From their homes, Kareem and Rachel get down to brass tacks on vanish mode, signing documents, executive dysfunction, living alone, boarding schools, Rachel’s Carrie Bradshaw era, the West Village Girl phenomenon, Kareem’s old website, “real jobs,” the dynamics of the group chat and its accompanying drama, friendship fallout, national security issues, the amazing Zach Schiffman, the names of group chats, purpose-based group chats, the dream group chat, herniated discs, aspiring to chef levels, and, as always, Takes on Takes©. 

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From their home studios, Kareem and Jay revisit banana hammocks, saying “congratulations” for birthdays, what Jay calls “summertime penis,” the politics of a Speedo, the dongs of various Greek gods, Lenny Kravitz’s ever-present bulge (and infamous dick slip), the demographics of what we’re calling “the hat draft,” funky ass white boys, the great new band The Paradox, aging into our true selves, the merits of customer loyalty, mushrooms as Unc drug, a defense of bisexuals, the FUBU resurgence, and–as always–Takes on Takes©.

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From their home studios, Kareem and Paul re-litigate how Heinz is the best ketchup of all time and why fries must be included with the price of a burger. They also dig into bald-guy and gap-tooth representation (does David Letterman have a gap?), fashion tips for aging cool guys, wasting time in the gym, what are Miracle Whip, Clamato, and club soda exactly, the Italian race debate, Paul’s ties to the mafia, the importance of a butter bell, pancake strategy, cooking for their children, accidentally ordering bottle service, and–as always–Takes on Takes©. Also: why is Heinz ghosting Kareem and Paul after offering a trip to their ketchup factory?

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"Fundamentally, everyone is a good person!" Kareem and Ramy continue on the train, grab a meal at IBN Hamido in Astoria, Queens and and talk about finally peeing after you've been holding it for too long, probiotic yogurt causing sharts, Ramy's new animated show #1 Happy Family USA on Prime Video, turning into a dad with manic energy, babies eating sea bass and wagyu, maximizing the Chinese buffet, getting your beans confiscated at customs, Kebab Dylan, Ramy looking like Bad Bunny, how everyone can use a thousand bucks, going to Egypt every year, Ramy Salami, non-muslim people saying inshallah, mom-aganda, calling international with phone cards, Kareem getting the black lung by being underground so much, having a hot wife is haram and other stuff.

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From their homes, Kareem and Abdullah also discuss NYC smelling like worms, slugs are unhoused snails, Abdullah's alt take that was "we should make farting socially acceptable" but it had already done, two cat households, Kareem needing a bodyguard, brown guys at Vice, what it felt like when Abdullah got the phone call greenlighting his show Deli Boys, eating shit sandwiches in Hollywood, deciding to being the mysterious strong silent type at 34, America rewarding assholes, Abdullah's take was mansplaining, when your therapist is also your couple’s therapist, debuting the new sting for our weekly segment TAKES ON TAKES, no shoes households, Kareem getting cast for Deli Boys Season 2 and other stuff.

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From their homes, Kareem and Joyelle also discuss White spicy, Black Las Vegas, Kareem v. Karim v. Krem, Oprah v. Orpah, being North African American, Italians are white, everyone should be forced to work as a server for a while, omakase, eating everything with chopsticks, all men wishing they were standup comedians, rawdogging life with no therapy, being head of social media for the Army, monoculture, how most coffee shops are bad now, calling your mom a b*tch and other stuff.

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From their homes, Kareem and Hari also discuss how Florida is America's dick, Trump-style takes, the Dakotas don't have enough people, odd numbers, Kareem doesn't know state capitals, land acknowledgements, square shaped states, states that are mid, people wearing shoes inside is a colonial mindset, it's never too late for butt stuff, Al Cowlings, nondiscriminatory racists, Kareem going to tanning salons and other stuff.

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"Queens is the KING of all Boroughs!" Kareem and Nigel continue on the train and talk about drifting his bike at 4yrs old in his grandmother's driveway, signing with the legend Dave Mirra, going viral on YouTube, how "selling out" isn't a thing, the Brooklyn Banks, riding his bike 40hrs a week, sending emails and doing zooms, Nigel's iconic subway platform jump photo, time lengths on therapy, Paris, his new Air Jordan collab, custom Rimowa cases for his bike, immigrant parents and other stuff.

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"Leaf blowers need to be eradicated from the face of the earth!!" Kareem and Cate continue on the train and talk about blowing v. sucking, Kareem's sunglasses as camouflage, Cate wearing white sneakers but still being a real fornicator, Feluccas, her new movie Black Bag, Kareem being the most famous mole man in NYC, Cate disliking dirty glasses, the Australian epidemic in NYC and other stuff.  

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"Young people have such an important role to play but they don't know how to play it!!" Kareem and Jane continue on the train and talk about Jane's good legs, Laura Dern, Kareem being cast as Jane in a movie, Kareem not looking like any of Jane's two husbands, inspiring young people to be activists, dogs as emotional beings, spirituality, rat intelligence, the existence of bigfoot, voting for the future and other stuff. Plus, a behind-the-scenes chat with SubwayTakes co-creator Andrew Kuo.

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