In this episode, I take a moment to share an overview of…you! Several of you have taken time to write to me and it means so much. You, listeners, are a diverse, interesting, wonderful group of people and I appreciate you.

More transgender families:

• YouTube Channel: Great Scotts
• YouTube Channel: Jammidodger
• YouTube Channel: The Rage
• The Cut: My Husband is Now my Wife: Trans Women's Wives on Their Own Dramatic Transformations
• Chicago Tribune: Suburban Wife Loves the Person, Not the Gender, After Spouse Comes out as Woman

Information for allies:

• PFLAG Guide to Being a Trans Ally(PDF)
• GLAAD Tips for Allies of Transgender People
• National Center for Transgender Equality ally guide
• Human Rights Campaign ally guide

* * *

Get in touch, I'm happy to hear from you or answer questions.

If you would like to support the podcast, consider Buy Me A Coffee

Anger is one of the first and lingering emotions that occur when a spouse discloses that they are transgender; lingering as in years. How does one let go of that anger and move forward? In this episode, I offer a few ideas of where to start and it requires being willing to accept that it is time to make changes.

Mentioned in this episode:

• Waiting to Exhale movie: Angela Bassett car fire scene (adult content)
• Verywell Mind article: Victim Mentality: Definition, Causes, and Ways to Cope

Places to look for therapy and professional support:

• Psychology Today
• Coaching for Cis & Straight Partners of Transgender, Gender Diverse, and LGBTQ+ Folx

More transgender families:

• YouTube Channel: Great Scotts
• YouTube Channel: Jammidodger
• YouTube Channel: The Rage
• The Cut: My Husband is Now my Wife: Trans Women's Wives on Their Own Dramatic Transformations
• Chicago Tribune: Suburban Wife Loves the Person, Not the Gender, After Spouse Comes out as Woman

Information for allies:

• PFLAG Guide to Being a Trans Ally(PDF)
• GLAAD Tips for Allies of Transgender People
• National Center for Transgender Equality ally guide
• Human Rights Campaign ally guide

* * *

Get in touch, I'm happy to hear from you or answer questions.

If you would like to support the podcast, consider Buy Me A Coffee

After a death in my spouse's family, she has her first interaction with her dad in a very long time. Can someone who is unsupportive about their child's transition come around and realize that transgender people are just people? Possibly. For my spouse, her dad has taken a positive step forward.

Places to look for therapy and professional support:

• Psychology Today
• Coaching for Cis & Straight Partners of Transgender, Gender Diverse, and LGBTQ+ Folx

More transgender families:

• YouTube Channel: Great Scotts
• YouTube Channel: Jammidodger
• YouTube Channel: The Rage
• The Cut: My Husband is Now my Wife: Trans Women's Wives on Their Own Dramatic Transformations
• Chicago Tribune: Suburban Wife Loves the Person, Not the Gender, After Spouse Comes out as Woman

Information for allies:

• PFLAG Guide to Being a Trans Ally(PDF)
• GLAAD Tips for Allies of Transgender People
• National Center for Transgender Equality ally guide
• Human Rights Campaign ally guide

* * *

Get in touch, I'm happy to hear from you or answer questions.

If you would like to support the podcast, consider Buy Me A Coffee

My transgender spouse mentioned that she wants to be addressed as female at all times, including our past. For me, it doesn't feel honest because I have only been married to a transgender woman for two years vs. 13 years with a male. In this episode, we chat about the issue from both perspectives and ultimately, there is no real solution except to take it case-by-case.

Places to look for therapy and professional support:

• Psychology Today
• Coaching for Cis & Straight Partners of Transgender, Gender Diverse, and LGBTQ+ Folx

More transgender families:

• YouTube Channel: Great Scotts
• YouTube Channel: Jammidodger
• YouTube Channel: The Rage
• The Cut: My Husband is Now my Wife: Trans Women's Wives on Their Own Dramatic Transformations
• Chicago Tribune: Suburban Wife Loves the Person, Not the Gender, After Spouse Comes out as Woman

Information for allies:

• PFLAG Guide to Being a Trans Ally (PDF)
• GLAAD Tips for Allies of Transgender People
• National Center for Transgender Equality ally guide
• Human Rights Campaign ally guide

* * *

Get in touch, I'm happy to hear from you or answer questions.

If you would like to support the podcast, consider Buy Me A Coffee

I ask our 10-year-old son how he is feeling since his male-to-female parent, my spouse, had facial feminization surgery (FFS) a few months ago in December. Judging by his responses, I needlessly worried about how he would do.

Resources for Kids & Families:

• COLAGE
• Book - She's My Dad
• Book - He's My Mom
• Book - No One Owns the Colors
• Book - The World Needs More Purple People
• Book - It's Okay to be Different
• Book - Red: A Crayon's Story
• Transgender Reading List for Adults via PFLAG
• Books about Trans Parents for Kids and Adults via Mombian
• UCLA The Williams Institute: Data Regarding Transgender Parents (2020)
• Article: How LGBTQ+ Parents Can Handle Coming out to Their Children
• Article: Here's a Way to Start a Conversation with Kids...
• Article - Coming Out Trans to your Kids
• Article - Going from "Daddy" to "Mommy": What will I Tell My Kids
• Lambda Legal: FAQ About Transgender Parenting

Places to look for therapy and professional support:

• Psychology Today
• Coaching for Cis & Straight Partners of Transgender, Gender Diverse, and LGBTQ+ Folx

More transgender families:

• YouTube Channel: Great Scotts
• YouTube Channel: Jammidodger
• YouTube Channel: The Rage
• The Cut: My Husband is Now my Wife: Trans Women's Wives on Their Own Dramatic Transformations
• Chicago Tribune: Suburban Wife Loves the Person, Not the Gender, After Spouse Comes out as Woman

Information for allies:

• PFLAG Guide to Being a Trans Ally (PDF)
• GLAAD Tips for Allies of Transgender People
• National Center for Transgender Equality ally guide
• Human Rights Campaign ally guide

* * *

Get in touch, I'm happy to hear from you or answer questions.

If you would like to support the podcast, consider Buy Me A Coffee

In this episode, I share my real feelings about FFS before and after, and my spouse discusses how things look and feel two months post-surgery.

Articles and Resources for Transgender Health:

• Global Resource: World Professional Association for Transgender Health
• Transgender Legal Defense & Education Fund: Resource list for Trans Healthcare Providers
• UCLA Health: FFS Improves Quality of Life for Transgender People, Study Says
• For medical providers: AMA - Creating an LGBTQ-Friendly Practice

More transgender families:

• YouTube Channel: Great Scotts
• YouTube Channel: Jammidodger
• YouTube Channel: The Rage
• The Cut: My Husband is Now my Wife: Trans Women's Wives on Their Own Dramatic Transformations
• Chicago Tribune: Suburban Wife Loves the Person, Not the Gender, After Spouse Comes out as Woman

Information for allies:

• PFLAG Guide to Being a Trans Ally(PDF)
• GLAAD Tips for Allies of Transgender People
• National Center for Transgender Equality ally guide
• Human Rights Campaign ally guide

* * *

Get in touch, I'm happy to hear from you or answer questions.

If you would like to support the podcast, consider Buy Me A Coffee

Early in December, my spouse had facial feminization surgery (FFS). The day before her surgery, we recorded a brief discussion to share with you about why she felt she was ready for it, if she was worried about how our 10-year-old son might react, and any other concerns she might have. As someone living with a transgender person, I now understand how important this step can be toward treating gender dysphoria.

Mentioned in this episode:

• Stanford Medicine: LGBTQ+ Health Program

Articles and Resources for Transgender Health:

• Global Resource: World Professional Association for Transgender Health
• Transgender Legal Defense & Education Fund: Resource list for Trans Healthcare Providers
• UCLA Health: FFS Improves Quality of Life for Transgender People, Study Says
• For medical providers: AMA - Creating an LGBTQ-Friendly Practice

More transgender families:

• YouTube Channel: Great Scotts
• YouTube Channel: Jammidodger
• YouTube Channel: The Rage
• The Cut: My Husband is Now my Wife: Trans Women's Wives on Their Own Dramatic Transformations
• Chicago Tribune: Suburban Wife Loves the Person, Not the Gender, After Spouse Comes out as Woman

Information for allies:

• PFLAG Guide to Being a Trans Ally (PDF)
• GLAAD Tips for Allies of Transgender People
• National Center for Transgender Equality ally guide
• Human Rights Campaign ally guide

* * *

Get in touch, I'm happy to hear from you or answer questions.

If you would like to support the podcast, consider Buy Me A Coffee

Two years ago on New Year's Eve, my husband came out to me as a transgender woman. That was a dark day. But change is constant and this is the first year since disclosure that I'm looking forward to celebrating the day again. In this episode, I share what has changed in two years to reach this point.

Places to look for therapy and professional support:

• Psychology Today
• Coaching for Cis & Straight Partners of Transgender, Gender Diverse, and LGBTQ+ Folx

More transgender families:

• YouTube Channel: Great Scotts
• YouTube Channel: Jammidodger
• YouTube Channel: The Rage
• The Cut: My Husband is Now my Wife: Trans Women's Wives on Their Own Dramatic Transformations
• Chicago Tribune: Suburban Wife Loves the Person, Not the Gender, After Spouse Comes out as Woman

Information for allies:

• PFLAG Guide to Being a Trans Ally (PDF)
• GLAAD Tips for Allies of Transgender People
• National Center for Transgender Equality ally guide
• Human Rights Campaign ally guide

The rougher part of the holidays after your spouse or partner comes out as transgender: dealing with friends and family at gatherings or coworkers and acquaintances at events. Whether you attend alone or together, 'tis the season to set boundaries and prepare ahead of time so you're not caught off guard.

Mentioned in this episode:

• The Daily Show: Leslie Jones Stops your Annoying Relatives from Ruining Thanksgiving
• Them: How to Prepare for your First Visit Home after Transitioning
• Pronoun Pins: Human Rights Campaign pronoun pins , PFLAG pronoun buttons , Dissent pins, Etsy pronoun pins
• Song: Kenny Rogers, The Gambler

More holiday resources:

• PFLAG: How to "Ally" for the Holidays
• SF LGBT Center: An LGBTQ Guide to Surviving the Holidays
• USA Today: Coming out for the Holidays: How Families React Could Save Lives

Other stories with spouses or family members of a transgender person:

• The Cut: My Husband is Now my Wife: Trans Women's Wives on Their Own Dramatic Transformations
• Chicago Tribune: Suburban Wife Loves the Person, Not the Gender, After Spouse Comes out as Woman
• YouTube Channel: The Rage

Information for allies:

• PFLAG Guide to Being a Trans Ally (PDF)
• GLAAD Tips for Allies of Transgender People
• National Center for Transgender Equality ally guide
• Human Rights Campaign ally guide

* * *

Get in touch, I'm happy to hear from you or answer questions.

If you would like to support the podcast, consider Buy Me A Coffee

Let's start the new season of the podast with a portion of the holidays that you can control after your spouse or partner comes out as transgender: checking in with yourself. Take a deep breath, listen to yourself, and find something positive.

Other stories with spouses or family members of a transgender person:

• The Cut: My Husband is Now my Wife: Trans Women's Wives on Their Own Dramatic Transformations
• Chicago Tribune: Suburban Wife Loves the Person, Not the Gender, After Spouse Comes out as Woman
• YouTube Channel: The Rage

Information for allies:

• PFLAG Guide to Being a Trans Ally (PDF)
• GLAAD Tips for Allies of Transgender People
• National Center for Transgender Equality ally guide
• Human Rights Campaign ally guide

* * *

Get in touch, I'm happy to hear from you or answer questions.

If you would like to support the podcast, consider Buy Me A Coffee