This week on the podcast we watched the film "I am not a serial killer". A serial killer is revealed in a small midwestern town where John Wayne Cleaver works at his family's mortuary. Already a borderline sociopath who has an obsession with serial killers and death John begins to look for clues and patterns as to the killer's identity. The ultimate revelation becomes a catalyst for a string of events which brings the evil closer to himself and the people he is surrounded by. The end result is a movie that tries very hard to be a lot of things and almost succeeds at a couple points but ultimately left us wishing it focused more on some of the plot points it introduces but fails to effectively explore. As always, full spoilers are discussed however the "twist" is quite possibly the worst aspect of the film.

This week we check out the latest entry into the Star Wars franchise and prequel story for "A New Hope". If you (like every other Star Wars fan) ever asked yourself how the Empire invested so much money into a weapon the size of a moon yet left a glaring flaw which allowed the Rebel Force to destroy it in a single hit then "Star Wars Rogue One" will provide you the answers you seek. What is sure to be considered the darkest movie set in the Star Wars universe, Rogue One left us with some mixed emotions. The Star Wars nerds loved it, but the feeling was most certainly not unanimous. ***Huge spoiler warning if you still haven't seen this film as we cover it from start to finish.***

This marks our second Cannon film in the history of the podcast and just like the first it is highly recommended that you check out the Cannon film documentary "Electric Boogaloo: The Wild, Untold Story of Cannon Films" as a companion piece. "Superman IV: The Quest For Peace" begins with Superman attempting to disarm the global superpowers of their nuclear weapons. In an ill explained turn of events Superman, Lex Luthor, a strand of hair and a nulcear rocket shot into the sun create Superman's perfect rival, Nuclear Man. If it sounds as though the plot was hastily thrown together by a couple of Israeli film makers that frequently shot without scripts and created other such celluloid atrocities as "Masters of the Universe"...you'd be a bit on the nose. You'd also understand why Electric Boogaloo works as such a great supplement to this experience and have a deeper appreciation for this unintentionally hilarious entry into the Superman franchise.

In our first 2017 podcast we attempt to discuss the exGURUciating film "The Love Guru". Assuming the worth of a comedy is measured in laughs this film is a resounding zero. The story...is inconsequential as this is basically 90 minutes of jokes that were too shitty for Austin Powers shoehorned into a story about a Guru trying to reunite a hockey player with his estranged wife so he can get a guest spot on Oprah. We spend a hardy fifteen spoiler free minutes discussing this film and move onto a discussion about our favorite and least favorite cinematic moments of 2016. While "The Love Guru" is a pure shit storm, we had a blast recappng our first year of this podcast.

Our last podcast of 2016 was the romantic comedy/drama/crime thriller/murder mystery, "The Paperboy". If it seems like we can't decide on the proper genre description of this film I assure you all of those mentioned above are at some point fitting for this confused and incoherent film. With a stellar cast and some surprisingly good performances this should have been an enjoyable experience. Sadly the film is a disheveled mess and introduces so many different plot elements and needless side stories that there's no way to adequately describe what this film is or what it was going for. Needless to say the plot description is somewhat irrelevant, there are about twenty solid minutes of Zac Effron in his underwear, a very uncomfortable scene with Nicole Kidman fellating the air and Matthew McConaughey in a weird gay bondage gangbang/attempted murder. We'll let you decide if that piques your interest or if it sounds like you'd rather have the whole thing spoiled by listening to this episode.

This week we talk about one of the worst films in the history of cinema, 2002's "Rollerball". Rolerball is either a futuristic sport that no one can explain or a 90 minute ad for energy drinks disguised as entertainment. Jonathan Cross is an extreme sports enthusiast who is recruited by an old friend to play "Rollerball", one of the most violent and extreme underground sports ever created. Cross quickly becomes a star player until a series of events lead him to discover a maniacal plot to...make money by murdering players during games or something. The plot is so forgetable, the characters incredibly one dimentional and every directorial decision serves to fill the viewer with an insatiable and lingering rage unlike any film we've watched thus far. We can't substantiate this as the worst film of all time but I think we agree it's the worst film we've ever seen. This is a turd of spectacular proportions and we spoil the whole runny, sloppy, splattery mess.

Our selection this week is "The History of Future Folk", a film about an alien folk duo from the planet Hondo. Celebrated military leader General Trius is sent on a mission to destroy the planet Earth until while wandering through a hardware supply store he hears music for the first time. Determined now to save both Earth and Hondo it isn't until "The Mighty Kevin" shows up to assassinate Trius that Future Folk oficially comes together. I know how it sounds but you'll really need to trust that we have your best interests in mind. This film is easily a new favorite and behind the real life band Future Folk is a pair of extremely talented musicians. I can't beg you enough to watch this movie before listening to the podcast because it deserves to be appreciated and not spoiled.

This week was a fat shaming blast from the past as we watched the 1996 movie "Thinner". Based on a Stephen King novel, "Thinner" is a not so terrfying but rather cautionary tale involving the dangers of road head. After mowing down an old Gypsy woman with his car fatagonist Billy Halleck is cursed by the Gypsy woman's father to continuously lose weight. While at first elated at what this supernatual Jillain Michaels has done to him Billy soon becomes vengeful and attempts to hunt the old Gypsy man down to rescind the curse. This may be one of the few Stephen King adaptations that wasn't a made for TV movie but you wouldn't know that from the terrible acting, awful special effects and disjointed story. If you hate Gypsies and love blood pie...this film has nailed your demographic but be warned full spoilers for the story follow.

This week we examine the first attempt at adapting the beloved comic book franchise "Judge Dredd" to film. Starring the always incomprehensible Sylvester Stallone as the titular judge, "Judge Dredd" very poorly toes the line between serious comic book adaptation and goofy action-comedy. A stellar cast (minus Rob Schneider) and some pretty excellent visual effects still can't redeem this film which is widely regarded as one of the worst comic adaptations of all time. Still, it's hard not to enjoy certain elements of this film and a single viewing proved well worth it from the audio clips we were able to pull. As in all episodes we will spoil this film if you haven't seen it so...check mark obligatory spoiler warning.

This week we watch 90 minutes of Ryan Gosling doing the mannequin challenge in "Only God Forgives". When his brother is justifiably murdered by the father of a dead child prostitute international drug trafficker Julian takes action finding a wide variety of walls and Thai hookers to stare at. After his foul mouthed, domineering mother arrives in Thailand to bury one son and relentlessly ridicule the size of her other son's penis, Julian is forced to find more things to stare at until the movie ends. Scattered between the whole ten minutes of dialogue in this film are some very picturesque shots of Thailand, a few brutal and amazing death sequences and literally nothing else. If you've seen a picture of Ryan Gosling then this film has already been spoiled for you, now enjoy listening to us talk about how much we hated it.