Stumble Through

Dating has never been easy. Never. Which means it is one of the most interesting, absurd and hilarious human experiences to discuss. Now we live in a world where the logistics and a bunch of admin is done for us, but it’s a wild west of behaviour protocols and expectations. Of swipes, ghosts, strings of casual flings all messaging at once, serial monogamy, and “what are we??” texts to friends. In this episode we cover the pros, pitfalls, and transactional nature of dating apps, what the experience of dating can teach us about ourselves, finding someone with baggage that fits yours, and whether it’s easier to find someone online or in person (among many other things).

Bridget Morrison is what is commonly referred to as a Girl Boss. She’s a creative, co-editor of Kindred Zine, social media content creator and marketer, barista, and uni student. She is brilliantly funny and intelligent, and as in love with John Mulaney as I am.

In a startling turn of events, since recording this Bridget is now in a relationship with a gentleman she met on Hinge, and I’ve got a date with that guy I saw who made me think “oh shit.” So it looks like the universe or some such omnipotent force is having a laugh, and turning our lives in to romcoms. We have no complaints as yet.

Keep well,

-Paula

EPISODE NOTES:

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Turns out Bridget is not alonein her Tinder usage habits. According to Lendedu (a loan service in the US? Why are they interested?) over 40% of Tinder users mostly use it for ego-boosting procrastination, and they also note how unlikely people are to actually meet up with matches. Read more about it here https://lendedu.com/blog/tinder-match-millennials/

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When Brené Brown tells you not to do something, you listen. Stop working your shit out on other people.

Here’s a little bit more on that and some other points covered in her Netflix special on vulnerability and courage: https://www.newsweek.com/brene-brown-netflix-special-vulnerability-quotes-ted-talk-call-courage-1400956

And here’s a lot more on that from Brené herself, specifically in connection to leadership: https://brenebrown.com/articles/2018/12/04/leading-from-hurt-versus-leading-from-heart/

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First impressions are notoriously powerful, and it turns out that is doubly true in the context of deciding if you’re attracted to someone. Here’s an op-ed in INC about it https://www.inc.com/melanie-curtin/science-says-you-do-this-surprising-thing-in-just-3-seconds-hint-it-has-to-do-with-attraction.html

And here’s a broader look at the science of it all in The Guardian.

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2009/mar/07/first-impressions-snap-decisions-impulse

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Daniel Sloss’ Jigsaw is on Netflix and you should watch it, like, yesterday. Stand up comedy with belly laughs AND a TEDtalk segment. What more could you want?

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You can find Bridget here:

Check out her Instagram account here: Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/stumble-through.

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If you or someone you love has a uterus, then this episode is for you! As we mention in the episode, we are not medical professionals and you should get in touch with your GP if you have any questions or concerns after listening. We have done our googles, but not a PHD. Periods are bloody normal, bloody important, and honestly how are there not more widespread memes about it?

This was one of the first episodes I recorded with the wonderful folks at Brisbane Podcast Hub (an AMAZING resource for podcasters, highly recommend) and as I’m a novice when it comes to recording and editing, I had no idea what gain was. Until now. So unfortunately, this episode’s audio quality is not up to our usual standards. There will be a few more like this in the future I’m afraid, but I promise the content is worth it. Also, thank you all for being patient with me while I figured out how to edit things!

Jump on socials and let us know what you think! Don’t forget you can click through to read the full notes on the TNC website.

Keep well,

-Paula

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We talked about the colours of periods and what that means. Here is a super easy to understand article that’s got tons of interesting info https://helloclue.com/articles/cycle-a-z/period-blood-color-brown-black-dark-does-it-matter Here is a medically reviewed one on period a much wider range of menstrual discharges and possible problems they point to https://www.healthline.com/health/womens-health/period-blood And here is what the Australian government has on it (not much, but it’s a start) https://www.healthdirect.gov.au/menstruation

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PMS and period pain here is a handy and easy to navigate resource from the Victorian government https://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/health/conditionsandtreatments/premenstrual-syndrome-pms

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Period poverty has not been accepted as a phrase by any dictionaries, which is a shame. But in my understanding it is when people are unable to access sanitary products, usually for economic reasons, and are therefore unable to live their damn lives.

Read a very comprehensive article about it here: https://www.globalcitizen.org/en/content/period-poverty-everything-you-need-to-know/ or a shorter but completely Eurocentric one here: https://www.weforum.org/agenda/2017/10/why-women-are-struggling-with-period-poverty And on that note, if a Tory government makes sanitary products available for free in high schools, we could probably make it happen RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW, with our government.

I don’t know of any Australian groups that do the work that organisations like Bloody Good Period do in the UK, and honestly, let’s get onto that, yeah? The closest, I think, is Mums 4 Refugees, who accept donations of sanitary products, if I remember correctly. Find them here: http://www.mums4refugees.org/about-us

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Share The Dignity is the only charity I am aware of that specifically aims to assist women dealing with period poverty, you can find out more about them here Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/stumble-through.

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Self-talk is probably one of the most intimate and important things we can master for our own good. The way we talk to ourselves links to the way we see ourselves, and the way we interact with the world. It’s an aspect of our communication skills that we never get enough time on in school. This week I talk to the marvellous Johanna Lyon about self-talk, within a special context. In this bumper special, you get to listen to the first ever recording of Stumble Through. A recording I held back on releasing because of my own self-talk around it. I am really excited to show it to you, and of course to introduce Jo (that will be funny after you’ve listened).

Jo is a young artist passionate about laughing with others. Jo is most interested in discussing and unpacking why humans do what we do in areas of life regarding love, childhood and discrimination, among other things. She aims to achieve connection between strangers within her work. She is a truly marvellous human being that I am so lucky to call my friend. I am really glad I get to share this, and her, with you this week. Don’t forget to get tickets to her Short and Sweet show this weekend! They’re pretty cheap, and it’s an excellent excuse to take a trip to the Gold Coast.

Keep well,

-Paula

EPISODE NOTES:

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Here are those definitions again, courtesy of Merriam-Webster

Self-talk

talk or thoughts directed at oneself

Self-esteem

a confidence and satisfaction in oneself: SELF-RESPECT

Synonyms: ego, pride, pridefulness, self-regard, self-respect

Self confidence

confidence in oneself and in one's powers and abilities

Synonyms: aplomb, assurance, confidence, self-assurance, self-assuredness, self-esteem, self-trust

Self-worth

a sense of one's own value as a human being: SELF-ESTEEM

Self-efficacy (this one came from the Cambridge Dictionary)

a person's belief that they can be successful when carrying out a particular task: Perceived self-efficacy refers to people's beliefs about their capabilities to exercise control over their own activities.

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Immersion therapy, also known as exposure therapy, is cognitive behavioural therapy technique usually used to treat anxiety disorders. The American Psychology association defines it as “Exposure therapy is a psychological treatment that was developed to help people confront their fears… a psychologist might recommend a program of exposure therapy in order to help break the pattern of avoidance and fear. In this form of therapy, psychologists create a safe environment in which to “expose” individuals to the things they fear and avoid. The exposure to the feared objects, activities or situations in a safe environment helps reduce fear and decrease avoidance.“

Read more about it here: https://www.apa.org/ptsd-guideline/patients-and-families/exposure-therapy

And recently, immersion therapy has taken on a new meaning. Immersion therapy is now also a technique in which people with some disabilities (mostly movement related) and injury can gain access to movement by being immersed in water. Read all about it here:

https://mycarespace.com.au/resources/immersion-therapy-what-is-it-and-how-can-it-help

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Self-perception theory So I got this one totally wrong. I said it was this thing where people believed that they...

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In this episode Paula sits down with Ben Warren, a man who is genuinely the life and soul of every party. Ben is intelligent, kind, and a bloody good laugh. Which explains how he made our chat about paperwork bearable. Ben has so many beautiful insights into how travel enriches and challenges us, and I’m so excited to share them with you.
For a lot of millennials, travelling is basically a rite of passage. It is a gift to yourself in so many ways, but it’s not like the movies. Just because you travel across the world doesn’t mean you will find yourself, nor will it prevent your problems from following. What it will do is remove the distractions of everyday life and bring things that were floating out of sight into focus (which isn’t always picturesque). Perhaps that is the greatest gift of travel; giving ourselves the spaces and time to let the beautiful, scary things tugging at the corners to show themselves, and for us to sit with them. Mostly it’s the food though.

Keep well,

-Paula

P.S. This episode is a little longer than our usual ones, let us know what you think on Instagram! We’d love your feedback so we can keep refining the work to be more useful.

EPISODE NOTES:

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Passports!

You can renew, apply for, or just read up on Australian passports here: https://www.passports.gov.au/

As with all bureaucracy, be prepared to do this more than once because they WILL find something wrong with it.

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The Verfremdungseffekt (hard to say and harder to spell) is also called the distancing effect, or the alienation effect. It’s the use of techniques (usually within the context of theatre) to bring attention to the artifice of theatre (highlighting the performativity) and emotionally distance audiences from what they were seeing. Brecht took inspiration from Viktor Shklovsky’s theory of ostranenie which means “making it strange,” or defamiliarization, and I think that might be what I was thinking of?

Read all about it here: https://www.britannica.com/art/alienation-effect

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English language teaching- maybe don’t just put your number up at universities, go through an actual organisation and do your research. I have read way too many horror stories of people being scammed.

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So turns out only Neapolitan pizza has codified rules and regulations, and the body that governs it is the Associazione Verace Pizza Napoletana. And boy, are they particular; on shape, on diameter, on whether there are burnt spots. Mate, it’s a trip. You can find out more about them here:

https://www.pizzanapoletana.org/en/ricetta_pizza_napoletana

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Parisian bakeries, at least, are requisitioned by law to ensure a certain number of bakeries stay open to cater to the needs of their area’s locals. You can read more about it here in The Independent (which has a paywall, AND won’t let you view their articles while using an adblocker! Boo!) https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/europe/parisian-bakeries-requisitioned-law-protects-french-access-to-les-baguettes-during-summer-holidays-8762082.html

For this and more gloriously nerdy facts, check out Metropolis on Netflix. I highly recommend it!

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Heraclitus was a pre-Socratic Greek philosopher which...

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With our growing ability to sell anything through the internet, and the rise of the gig economy magnified by hustle culture, side hustles are the norm. I actually can’t think of a single person I know who doesn’t have one (monetised or not). And with the current economy, stagnant wage increases, and the lack of job security, it honestly seems like a great idea to find a way to make some dollarydoos out of them. Like, yesterday.

Zane is a graphic designer, podcast host and producer, actor, freelance designer, theatre director and producer, podcast and social media consultant, and a champion human being. This podcast would never, ever, have existed without him and the network. Above all else, Zane is a community builder; a creative who is paving the way for Australian artists to make cool stuff. May his mere existence reassure you that humans are beautiful creatures, and we are all doing our best to help each other. May it inspire us all to do the same.

Keep well,

-Paula

EPISODE NOTES:

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Bizarrely, I seem to have actually closed a tab for the first time this year. Apparently, it was the Guardian article about the case for having a hobby and not monetizing it. If you find it, do let me know!

I DID find these excellent articles on the subject if you fancy a little leisurely read:

Not Everything is a Side Hustle from Ann Friedman at The Cut: https://www.thecut.com/2018/01/hobbies-dont-need-to-make-you-money.html

The Case For Having The Hobby Without The Side Hustle by Heather Adams at Rewire: https://www.rewire.org/work/having-hobby-without-side-hustle/

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In regards to knowing what to charge for your work and services:

A quote which swam across my screen the other day that really resonated with me was “Believe in yourself. Under-confidence leads to a self-fulfilling prophecy that you’re not good enough for your work,” – Dr Roopleen. This is applicable in literally everything, but I think it really helps when considering how to price yourself. Aside from the basic maths of cost of materials plus labour hours, remember that you can always ask for a little more than you think you can, and finish with “but we can work something out.” Sometimes people will ask to work something out. Sometimes they will be happy to pay what you ask. Sometimes they will be shocked you don’t charge more.

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The main question in all of this, of course, is if you even want to. Contrary to what I thought when I first read that article’s title, there is enormous value in cultivating time for something you love. Hell, it’s actually an act of self-care to gift yourself the time and space to do something purely for pleasure. That is something that can feed you in many ways. So, think carefully before you try and make money out of it, because the relationship you have with it will change dramatically.

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You can listen to these podcasts Zane hosts wherever you get your podcasts:

One Third of Life

Disney vs Disney

Musicals Taught Me Everything I Know

Glass of Whine

A New World Order

And Then They Fucked

Mighty Motion Picture Rangers

Or check out the TWENTY SIX other podcasts that he produces through That’s Not Canon. My personal favourites include Floof and Pupper, My Songs Suck, The Humour Experiment, and Delicious Word Sandwich.

Look out for 24hr musical project next year here: Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/stumble-through.

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/stumble-through.

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Ah yes, not getting what you want. It can be pretty nifty in life actually. Failure, as we’ve said before on Stumble Through, is a big part of any process. In this episode we unpack how you can use failure, and the options you have when faced with it.

Steve Pirie is many things, all of them playful and tender and wise. I am so glad that I convinced him to sit down with me. You can scroll down to find his plays for less than $15 each, and then, in a way, you could also sit down with him.

Keep well,

-Paula

EPISODE NOTES:

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That Hemingway quote I thought came from a journal is actual from his memoir, A Moveable Feast. The whole thing goes:

"I would stand and look out over the roofs of Paris and think, 'Do not worry. You have always written before and you will write now. All you have to do is write one true sentence. Write the truest sentence that you know.' So finally I would write one true sentence, and then go on from there. It was easy then because there was always one true sentence that I knew or had seen or had heard someone say."

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We briefly mention stoicism, which is something I mentioned in a previous podcast (and am just a big fan of). Here is a fun TEDed video on it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R9OCA6UFE-0

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Brené Brown. Mate. She is a research professor, best-selling author, mother, wife, and reformed Shapr spray enthusiast. Go watch her TEDtalk on vulnerability right now, and then DM me your response.

https://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability?language=en

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Here is an NY Times article that gives a bit of an overview on Roger Federer and how he went from throwing rackets to maintaining championship titles: https://www.nytimes.com/2009/09/10/sports/tennis/10federer.html

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Imposter syndrome is something that I talk about a lot when I’m not behind a microphone, because it is sooooo pervasive. Here is an excellent explanation and analysis in Psychology Today: https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/blog/real-women/201809/the-reality-imposter-syndrome

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We mention some of Elizabeth Gilbert’s thoughts on creativity and money. Here is a little slice of what she has to say about making money OUT of creativity: “…find another way to pay the gas bill. When I was an up-and-coming writer, I decided very early on that I would be my own patron, my own studio wife, my own sugar daddy and that I would never demand that my writing provide for me in any way other than the only way that I know it always will, which is to please me and delight me and make me feel like I’m more than just a bystander and a consumer in the world.”

Read all of it here: https://ideas.ted.com/fear-is-boring-and-other-tips-for-living-a-creative-life/

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Oh, and if you’re wondering, I did end up buying Big Magic. I’m slowly working through it, and letting it work over me. There are a lot of underlinings and dog-eared pages.

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You can find Steve here:

Instagram (writing): Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/stumble-through.

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Within creative communities, there is a bit of stigma around working in an educational context. People can view it as lesser work, or a two-year maximum commitment. Paula talks to Matt Caffoe, creative director of Mashed Theatre Inc., about what working in different spaces can do for your craft, and what TIE really is.

That Ira Glass quote about the gap between your taste level and ability level, and how to close it, is a bit of a chunky one. Here is a link to it: https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/309485-nobody-tells-this-to-people-who-are-beginners-i-wish

You can find Matt doing stuff with Mashed Theatre here:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mashdtheatre/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mashedtheatre/
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC1PdfQtkgBr7E0kYskrdGBw
Website: https://mashedtheatre.com/

If you’ve stumbled upon us, don’t forget to review and subscribe to the podcast! It really helps people find us.

Produced by That’s Not Canon Productions. Graphics by Claudia Piggott. Music by Jessica Fletcher.

Subscribe to us on ITUNES, STITCHER, SPOTIFY, RADIOPUBLIC or your podcatcher of choice.

Find us on FACEBOOK or INSTAGRAM.

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/stumble-through.

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Social media. We’re all on it in some shape or form, but do we know how to use it? In this episode Paula talks to local social media maven Aimee about how she uses social media to run her earring business (High Key Obsessed), how it informs her creative practice, and can enable and build creative careers.

P.S In the podcast I mention a statistic I’d encountered last year, and totally misquoted it. Roy Morgan found that young women in Australia spent, on average, over two hours on social media every day. So, while that is not the six that I mention, it is still a fairly significant amount of time, especially as a national average. You can read more about it here:

Roy Morgan (2018). Young Women the Queens of social media in Australia. http://www.roymorgan.com/findings/7584-social-media-minutes-by-gender-age-march-2018-201805110812

You can find Aimee here:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/aay_me/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AimeeDurouxActor/

Youtube: http://www.youtube.com/c/AimeeDuroux

IMDb: www.imdb.me/aimeeduroux

You can find her theatre company Two Braids Collective here:

https://www.instagram.com/twobraidscollective/

And the pozible campaign for their flipping hecking goddamn brilliant web-series here:

Pozible: https://www.pozible.com/project/generation-why-pilot-episode

If you’ve stumbled upon us, don’t forget to review and subscribe to the podcast!

Produced by That’s Not Canon Productions. Graphics by Claudia Piggott. Music by Jessica Fletcher.

Subscribe to us on ITUNES, STITCHER, SPOTIFY, RADIOPUBLIC or your podcatcher of choice.

Find us on FACEBOOK or INSTAGRAM.

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/stumble-through.

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From now on, let us all assume that everyone (yes, everyone) is busy, tired, and probably stressed. Why? Well it might have something to do with all the priorities we are juggling. Everyone knows that this is a basic fact of adult life, but it's still tough to deal with. This week, Paula chats to Peter Wood about what we can do to better manage all the projects, work, appointments, and basic human needs like sleep and social interaction.

Peter Wood is an Australian-Indonesian actor and performance artist. Peter focuses his performance work on queer and Asian-Australian themes. Through his training of P.E.T method and passion for pop culture – he hopes to connect audiences to to the issues that affect the silenced. Peter was mentored by Lisa O’Neill, Anatoly Frusin, Brian Lucas and Norman Price; and is incredibly excited to be making his Robert The Cat and Metro Arts debut in August.

You can find the ever delightful Peter here:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/peterwood/

Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/Peter-Wood-2178304295767344/

You can see his work here:

Peter’s upcoming show Love and Information: https://www.facebook.com/events/1452137621589530/

Peter will be directing To The Cosmos, a show for School to Stage that will be on at QPAC https://www.instagram.com/tothecosmos.show/

Produced by That’s Not Canon Productions. Graphics by Claudia Piggott. Music by Jessica Fletcher.

Subscribe to us on ITUNES, STITCHER, SPOTIFY, RADIOPUBLIC or your podcatcher of choice.

Find us on FACEBOOK or INSTAGRAM.

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/stumble-through.

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We all want to grow, and to improve ourselves in one way or another. Growth is hard, and figuring out what advice to take on board to reach your goals is a MINEFIELD. This week Paula chats with Reegan Milne about how to find advice that is right for you, and sniff out someone who could be profiting off your insecurities.

Reegan Milne is a stand-up comedian, RAW comedy finalist, and may or may not have citations for his jokes.

You can find him here:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/reegan365/?hl=bg

His work: https://www.instagram.com/reegan365/

You can also see him gigging around Brisbane, come and have a chuckle!

If you’ve stumbled upon us, don’t forget to review and subscribe to the podcast!

You can follow us on Instagram as stumblethroughpod here: https://www.instagram.com/stumblethroughpod/

And on Facebook as Stumble Through Podcast here: https://www.facebook.com/Stumble-Through-Podcast-269167640447282/

Produced by That’s Not Canon Productions. Graphics by Claudia Piggott. Music by Jessica Fletcher.

Subscribe to us on ITUNES, STITCHER, SPOTIFY, RADIOPUBLIC or your podcatcher of choice.

Find us on FACEBOOK or INSTAGRAM.

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/stumble-through.

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/stumble-through.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.