The things you feel. The things you have experienced. What seems to overwhelm you and weigh you down. All of that isn’t you. The anxiety, the depression, the trauma. It doesn’t define you.

Shahara Crist, founder of STRiV Forward, grew up with a heavy pressure to gain a good education and do well in life. That plan seemed to be right on track when she received a full ride scholarship to college, until she had a traumatic experience in the beginning of her freshman year. From then on, things began to unravel quickly and that trauma stuck with her in the years following. She tried coping with substances, finding friends, transferring colleges, and nothing changed. It wasn’t until she got a job at a residential recovery center when things turned around for Shahara and her passion for young adults sparked. After years of working with clinically complex adolescents and young adults, Shahara started her young adult transition program called STRiV Forward.

On this episode of Success is Subjective, Shahara joins Joanna to share her experience as she dealt with intense trauma with the added pressure of college, to eventually find herself at a job that would help her find the healing she longed for, allowing her to give back to others. Shahara is proud to say that the break she took in college to pursue her passion allowed her to not only change the lives of others but also become a business owner without a college degree. Listen in for Shahara’s insight on the importance of not allowing your struggles define you and silence you. 

What You Will Learn

The big emphasis on education in the family

The expectation to have a full ride to school

Dealing with a traumatic experience while in college

The struggle of not having the necessary life skills needed to live away from home

Getting into the wrong crowd 

As a parent, the importance of trusting your child, and still verifying grades

Shame and hiding the truth of the struggle 

The process of Shahara telling her parents how things have unraveled in her life 

Transferring colleges without help 

Academic Advisors as resources

That life isn’t a linear line from A to B 

Taking a break from college to pursue her passion with her job

College can wait!

Shahara’s life changing experience in the wilderness

Becoming a business owner of a young adult transition program

Mental Health off-campus 

Connect with Shahara Crist

Shahara Crist of STRiV Forward 

Call 385-283-1100

Email [email protected] 

Connect with Joanna Lilley  

Lilley Consulting

Lilley Consulting on Instagram 

Lilley Consulting on Facebook 

Sponsored by: www.ParentTrainers.com

Email [email protected]

The power in asking for help is often overlooked or pushed to the side when you’re in the midst of something. Will I look weak? What’s wrong with me? Is there anyone who can actually help me? Do I deserve help? Or it might simply just feel embarrassing to reach out and admit your struggles. Though, every human struggles which is why there are numerous people who have a career in helping people. The consequences of you not asking for help are far greater than the fear you have in admitting that you’re not living up to your expectations. 

Aaron Oliver, National Clinical Outreach for The Mental Health Collective and co-founder of Leadwell, struggled with asking for help for the majority of his young adult years. He started using substances in high school out of a lack of interest in school and feeling like it wasn’t for him. That substance use increased throughout the years and became an addiction in his mid twenties. It wasn’t until Aaron got arrested when he decided to give into getting help. The decision to get help has been one of the best choices he’s made in his life, leading him to not only a better life but also allowing him to lead others to their better lives.

On this episode of Success is Subjective, Aaron joins Joanna to share his journey going from a college dropout who struggled with addiction, to now working with young adults in their own struggles. Aaron used to never feel like school was for him and now has a huge interest and goal to go back to school to continue his education, and continue bettering himself. Listen in for insight on how reaching out for help was one of the best things to happen for Aaron and how he works to encourage others to their full potential. 

What You Will Learn

Saying “I don’t think college is for me” is totally normal.  College can wait!

Trying to make school work while keeping social life the main priority

Dropping out of college in the 4th semester

How a parent responds after their child withdraws from college can make or break what happens next.  

It’s okay to take a break from school, you just need to have a plan!

Why hiring a Consultant would have been really helpful

How important it is for a family to also get treatment for themselves too

How going through the full continuum of treatment is paramount

It’s never too late to return to college 

Connect with Aaron Oliver

Aaron Oliver of The Mental Health Collective

Call Admissions: 888-717-9355 or Personal: 804-916-0965 

Email [email protected]

The Mental Health Collective Admissions: Call 888-717-9355

Connect with Joanna Lilley  

Lilley Consulting

Lilley Consulting on Instagram 

Lilley Consulting on Facebook 

Sponsored by: www.ParentTrainers.com

Email [email protected]

Most people come out of their childhood with some type of trauma or unfortunate experience. That can cause a lot of baggage going into the early adult years, possibly leading to more hardships. Through every experience it can be so difficult to understand why you’re there and to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Though, each situation, whether good or bad, leads you to the next thing. The next opportunity that you can either choose to embrace or continue to question. 

Bre Wolta, a Director of Business Development, grew up with her fair share of family struggles that stuck with her into her early adult years. Through all the hardships, Bre longed for a sense of belonging and control, which led her to develop an eating disorder while in college. It wasn’t until a networking event for one of her marketing jobs, where she felt led to a therapist and began her healing journey, uncovering the wounds of her past. Bre’s experience in her eating disorder recovery and being a family member of someone in long-term recovery has brought her to develop a passion for working with people of addiction. She works at NorthStart Transitions, educating people on the resources available on their journey to finding themselves.

On this episode of Success is Subjective, Bre joins Joanna to share her story as she struggled with childhood trauma in her early adult years and how an unfortunate job experience led her to a path of healing. The path of healing that her hardships brought her to, has led her to work with people in similar hardships. Listen in for Bre’s insight on the importance of trusting that the hardships in life will all play out in your favor and how that is apparent in her own life today.

What You Will Learn

• The assumption growing up that college was the only option
• Homesickness in college
• How other girls’ obsessive behaviours started to influence Bre  
• Eating Disorders on College Campuses
• Being the sibling of a young adult in recovery
• Dealing with layers of family struggles while in college
• Feeling lost after college
• Changing directions to the marketing world 
• How an unfortunate job managed to lead Bre to her therapist
• Bre’s journey starting to work with helping people
• How Bre was led to where she is now, working with NorthStar
• The importance of advocating what you're worth
• Embracing the growth that hardships bring

Connect with Bre Wolta

• Bre Wolta of NorthStar Transitions  
• Admissions: Call 303.558.6400
• Email [email protected] 
• Call 720.422.2998
• Bre Wolta on Instagram 

Connect with Joanna Lilley  

• Lilley Consulting
• Lilley Consulting on Instagram 
• Lilley Consulting on Facebook 
• Sponsored by: www.ParentTrainers.com
• Email [email protected]

Growing up, family life plays a huge role in one’s emotional health and life steps as a young adult enters the real world. Whether it’s growing up being a child of an alcoholic, dealing with taking care of a sick relative, divorced parents, etc. Is it possible to not follow those footsteps and that path that feels like all you know?

Chase Sewell and Jessica Martindale both come from childhoods where the pressure for them to make better choices than their relatives, was very prominent. Chase grew up with an alcoholic dad and Jessica grew up in the middle of many family crises starting in high school. During school, Chase and Jessica found in their journey that their health was more important than school and had to find their own times to make that a priority. Chase's passion for working with people reignited when he went to treatment for substance abuse and Jessica found a similar passion when she found treatment for herself, as a sibling of someone recovering with addiction. They both find themselves now pursuing that passion wholeheartedly in the emotional health world where they work at Onsite, helping people find healing and connection.

On this episode of Success is Subjective, Chase and Jessica join Joanna to share their journeys coming from difficult childhoods and how they came to use those experiences to help other people in similar positions. The moment both Chase and Jessica received help in their journey is when they were pushed to the career they both have come to love. Listen in for Chase and Jessica’s insight on dealing with family crises at a young age and on the importance of trusting the journey, with the help of others.

What You Will Learn

Being an Adult Child of an Alcoholic (ACOA)

Going to college just to go, and not being prepared for what “going to college means” 

How back when Chase was in treatment, Collegiate Recovery wasn’t a thing  

How treatment is not a quick fix, and the importance of participating in an Extended Care program. 

College isn’t going anywhere 

Going against the grain (aka your parents) to pursue your dreams, especially when it comes to Jess’ musical career.

Having a Learning Disability and the importance in asking for help 

Connect with Chase and Jessica

Chase and Jessica are no longer with Onsite.  You can contact Onsite Workshops and Milestones at Onsite via their websites. 

Connect with Joanna Lilley  

Lilley Consulting

Lilley Consulting on Instagram 

Lilley Consulting on Facebook 

Sponsored by: www.ParentTrainers.com

Email [email protected]

No one wants to hear that the most difficult storm they are going through will bring the biggest rainbow. Though, for many that may be the case. Whether that rainbow looks like simply just added growth to your bring or an entire transformation for the better, each and every challenge has something to add to your life. 

Carson Pitts, an Outreach and Admissions Specialist at Momentum Recovery, wouldn’t be where he is today without the challenges he endured throughout his early adult years. School never felt like his thing growing up and starting in high school substance abuse became very prominent in his life. Throughout college, the substance abuse increased and only got worse following college graduation. It wasn’t until Carson’s family and friends intervened that he finally found a sense of clarity in his life while in treatment. Carson went on to do extended care treatment at Momentum and now works at Momentum Recovery helping young men start a healthy fulfilling life.

On this episode of Success is Subjective, Carson joins Joanna to share his journey going from being absorbed into substances with school not being his thing at all, to now having interest in school and in fully enjoying his life. The journey to get to where Carson is now was a long and drawn out process but if it weren’t for his challenges, he wouldn’t find himself at Momentum. Listen in for Carson’s insight on the importance of valuing the challenging times in life and how he now works to bring that passionate way of living to struggling young adults.

What You Will Learn

• Being surrounded by family members who value secondary education
• The struggle of going to school with dyslexia and ADD
• The transition from a small, sheltered private school into a public school
• Carson’s experience in boarding school
• Substance abuse increasing in college
• The journey of finding a ‘real’ job after college
• How college drinking didn’t leave Carson after college and what addiction looks like for a college graduate in the work world
• Carson’s parents attempts to help him get sober
• The family intervention
• Carson’s life changing experience at Four Circles Wilderness Program
• How being in the wilderness was beneficial for Carson’s ADD
• Carson’s experience at Momentum aftercare program
• The importance of extended care treatment for long term recovery
• What Carson does now, working with Momentum
• The importance of realizing how much your actions impact your loved ones

Connect with Carson Pitts

• Carson Pitts of Momentum Recovery
• Call (910) 386-3608
• Email [email protected]

Connect with Joanna Lilley  

• Lilley Consulting
• Lilley Consulting on Instagram 
• Lilley Consulting on Facebook 
• Sponsored by: www.ParentTrainers.com
• Email [email protected]

Life is not a race. College is not a race. The amount of accomplishments you have in life is not a race. The only race there is, is the growth within yourself. College isn’t going anywhere and life is long. Lean into the process. Enjoy every day. Take a break if you need to. It’s perfectly okay to take your time. In fact, it’s better to. Learn to sit with yourself and to be authentic and honest. That’s when you come to fully find yourself and find your tribe in life, and naturally allow the end of that process to be much more fulfilling than running a silly race.

Jake Weld, Vice President, Director of Admissions and Business Development for Mansfield Hall, had a sense of what he wanted to do when entering college, though never quite knew what to do with all his many passions, so he did what he knew best. He took on new adventures throughout his time going back and forth between college and explored himself and the world, which was exactly what he needed to create forward progress in his path. So much so, that he acquired many degrees as he went back to school 3 more separate times after his freshman year. The time away brought him to love academics and lean into his passions on a whole nother level. Now, Jake helps provide academic, social, and independent living skills support to students who are going to college. 

On this episode of Success is Subjective, Jake joins Joanna to share his untraditional journey as a young adult, through college and his adventurous gap years. Jake’s exciting and different path is what it looks like when allowing college to wait, becomes the best decision in the entire trajectory of one’s life. Listen in for insight on Jake’s journey to where he now supports students to achieve their maximum potential - wherever that path may lead.

What You Will Learn

The huge expectation about college that surrounded Jake growing up 

How Jake’s parents reacted to him choosing to leave college after his freshman year

How the college that he refused to go to was where he ended up when plan A failed

Muddling through college and what it’s like telling your parents you are dropping out of school  

What Jake did instead with a good friend for 4 months that allowed him time to self reflect

How important the time off was for forward progress

College Can Wait!

How different and interesting college became every time Jake would go back

Jake’s love for pursuing the education of his passions brought him to get multiple degrees, and going back a couple years after to get even more

Finding work you are passionate about! 

It’s okay to struggle and ask for help

Connect with Jake Weld

Mansfield Hall

Jake Weld of Mansfield Hall

Virtual Hall

Call (877) 205-3785

Email  [email protected] or [email protected]

References

The National Outdoor Leadership School (NOLS)

Connect with Joanna Lilley  

Lilley Consulting

Lilley Consulting on Instagram 

Lilley Consulting on Facebook 

Sponsored by: www.ParentTrainers.com

Email [email protected]

At the end of the day, this life is yours. Not anyone else’s. What is YOUR purpose? What is it that YOU want to do? Not what your parents want you to do. Not what Johnny down the block thinks you should do. Not even what people think you can or cannot do. Where do you want to take YOUR life?

Lana Sackwild is a lucid dreaming and lucid living transpersonal life coach, research scientist and founder of Get Lucid With Lana, LLC. Lana’s journey to the transformational life she has now wasn’t all rainbows and butterflies. She had a rough start to her academic journey in London, UK, never feeling like she fit in, teachers telling her she wasn’t capable, always feeling behind, etc.  Most people who knew Lana wouldn’t have thought she’d even make it into her 20’s with the downhill slope she was on. These battles she faced were nothing but easy, but she kept moving towards where she felt she needed to be, and that ultimately led her to where she feels she was designed to be. That journey took her from London, to Japan, and to finally finding a sense of home in Colorado. In Boulder, CO Lana stays busy working with clients from 30+ countries where she provides coaching that focuses on lucid dreaming for mitigating depression and its uses as a follow-up treatment in the mental health field. 

On this episode of Success is Subjective, Lana joins Joanna to share her journey going from a high school dropout to coming to own her own business where she brings transformation for 100’s of people around the world. Lana has managed to stay true to where she’s felt called despite the many battles she’s faced. Listen in for insight on Lana’s unique story going from London all the way to Colorado to help others break free from their own life barriers.

What You Will Learn

• Growing up in London, UK
• How prevalent gap years are in London 
• Feeling out of place in high school
• Skipping school and falling behind
• When Lana’s got admitted to treatment
• The dangers of antidepressants and prescribed medication
• Going back to school and still feeling out of place
• What brought Lana to feel called to move to Japan 
• Feeling born again in Japan
• How Lana ended up in Boulder, Colorado
• What Lana does now with Lucid Dreaming
• The importance of focusing on what resonates most with YOU

Connect with Lana Sackwild

• Lana Sackwild 
• Dreaming Wide Awake Retreat
• Lana on Instagram
• Lana on Facebook
• Lana on Youtube
• Lana on Twitter
• Email [email protected]

Connect with Joanna Lilley  

• Lilley Consulting
• Lilley Consulting on Instagram 
• Lilley Consulting on Facebook 
• Success is Subjective on Tune in Radio
• Sponsored by: www.ParentTrainers.com
• Email [email protected]

Some of the best things in life come about after multiple tries. It takes one step forward to get started with anything, but it takes continuous tries to excel at something. Giving up after the first try won’t get you anywhere.

Chris Blankenship, a clinical therapist at Open Sky Wilderness Therapy, could have easily given up after a college suspension, though he instead chose nothing but resiliency and adversity. After continuously justifying his party behavior in his first semester of college, he was forced to leave for a semester. His semester off ended up being the perfect piece to his life puzzle, introducing him to a huge passion for the outdoors. When he returned to college, he found that the passion drove him even more in school and he even managed to still graduate on time, with honors in a degree of psychology, later continuing his education in grad school. Chris now finds himself 6 years into being a therapist in Wilderness Therapy, where he works with emerging young adults.

On this episode of Success is Subjective, Chris joins Joanna to share his interesting story where a college suspension led him to a passion that would drive the rest of his life. The resiliency he had after getting suspended in college is truly motivating and goes to show that anything is possible with some hard work and dedication. Listen in for insight on how Chris found himself working with young adults who he personally relates with and works to bring them to find a sense of their best self.

What You Will Learn

• College feeling like a predetermined factor
• Chris’s college experience
• When partying started catching up with him that simply justifying couldn’t fix anymore
• Getting suspended at the University of Colorado
• Breaking the news to the parents
• The hard work spent on the semester off
• What Chris did differently when he went back to the University of Colorado
• Chris’s time at Teach for America in New Orleans
• Going from Hong Kong to London by train to learn more about countries’ juvenile system
• The importance of traveling abroad for people, young or old!
• How Chris ended up back at Open Sky Wilderness Therapy after grad school

Connect with Chris Blankenship

• Open Sky Wilderness Therapy
• Chris Blankenship at Open Sky Wilderness Therapy
• Admissions at Open at Sky: 970-759-8324
• Email [email protected] 

Resources

• Teach For America

Connect with Joanna Lilley  

• Lilley Consulting
• Lilley Consulting on Instagram 
• Lilley Consulting on Facebook 
• Sponsored by: www.ParentTrainers.com
• Email [email protected]

No one can prepare you for what all life will bring. Each journey is different. The path can be as windy and bumpy as it gets, or it might be easier than most. Many things are learned through first hand experience and whatever the journey brings, it’s best to learn to take whatever comes your way as it comes and learn to work with it, while also working hard to get where you desire to be. 

Angela Baird-Hepworth, clinical director and primary therapist for Aloft Transitions, has a very unique and rocky story. She seemed to experience hit after hit in her early adult years. From dealing with PTSD from the traumatic experience of 9/11 while living in NY, to dealing with attachment issues as an adoptee away from home, to losing a sense of joy in life, to being denied time after time in what she thought she wanted to do in life. The hits kept coming and things seemed to be working against her. Turns out the hits would come to drive her to make a difference in the world and bring her a passion in working with young adults, especially adoptees. Angela now works in mental health counseling and is working to get her PhD in psychology to further her passion and career.

On this episode of Success is Subjective, Angela joins Joanna to share her story of dealing with hit after hit in her young adult years, to eventually finding healing for herself and clarity in her purpose. Angela’s perseverance throughout her journey will be sure to inspire you and show that sometimes the hardest times are simply building you up to a better version of yourself and your life. Listen in for insight on Angela’s challenges as she navigated the long, windy path and became a counselor for struggling young adults who are in a lonely place that she once found herself.

What You Will Learn

• Moving around the U.S as a kid
• College in NY
• Angela’s life after she experienced 9/11 from 20 miles away
• The mental health struggles that increased
• When Angela’s joys in life started drifting away
• What Angela originally wanted to do career wise
• College complications
• Dealing with attachment issues with being far away from family and being adopted 
• Being in  an abusive relationship
• The continuous hits Angela kept experiencing
• Taking a break from college. College isn’t going anywhere 
• How a reality TV show completely changed Angela’s career path
• How Angela found herself in Idaho
• Pain is temporary

Connect with Angela Baird-Hepworth

• Aloft Transitions
• Email [email protected], or Call 208-870-2069
• Jason Wood, CEO/Founder at [email protected], or Call 208-365-8049

Connect with Joanna Lilley  

• Lilley Consulting
• Lilley Consulting on Instagram 
• Lilley Consulting on Facebook 
• Sponsored by: www.ParentTrainers.com
• Email [email protected]

Whether you're a high school dropout, in addiction recovery, a single dad...whatever it may be. The past doesn’t take away the value and potential of your life. Don’t count yourself out just because you might’ve slipped up. Be open to a different path. From high school dropout, to doing really well in school. That’s something that anybody can do. Whatever your past is, is not a barrier to be able to achieve what you want in life.

Nico Doorn, Executive Director of Alpha 180 transitional program, had a fixed mindset in his early young adult years that there wasn’t much of a future for himself, which made it difficult to experience the growth that was possible. Nico’s journey started out as having a 9th grader education with no hope for himself and heavy mental health struggles. He went on to go to many treatment centers for mental health and substance abuse, but it wasn’t until he had his son when he decided to make a complete change and start a new life. After getting clean, Nico found a vision spark when he discovered the collegiate recovery program at Texas Tech and the fact that there was actually a chance for him there. After a lot of hard work and dedication, Nico made it into the Texas Tech program and later found himself graduating from grad school. The layout of Nico’s journey wasn’t preferred, but he made it work out in the end for him and his son.

Nico now helps run a transitional program for students that are leaving treatment, to bridge them back into college to be academically ready, providing a community and a platform to help navigate them to not be alone. 

On this episode of Success is Subjective, Nico joins Joanna to share his journey going from a highschool dropout, to graduating from grad school. Nico finds himself in a life that he never dreamed he’d ever find himself in. Listen in for insight on Nico’s inspiring story and how he has helped start and run a transitional platform for students where young men can find the support they need and deserve.

What You Will Learn

Dropping out of high school in 9th grade

The start of Nico’s mental health struggles

How Nico’s son was the motivation he needed to get better

The unexpected opportunity that never seemed possible at Texas Tech

The benefits Nico experienced in the collegiate recovery program

What life was like going to school, working at a treatment center, and having a 4 year old as a single dad

Connect with Nico Doorn

Alpha 180 

Call 833-257-4218

Email [email protected]

References

Collegiate Recovery at Texas Tech University

Contact for the Association for Recovery in Higher Education (ARHE)

Questions to ask when researching Collegiate Recovery Programs 

Nuances in navigating the treatment and Collegiate Recovery worlds 

Check out Nico’s TEDx talk from 2017 at Vanderbilt University 

Importance of hiring a Therapeutic Consultant 

Connect with Joanna Lilley  

Lilley Consulting

Lilley Consulting on Instagram 

Lilley Consulting on Facebook 

Sponsored by: www.ParentTrainers.com

Email [email protected]