In today’s episode, we explore one of the most hope-filled principles in all relationships: repair — the process of healing after disconnection. Research shows that strong relationships aren’t built on never fighting, but on learning how to come back together when things fall apart.

Drawing from Dr. John Gottman’s decades of research, Dr. Becky Kennedy’s insights on emotional repair, and teachings from The Anatomy of Peace, we break down what repair really looks like and why it matters. You’ll learn how small repair attempts — a gentle touch, a sincere apology, a soft restart — can restore trust, strengthen emotional safety, and transform the way we love.

Whether you’re navigating marriage, parenting, friendship, or healing after hurt, this episode offers practical language and research-based tools to rebuild connection and begin again with humility and compassion.

🌿 In this episode:

• What repair is and why it matters more than perfection

• Gottman’s research on repair attempts and long-term relationship success

• Dr. Becky Kennedy’s reminder that “it’s never too late to repair”

• How repair strengthens emotional regulation and resilience

• Real examples of what repair sounds like in everyday life

• A weekly practice to begin repairing gently and intentionally

✨ Takeaway:

Repair isn’t about erasing conflict — it’s about choosing connection again.

Find handouts, journal prompts, and the Repair Tracker on Instagram: @sunflowersessionswithem

Keep choosing Light, my friend.

DR BECKY TED TALK: https://www.ted.com/talks/becky_kennedy_the_single_most_important_parenting_strategy?utm_campaign=tedspread&utm_medium=referral&utm_source=tedcomshare

John and Julie Gottman TED TALK: https://www.ted.com/talks/julie_and_john_gottman_even_healthy_couples_fight_the_difference_is_how

Resources + References

• Gottman, J. & Silver, N. (1999). The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work.

• Kennedy, B. (2022). Good Inside.

• Schore, A. N. (2012). The Science of the Art of Psychotherapy.

• Arbinger Institute. (2015). The Anatomy of Peace.

In this lesson from the Light and Truth workshop, we explore one of the most powerful skills in relationships: learning to truly see each other. If you have ever felt misunderstood, disconnected, or stuck in the same patterns again and again, this episode will help you shift the way you show up in your closest relationships.

We break down Gottman research on bids for connection, the tiny moments of turning toward that build emotional safety and trust over time.

Inside this episode:

• What it means to see your partner and family with clarity

• The science of bids for connection and everyday love

• Why small moments matter more than grand gestures

• Reflection questions to help you apply this today

This is not about perfection. It is about attention, compassion, and choosing connection in the ordinary moments. Let this lesson be your reminder that transformation comes little by little, as we choose to see and respond with intention.

For worksheets, tools, and daily inspiration, connect with me on Instagram at @sunflowersessionswithem.

You were made for love. Let’s practice it with purpose.

Most relationship problems don’t start because we stop loving each other — they start because we stop *seeing* each other clearly. In this episode, Emily unpacks the research behind what it really means to understand and connect in our relationships. Drawing from the work of Carl Rogers (1961) and relationship expert John Gottman (Gottman & DeClaire, 1997; Gottman & Silver, 2015), this episode explores how communication patterns like harsh startups and the “Four Horsemen” can quietly erode trust — and how small shifts toward empathy, awareness, and soft startups can transform the tone of our interactions.

You’ll learn simple, science-backed strategies to see your loved ones more clearly, respond with understanding, and bring truth back into your everyday connections.

**References:**

Rogers, C. R. (1961). *On becoming a person: A therapist’s view of psychotherapy.* Houghton Mifflin.

Gottman, J. M., & DeClaire, J. (1997). *The relationship cure.* Three Rivers Press.

Gottman, J. M., & Silver, N. (2015). *The seven principles for making marriage work.* Harmony Books.

When your mind starts spiraling — pause, breathe, and ask:
What’s actually true here?

This is where guilt turns to compassion and chaos softens into calm.

In this week’s podcast, we dive into the Truth step of the Light & Truth Workshop — reframing with kindness, choosing compassion, and befriending your inner co-pilot along the way.

Something not discussed in this podcast is how we can fill our lives with truth by the things we consume both food, technology, and also the people and places we surround ourselves with. This is also a vital part of being able to see clearly!

In this episode, we take the next step in our Light and Truth journey as we learn to see clearly by shining light on distorted thinking.

Psychologists call these patterns cognitive distortions, you know those unhelpful stories our minds tell that cloud our peace. When we can name them, we can change them.

Take a few quiet minutes with me to pause, notice, and gently label the thoughts that twist your reality. You’ll leave feeling more aware, more compassionate, and more in control of your inner world.

10 COMMON COGNITIVE DISTORTIONS:

All-or-Nothing Thinking — WHEN YOU SEE THINGS AS ALL GOOD OR ALL BAD. “If I can’t clean the house perfectly, I’m a terrible mom.”

Overgeneralization — TAKING ONE EVENT AND ASSUMING IT ALWAYS HAPPENS. “I forgot to pack snacks today. I always mess things up.”

Mental Filter — FOCUSING ON THE NEGATIVE AND IGNORING THE POSITIVE. One child complains, and that’s all you can see.

Discounting the Positive — MINIMIZING GOOD EXPERIENCES OR DOWNPLAYING YOUR WINS. “The kids made me a card, but it doesn’t really count.”

Jumping to Conclusions (Mind Reading / Fortune Telling) — ASSUMING YOU KNOW WHAT OTHERS THINK OR PREDICTING THE WORST. “My friend didn’t text back. She must think I’m annoying.”

Magnification / Catastrophizing — BLOWING THINGS OUT OF PROPORTION. “If my daughter isn’t invited to the party, she’ll never have friends.”

Emotional Reasoning — BELIEVING YOUR FEELINGS ARE FACTS. “I feel overwhelmed, so I must be failing as a mom.”

‘Should’ Statements —STOP "SHOULD'ING" ON YOURSELF. HOLDING YOURSELF OR OTHERS TO RIGID, UNREALISTIC RULES. “I should never get frustrated with my kids.”

Labeling & Mislabeling —ASSIGNING A GLOBAL LABEL TO YOURSELF OR OTHERS. “I’m a bad mom.”

Personalization / Blame — TAKING RESPONSIBILTY FOR THINGS OUT OF YOUR CONTROL. “My baby is fussy. It must be my fault.”

As Dr. Kristin Neff teaches, self-compassion is key. Be gentle as you notice and name these thoughts. You’re not calling yourself out — you’re calling yourself in.

Follow along on Instagram for visuals and mindfulness tools: @sunflowersessionswithem

Welcome to Part 1 of the Light + Truth Workshop Series! In this episode, Emily introduces the core principles of Light and Truth — a daily tool to help you see clearly through life’s storms.

Together, we’ll talk about what it means to pause, bring awareness to your thoughts, and begin to notice where distortion might be clouding your perspective. You’ll learn the first step toward emotional resilience: shining light on your thoughts before reacting to them.

Take a breath, grab a journal, and join me as we start this journey toward clarity, calm, and self-compassion.

Follow along on Instagram @sunflowersessionswithem 🌻

Want a simple tool to see life more clearly? Welcome to Sunflower Sessions! I’m Emily, and in this first episode, I’m sharing the principles behind my Light and Truth workshop.

Learn Lesson 1: A Daily Tool to See Clearly Through Life’s Storms. Discover how to spot common cognitive distortions like all or nothing thinking, mind reading, and catastrophizing, and reframe them with truth and self compassion. Backed by research from cognitive behavioral therapy (Beck & Haigh, 2014), mindfulness (Shapiro et al., 2006), and self compassion (Neff, 2011), these tools help you pause, gain clarity, and respond with calm.

This episode kicks off a series exploring my full workshop, including relationships and boundaries with technology. Follow along on Instagram for tips and updates @sunflowersessionswithem