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Most of our Town seeks shelter in the high school auditorium as a tempest blows through. Pan gets bored and decides to start an episode with the captive audience, and the school's new agriculture teacher (Brother Heathclyff) as a last minute guest. The show is starting to look like a dud when gasp there is a terrible murder! Can Pan and Heathclyff get to the bottom of this before the killer strikes again???
In the wake of tragedy, we may find comfort in music. Weather you seek a somber tune, or something spicy, Young Hound can make the tears go away (or maybe bring exciting new tears?). Check out his record Versions of Home on bandcamp or spotify or what ever sort of place you like. or scope out his instagram (@francisbaconbits)
Content Warning: murder, assault, stabbing, beheading, storms, lightning, frequent thunder sounds, coercive interrogation tactics, attempted drugging, numerous mentions of blood and gore, eye injury.
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Fall is here, but there is a bit of summer left in the air. And Pan certainly needs a vacation after all that nasty business with the Chuckle Hut, so their broadcasting remotely from the middle of the ocean this week. Tune in to hear their thoughts on various sea creatures, boat drinks, and cursed squid artifacts. Feel free to call in to tell us how you're making the most of the last few warm days this year.
FYI sleeping with the fishes sounds fun, but it's actually not a good thing and might be a euphemism or something
Content Warning: arachnids, specifically scorpions, death, dismemberment, blood, drowning, delusions, water based psychosis, possible inter-species romance, unreality, irresponsible parenting, poor first aid, gun shots
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Apologies to anyone who was expecting to tune into an episode of Subtle Frequencies this week. The Da Vinch Company has disrupted our broadcast with this PSA about their new pony-sharing service. Here's what they have to say:
"Da Vinch's new Pwn-E brand ponies are the hottest new way to get around town! They're easier than walking, cheaper than a car, and very easy to use! If you're interested in this revolutionary program, please listen to this PSA to learn some dos and don'ts for the Pwn-E brand pony.
Disclaimer: Da Vinch is in no way liable for any injuries sustained while using our product. Furthermore, you are extremely liable if any harm comes to our property. "
Content Warning: car crash, death via automobile impact, animal mistreatment/ implied death, human vaporization
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Picking up roughly where we left off last week, Pan, Two Guns, and Jeremy Lolipop face off against the perplexingly unmagical Rat King. Concurrently, Pam, Crystal Person, the newly-transformed Doctor Steal and Deal, ~Mr. Dazzle~, and Patch Spook'ems face deadly obstacles as they venture into the treacherous depths of the Chuckle hut. Does that not make any sense? Make sure to listen part 1. That might not help, honestly. But it's worth a shot?
Elsewhere, Boots Riley and The Coup inspire us to push back against the Rat Kings of the world. If people can just work together and maybe utilize some technology from the French revolution, we can make our way to a world free of Rat Kings. Hear more sick ideas and great tunes on literally any album from The Coup. And maybe give Boots a follow on the 'gram (@bootsriley)
Content Warning: exactly one uncensored swear word, numerous censored swear words and tasteless jokes, brainwashing, pervasive violence, car crashing, despair over the passing of beloved comedians, burning, drunkenness, severe medical problems, medical debt, gun violence, robot murder, complete nonsense
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Pan has been in this comedy dungeon for a week, and it's time to bust out. But how? The Chuckle Hut is dark and mysterious and full of dangers. Will they be able to make it out alive?
Back on the surface, our Town has descended into chaos. New Chuckle Hut franchises are cropping up by the hour, and the rats/ children dressed as rats threaten to overrun the townsfolk. In this time of crisis, is it possible for some kind of team to come together and save the day??
Somewhere beyond the surface, Peter McCory seeks to comfort us in this dark hour. We certainly appreciate that, but monsters recently learned to cut through blankets, and we are once again susceptible to their attacks. Oh well. It's the thought that counts. Anyways, check out his webbed site www.petermccory.com
Content Warning: semi-realistic war sounds, violence, imprisonment, brainwashing, enthrallment, abuse of power, rodent extermination, death and resurrection, nonsensical plots that only make sense to a few people, terminal illness, clowns, ghosts, hospitals, walking in memphis
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Sorry for depriving you of an episode last week y'all. You know how it is sometimes.
Have you been under ground lately? Between the caves, dungeons, tunnels, and basements, there is a truly baffling amount of space beneath our town. So, if we're ever going to find our missing friends Two Guns and Jeremy, we need to learn everything we can about subterranean spaces, immediately.
When you're exploring a cave and you come across a mysterious passage, remember to use your ears. If you can hear wind blowing and loud screeching, that's a terrible/ otherworldly horror. If you hear grunting and bones rattling, just don't go in there. Trust me. But if you hear the song WONDERING by Xiu Xiu, that's a sign you're heading in the right direction. Go to their bandcamp so you can commit that song to memory. Or follow 'em on the gram (@xiuxiuforlife), if that's your thing .
Content Warning: threats of violence, violence, burglary, murder, sword attacks, gunfire, kidnapping, lots of small animal sounds, rodent infestation, bats, rats, missing persons, satirical suggestions of vandalism, cults, lengthy but non-specific discussion of sex, eating raw flesh
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There sure are a lot of plants out there. Some of them are food. Some of them are poison. Some of them have magical properties that we don't fully understand. There's really a lot to sort through here, and our friend Holly is here to help! So tune in to hear Pan and Holly talk (mostly) about stuff that grows in the dirt, and the many dangers that stuff can present to you.
Obviously we're not mad at Rogue Conjurer for stopping time to insert their song Crystal Mountain Lives into the show this week. That was pretty cool, honestly. However, we are mad that they seem to have a lot of arcane knowledge that they aren't sharing with us. Try to uncover the secrets of their magic on the gram (@rogue.conjurer) or on their bandcamp.
Content Warning: prolonged discussion of spores and mushrooms, including possible trypophobia trigger at 21:15 - 21:20, murder (via stabbing), brief reference to burning, body horror, snakes, possession, funerals, poison, burglary, ceremonial decapitation, more body horror, unreality, hearing voices, demons, evil animatronics, unfettered capitalism
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This beef is getting out of control. It's bound to boil over into violence any moment now, unless we can come together and make peace. So, this week Pan is joined by mysterious wizard and owner of Belmont Books, Joe (Joseph the White), to work on building some bridges between us radio people, and the book lovers. If, by the end of this broadcast, you're still confused by/ afraid of/ angry at books, consider visiting Belmont Books. Joe will probably be happy to show you that books are just bits of paper with words and pictures on them.
Chez, if you're reading this, I want you to know that we love PICKITUP!, but you're not allowed to hide full ska tunes in your ad spots. I'd be more disappointed if it wasn't such a banger. So thank you, Chez, for introducing me to the song Call Your Bluff by Catbite. Check them out on catbite.net or on various social medias (@catbiteband).
Content Warning: multiple threats of violence, threat of human sacrifice, blasphemy, puritanical censorship, discussion of erotica, harry potter, ska, theatrical gang violence.
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COMING THIS SUMMER: Two Guns Glover is our town's last line of defense against the dangers of foodborne illness. Can one man stand up against the dark underbelly of our restaurant scene? Not without some help from the community. And that's where we come in. This week, Pan is sitting down with Two Guns to dig into some important questions like "What stuff is good to eat?" and "Can I eat a goblin??". Obviously, you should NOT eat a goblin, but some of the other questions are trickier. So stay tuned!
Somewhere on east Belmont, a man sold me a disc that he guaranteed was "hot fire". I thought it would be something like a Taco Castle spicy chicken quesadilla, but it turned out to be the incredibly inedible Hollow Kings by Micotropics, which isn't tasty in the literal sense, but IS a tasty jam. Listen to it several more times on spotify, and perhaps check out their 'gram (@micotropics)
Content Warning: this one's got a bad word in it, pervasive discussion of things you should not eat, discussion of cannibalism, lots of vore-related stuff, unhealthy desire to be eaten in a more visceral way, consuming toxic mushrooms, multiple animal deaths, dissection, body horror, unethical meat acquisition, attempted killing of sentient creatures, bird attacks
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