This week on the Straight Truth Podcast, we will be dealing with a very personal question from a young mother. Dr. Philpot shares that a young woman writes in sharing that she is married with three children. She recently became pregnant with a fourth. Out of shock and fear, feeling that she couldn’t handle another child, she did not tell her husband and then went and had an abortion. She now recognizes what she has done as a terrible and wrong decision. She sought counseling from others, but it hasn’t brought the peace of mind she hoped for. She still hasn’t told her husband and writes now to ask for Dr. Caldwell’s counsel and advice. Dr. Caldwell has been a pastor for over thirty years and has counseled many with biblical wisdom. What counsel and advice can Dr. Caldwell offer that might bring the peace of mind she longs for?
Dr. Caldwell shares first that he would start with the gospel. What he means by this is, does this young woman truly know Christ? Dr. Caldwell is not saying that genuine believers can’t make disastrous decisions. What he is asking is, was this disastrous decision a manifestation of failure where there is genuine faith, or was that decision a manifestation of the absence of faith. Does a believer’s reaction to a pregnancy, obviously, it shouldn’t but can it, include ‘I’m going to the abortion clinic, and I’m going to have an abortion.’? So it’s a good and important question to ask. Do you really know Christ?
Lots of people deal with God in a generic fashion. Their knowledge of God is generic. Therefore their knowledge of salvation and forgiveness is misinformed and generic. People can say they have asked God for forgiveness, but they don’t understand that in the biblical terms of the gospel. Those terms are that Christ died for sinners, paying for all the sins we will ever commit in full at the cross. The eternal Son of God took upon Himself an additional nature, a real human nature, so that He, as the Son of Man, died on the cross for sinners, has been raised from the dead, lives forever more, ascended to heaven, is coming again and intercedes on behalf of those who have trusted in Him. Forgiveness for sins for all sins, including this one, is found in trusting in Christ and Christ alone. There is no forgiveness apart from the shed blood of Christ. So this is the place we would need to begin. Do you really know Jesus because there is no forgiveness, no matter how guilty you feel or how many prayers you might offer if you haven’t trusted in Christ?
Assuming this woman is a genuine believer and has made an illy, rash disastrous choice, what now would Dr. Caldwell advise? He would say you need to know there is no relief from guilt without genuine repentance. You need to bring this sin fully into the light. It must be seen for what it was, you must call it what it was, and it is. It is murder. While you didn’t perform the procedure yourself, you sought it out and allowed it; you are responsible. So to have the freedom from guilt, you must see your sin for what it is and confess it for what it is. You must come before God and deal with this honestly, confessing this sin for what it is, then acknowledge that in Christ Jesus there is forgiveness of that sin and accept the forgiveness of Christ, that is real, full, and free.
As far as telling your husband, Dr. Caldwell says he would need to ask more questions before advising you to move forward immediately. However, he says that if your husband loves you and he loves the Lord, then you need to trust the Lord and tell him. He says, then he would say, with all these sorts of things, that together you need to go and see your pastor. This is assuming you are members of a local church and, hopefully, it’s a healthy local church. Dr. Caldwell asserts that this is where you should be shepherded, not by him via the internet. He advises that you go and see your pastor and let him shepherd you through this phase of your life.
The emotions and aftermath of our sins are many and varied. Feelings of guilt, shame, and fear are among the many things we might experience. So part of the issue here may involve the fear of going to your pastor. Maybe it seems easier to ask the guy on the internet. Maybe there’s a lesser degree of fear of exposing your sin to somebody you don’t know versus someone you do. Dr. Caldwell says he believes this comes about often as it relates to biblical counseling. It seems easier to go to this counseling center or group to get help to deal with your sins rather than talk to your own pastor about them. Many go to these because they don’t want to talk to their pastor about the sins they commit. Dr. Caldwell says he does not believe this embraces the New Testament concept of the local church, reminding us that God gave us human shepherds for a reason. If your church isn’t healthy and sound, then go find one that is. But if your church is, and you have faithful shepherds who are good and godly men, let them shepherd and care for you. It’s what God means for them to be and do in your life.
The only remedy for our guilty souls is the forgiveness of Christ. It is to Christ we must turn for forgiveness. When He forgives us, we are forgiven. When He cleanses us, we are clean. As the Lord said through the prophet Isaiah, “Come now, let us reason together, says the Lord: though your sins are as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red like crimson, they will be like wool.” And as Jesus said, “Come to Me, all you, who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy, and My burden is light.” Our God does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities. He casts them as far away from us as the East is from the West. He drops them in the sea of forgetfulness to remember them no more. His forgiveness is real, it is full, and it is forever! Do you know this forgiveness?
Related sermons
If you would like to learn more about these things, consider listening to the following sermons by Dr. Caldwell:
The Gospel as Preservative
Preaching the Gospel to Christians
The Nature of Abraham’s Faith
The Ugliness of Sin & The Beauty of Grace
The Only Hope for The Guilty Soul
Reasoning Our Way to Repentance – Parts 1 & 2
Distinction and No Distinction
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