspection

[21:25] Differences in the North American and the Latin American culture

[23:37] As a woman it’s important to take time for ourselves

[25:53] Women in their 40’s get lost in the weeds

[30:02] Men have cycles too - They can go through “manopause”

[36:00] The face down moments give us the opportunity to get curious

[43:34] Growing up in a storytelling family

[45:35] You haven’t hit 40 without some skinned knees

[47:56] There’s a learning curve to figuring out what you will and will not do

[50:06] Integrating information with experience to create meaning

[52:20] If you want to stand out and rise up, tell a meaningful story

[54:53] Remembering the Muse - Learning to stop pushing the rope in the South of Spain

Mentions:

Writer in Florida - Brenda Barbosa

Straight Talk for a Curvy World

The Gift of Change - Marianne Williamson

Rising Strong - Brene Brown

@writerinflorida

: Most of us believe medicines will heal our illnesses. We do not expect a drug to exacerbate our problems so when one does it’s difficult to know it is at the root of the problem. Karen shares with us how Prozac caused a mania which led her down the dark hallways of depression, suicidal thoughts and the disintegration of her marriage to a good man. She has since recovered and sings jazz twice a week and serves as a spiritual advisor in the unity church.

Key Takeaways:

[2:14] A special quote for Karen

[5:20] An appreciation for sharing

[7:34] Being diagnosed as bipolar at age 50

[9:00] A changed diagnosis to Prozac Induced Mania

[11:12] Situational depressions led to Prozac prescriptions which helped me instantaneously

[14:08] Depression is more than being down, it’s also distorted thinking

[17:34] My husband noticed things weren’t quite right but didn’t know exactly what it was

[19:56] I am building a more stable structure in my life as part of my recovery

[22:04] My husband tricked me into moving out of the house which complicated my recovery

[25:34] My daughter will not be happy when we continue through to divorce

[29:23] I started to wonder about the value of continuing on in this life

[31:01] I was in such despair I thought my daughter could emotionally handle my suicide

[32:03] Mothers die and daughters cry

[34:22] Sometimes we feel we are the only ones going through these tough times

[37:50] My husband failed and let me down, but he’s still a good person

[41:40] A crazy person behaves in abominable ways

[43:34] My relationships didn’t go away people just said some really mean things

[47:36] Remembering the Muse - Spiritual practice

[50:13] Ann’s muse is a person

[51:25] Unity is the school of practical Christianity. I read a lot of unity authors

[54:23] I sing jazz once or twice a week

Mentions:

http://karengray.com/

Conversations with God - Neale Donald Walsch

Unity Churches

Lessons in Truth - Emily Cady

Emmet Fox

[email protected]

Detaching yourself from grief shortly after a loss is a reliable way to make certain you prolong its influence. Frequently, additional losses compound the grief and may cause other behaviors which eventually take their toll on your well being. And even though most of us have difficulty handling grief it seems men are more likely to bottle it up and not let it out. Jordan shares with us his recent reaction to the news about the loss of a peer and how he became aware of the value of living a more fulfilling life. This topic is one we all must deal with at some point in our lives.

Key Takeaways:

[1:35] Discussing the impact of death and loss

[2:25] A special quote for Jordan

[3:41] Jordan admits to his former cockiness during his imposter phase

[6:45] When Ann met Jordan in the coffee line

[11:10] I was looking for a place to eat and received an email my friend had died

[14:16] I was faced with my own vulnerabilities and impermanence

[17:53] Analyzing how much time I have left

[22:00] How important is what you are doing right now

[23:06] Considering the non practical stuff

[26:32] His death made it real for us invincible entrepreneurs

[29:47] It’s easier to detach yourself when horrible things happen to people who are different

[32:22] Why are we discussing this topic

[34:33] The relevance of covering grief and loss

[36:46] Guys tend to wall stuff off because they have no effective way of dealing with it

[39:05] When the grief finally hits

[40:07] We fight emotions as much as humanly possible

[41:44] We are all struggling to deal with grief

[43:14] Current grief brings up past grief

[44:56] The Art of Charm is an effort to give people accessible tools

[46:42] Happy people raise happy families

[48:37] I’d love to hear your thoughts, send me an e-mail

Mentions:

Art of Charm

Letters to my Son

Straight Talk for a Curvy World

[email protected]

When writing your first draft you may find the pages filled with venom and angst. And during your second draft emotions start to settle and an ounce of perspective is gained. Then behold your third draft, the home stretch, a comfortable place where deep understanding and clarity based on past experiences seem to write your words for you. Much like writing a book your life contains many drafts of yourself. You may seek exotic places with older men. You may take a frivolous approach to sex and you may lose yourself during the journey. Don’t fret, by observing others and uncovering your secret truths through writing you will find solace.

Key Takeaways:

[1:00] Freeing oneself through intimacy

[1:47] A thought provoking Judith Duerk quote

[2:55] Ann’s journey to adulthood using a man as a crutch

[7:40] Feeling trapped in different culture but not connecting with it

[8:30] It took going home to realize I was a stranger to myself

[11:10] I saw what I thought was an exotic lifestyle as horror through my friends eyes

[13:54] Access to an outside perspective

[15:17] A blind date led me to a writing degree from Harvard

[20:17] I love you writing job!

[20:55] Moving somebody through your story makes it worth the effort

[22:26] Using your blogs as bricks to make a good book

[26:47] An intimate question and answer session with a reader

[30:10] Are we afraid of arming people with the stake that may one day go through our hearts

[33:38] Writing the truth with accuracy and love

[36:02] If you want to write a book but don’t know what steps to take first

[41:26] Being detached from your sexual self impacts your ability to love

[47:55] Finding inspiration through environmental factors

[49:45] The Anne factor

[56:46] Finding solace while getting a runners body

[60:37] Morning pages get the flow going

Mentions:

Wild

Tiny Beautiful Things

How to Eat the Elephant

Traveling Mercies

The Black Swan

The Artist’s Way

[email protected]

You may know Dyan deNapoli as The Penguin Lady. Her book, The Great Penguin Rescue has won numerous book awards and has inspired a sought after educational travel adventure to New Zealand. In this behind the curtain interview, Dyan shares with us the gift of being with both her parents when they passed on and her challenges with intimacy due to the repercussions of a horrific drug given to her mother before she was born.

Key Takeaways:

[3:04] Inspiring other people

[4:23] Diane switches gears to fulfill her desires

[6:15] I made a decision and believed in it with every fiber of my being

[8:22] The transition from mammals to birds was an easy one

[10:07] Whatever I put my mind to I can make happen

[11:40] Dealing with my father’s Alzheimer's - the disappearing act of a gentleman

[15:04] The beautiful photo of my father and I beaming

[16:46] Being an orphan in your early 50’s

[19:43] Dealing with the new normal after a parent’s death

[21:12] There was no one wondering if I was ok or not

[23:34] I had the privilege of holding both of my parents hands when they died

[25:18] My mother was raised as a Swedenborgian - her golden light filled the entire room

[29:22] DES was given to millions of women and caused horrific defects in their children

[34:03] I had to have surgeries in order to have an intimate relationship

[37:47] Water soothes, solves and provides inspiration

[41:17] Curating a trip to breathtaking New Zealand to view penguins with Absolute Travel in NYC

[45:03] The key is to believe in yourself

Mentions:

[email protected]

The Penguin Lady

Circle of Stones

The Great Penguin Rescue

Absolute Travel