Sunflowers & Red Feathers Blogcast

Denisa White is a professional Bereavement Counselor in the UK. She is a member of the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy. After losing her grandmother in 2005 she quickly learned what devastating loss feels likes. She has since learned through her own journey that she has a passion for helping others on similar grief paths. She loves what she does and you can see it in her work. She gives tips for coping with grief on her IG page. We are excited to talk to her about grief journaling!

IG: @bereavement_counselling_uk

https://linktr.ee/denisa.counselling

Breklyn was born on 5/23/16 and lived 10 hours. She had no heartbeat and was brain dead. Corchele’s goal is to “shatter the stigma about pregnancy, infant and child loss. And also the stigma about grief.” Her non-profit, Because of Breklyn, provides support to others going through a similar loss.

As part of our interview series, our next guest is Marigold Moms. They started Marigold Moms after they both lost their daughters. These two sisters have both known loss. They both lost their little girls only a few years apart. Though their experiences are different, they were bonded even more by their grief. Together, they created a community of Loss Moms. They talk about their girls, their grief journey, and encourage other moms to share their stories as well. These two together are hilarious! You’ll get some good advice but also a good laugh. They are adorably encouraging and inspirational!

The fact of the matter is, we are different people than we once were. We have all changed since our children died. Some of us struggle with a deep depression, some have found hope and have joy in their lives. We are all on this grief journey together. Forever. And, if that journey is just starting, we believe that you need a foundation and a system to follow to help get out of that early grief. We get asked often, “How long will it hurt this bad?”, “Or when does the pain subside.” We know now that it will never go away completely, but having tools and outlets can sure help with the journey. Our grief changes us and we evolve right along with it.

Our Interview Series is slowing down and we are looking for more topics for our episodes. We recently just had both of our boys’ birthdays and are trying to find our “normal” again. Listen in for some exciting news!

Megan lost her daughter, Aria, in 2016. She learned during her own grief journey that allowing herself to grieve and letting her painful emotions in made her grief become lighter. She ran to physically get the energy out and remembers sobbing so hard it felt like her chest was ripping apart. She calls these experiences and trying times, doing “grief work.” She believes that doing the “grief work” - allowing and processing your grief - is the only way to find joy and happiness after child loss. 

Now she has her own podcast called, Grieving Moms Podcast. Megan has workshops that walk you through meditations, tapping, and other methods to process your grief. She also does one-on-one coaching and guidance. You definitely want to listen to this episode! 

Find her workshop at: www.stoptalkingstartfeeling.com 

Website & Podcast: www.meganhillukka.com/podcast

We want to talk about sudden and traumatic loss today. There is no reason to debate which type of loss is harder because there is no winning. Loss and grieving sucks no matter what when someone dies. The topic we want to discuss today is how a death that was expected may be different than that which was unexpected and why that could be. 

Alex Plaumann from Judy’s Way Incorporated is our guest. Alex and his brother started Judy’s Way Incorporated in honor of their mother. She died in a car accident in April 2020 after her second chemotherapy treatment for stage 3 lung cancer. Judy’s Way Inc is a non-profit that provides grief support and financial assistance for families who are dealing with funeral expenses, which for some, can be very unexpected and overwhelming in an already difficult time. Alex understands and has experienced this type of sudden loss and empathizes for those that are dealing with that and the need to plan and pay for a funerary costs.

There are many similarities in our grief stories and the ways our children died. That’s one of the reasons that Steffanie and I have bonded. We now have the same fear, the same anxiety. Water. Drowning. And, especially seeing children near swiftly moving water. It’s a trigger for us because of our trauma. We aren’t talking about triggers in this episode though, we want to talk about how the places in which our trauma happened were - are - beautiful places. They were our “happy places”. How can something so beautiful - the great outdoors, water, God’s wonderful works of art - bring so much pain and anxiety now? Will that ever change?

Kendra Rinaldi has her own podcast called Grief, Gratitude, and the Gray in Between. She lost her 19-year-old sister when she was 21, suffered a miscarriage, and her mom died of Pancreatic cancer 4 years ago. She is all too familiar with grief. She started her podcast in March 2020 and has been interviewing people in all different walks of grief: loss of a spouse, friend, parent, and children. Her podcast “is about exploring the grief that occurs at different times in our lives and the gratitude that can come from growing through it.” She has been able to find gratitude in her own grief and wants to provide grievers with tools to help them through their grief as well as the knowledge that they aren’t alone on their journey.

#watchreadlisten as we read The Invisible String by Patrice Karst. This is a great children's book that helps us to remember that we can still be connected to our children and others who have died. 

“You don’t need to see the Invisible String. People who love each other are always connected by a very special String made of love.”