SunShan & Rainbows ☀️🌈

In this episode, we take on the most common myths about polyamory and put them to the test. From the belief that everyone in polyamory is in or wants a triad, to the misconception that it is all about sex or not about sex at all, we explore the full spectrum of misunderstandings. We address the assumptions that polyamory is for people who fear commitment, want to cheat without guilt, or are emotionally detached.

We also challenge the idea that polyamorous people never get jealous, that being polyamorous means being open to dating anyone, and that polyamory is harmful to children. Through this conversation, we debunk stereotypes and open space for a more nuanced understanding of what polyamory really is.

Episode Resources:

Polyamory Beyond The Throuple Stereotype

When Jealousy Strikes in Polyamory

Parenting & Polyamory

More From SunShan:

Polyamory E-Books by Shani Goodson

Love Yall Tees

___________________________________________

Discover Relationship Bliss, our transformative course and coaching program designed to help polyamorous people create highly compatible, peaceful, and deeply aligned partnerships. Learn proven techniques for effective communication, deeper connection, and conflict resolution to bring bliss into your relationships.

Learn more: www.go-growdialogue.com

In this episode, we sit down with Desireé B. Stephens, an educator, counselor, and community builder whose work centers on liberation through decolonization and whole-self healing.

Desireé shares her journey of engaging in consensual non-monogamy during her early dating life and first marriage at 19, long before she had the language for it. While her husband dated and had sex with others, she remained sexually monogamous, an experience that shaped her later understanding of polyamory and relationship anarchy. We also explore how her liberation work intersects with her practice of polyamory and what it means to navigate love, sex, and freedom on her own terms.

Show Notes:

desireebstephens.com

More From SunShan:

Polyamory E-Books by Shani Goodson

Love Yall Tees

Discover Relationship Bliss, our transformative course and coaching program designed to help polyamorous people create highly compatible, peaceful, and deeply aligned partnerships.

Learn proven techniques for effective communication, deeper connection, and conflict resolution to bring bliss into your relationships.

Learn more: https://www.growdialogue.com/relationship-bliss

In this episode, we unpack some of the most common pitfalls people encounter when entering or navigating polyamorous relationships. We explore the challenges of unicorn hunting and dating only as a couple, the risks of using polyamory as a solution for failed monogamous relationships, and the problems that come from copy-pasting monogamous norms into polyamory.

We also discuss the difference between equity and equality in relationships, the danger of overextending your emotional and logistical capacity, and how avoiding conflict in the name of compersion can create long-term harm. Finally, we reflect on the unrealistic expectations that metamours must be either close friends or enemies, and how that binary can get in the way of more authentic, healthy dynamics.

This episode is an honest look at what not to do in polyamory and how to develop more sustainable and liberated relationship practices.

Episode Resources:

A Beginner’s Guide to Relationship Agreements in Non-Monogamy

Unpacking Jealousy & Envy in Polyamory

Metamour Relationships in Polyamory

More From SunShan:

Polyamory E-Books by Shani Goodson

Love Yall Tees

___________________________________________

Discover Relationship Bliss, our transformative course and coaching program designed to help polyamorous people create highly compatible, peaceful, and deeply aligned partnerships. Learn proven techniques for effective communication, deeper connection, and conflict resolution to bring bliss into your relationships.

Learn more: www.go-growdialogue.com

In this episode, we sit down with Kykujichagulia Wright to hear the powerful story of his journey into ethical non-monogamy. He shares candid reflections about his teenage years, when he often found himself having strong feelings for more than one girl and resorted to cheating because he lacked the language and models for healthy non-monogamous relationships.

We follow his story from those early dating experiences to meeting the woman who would become his wife. He talks about the pivotal moment when he shared his truth about being non-monogamous and how she ultimately chose to accept and embrace that truth as part of their marriage.

Kykujichagulia also shares how he became a vocal advocate for polyamory on social media and how his leadership as an admin of the Poly Black & Dating Facebook group has helped build community and visibility for others navigating similar paths.

More From SunShan:

Polyamory E-Books by Shani Goodson

Love Yall Tees

Discover Relationship Bliss, our transformative course and coaching program designed to help polyamorous people create highly compatible, peaceful, and deeply aligned partnerships.

Learn proven techniques for effective communication, deeper connection, and conflict resolution to bring bliss into your relationships.

Learn more: https://www.growdialogue.com/relationship-bliss

In this episode of SunShan & Rainbows, we talk about our experiences navigating polyamorous online spaces and dating apps. From the vibrant communities we found in Facebook groups like Poly Black & Dating, Poly Coast 2 Coast, and Black & Poly, to the differences we noticed between polyamory-focused groups and those centered on polygamy, we reflect on how these spaces helped us find community and feel less alone.

We also discuss our experiences using dating apps like Hinge, OKCupid, and Feeld. We explore how racial dynamics show up in online spaces, comparing our experiences in Black polyam groups with those in mixed or white-majority spaces.

In the Sexy Time segment, we share our personal stories from sex parties and clubs. We talk about what drew us to those spaces, how we explored exhibitionism and voyeurism, and what we learned along the way. This episode offers an honest and layered perspective on building connection, community, and sexual liberation through online spaces and in-person exploration.

More From SunShan:

Polyamory E-Books by Shani Goodson

Love Yall Tees

___________________________________________

Discover Relationship Bliss, our transformative course and coaching program designed to help polyamorous people create highly compatible, peaceful, and deeply aligned partnerships. Learn proven techniques for effective communication, deeper connection, and conflict resolution to bring bliss into your relationships.

Learn more: https://www.go-growdialogue.com

In this powerful episode, we sit down with Evita Lavitaloca Sawyers, a renowned coach, educator, and speaker in the polyamory and non-monogamy space. Evita opens up about her personal evolution—beginning with a conventional monogamous marriage and the desire to explore her queerness. That desire led her and her husband into swinging, a journey that exposed challenges around communication, jealousy, and emotional connection. Ultimately, this path guided them to polyamory.

Evita shares how embracing transparency and vulnerability—especially through social media—helped her connect with others navigating similar journeys. Her candid storytelling and insights not only led to a growing online presence but also to opportunities like publishing her book and becoming a trusted coach for countless individuals exploring consensual non-monogamy.

If you’ve ever wondered how people transition from monogamy to polyamory, or what it takes to show up publicly and unapologetically in your truth, this episode is for you.

Find Evita at lavitaloca34 on IG & lavitalocasawyers on FB

More From SunShan:

Polyamory E-Books by Shani Goodson

Love Yall Tees

Discover Relationship Bliss, our transformative course and coaching program designed to help polyamorous people create highly compatible, peaceful, and deeply aligned partnerships.

Learn proven techniques for effective communication, deeper connection, and conflict resolution to bring bliss into your relationships.

Learn more: https://www.growdialogue.com/relationship-bliss

In this episode of SunShan & Rainbows, we unpack the very real tension between living authentically and managing how family, friends, and the public perceive our polyamorous relationships. From navigating dual social media identities to experiencing awkward moments at events, we talk candidly about what it’s like to be “out” in some spaces and "in the closet" in others.

We explore the gendered double standards often placed on polyamorous people, where men are praised for having multiple women while women are shamed for having more than one male partner. We share stories about being the butt of jokes at social gatherings, being excluded from “family-friendly” group trips, and even navigating the ripple effects of a book written by an ex that cast polyamory in a harsh light.

In our Relationship Philosophy segment, we discuss Polyamory as Liberation—and how reclaiming our truth despite public judgment can be a radical act of self-love and freedom.

More From SunShan:

Polyamory E-Books by Shani Goodson

Love Yall Tees

___________________________________________

Discover Relationship Bliss, our transformative course and coaching program designed to help polyamorous people create highly compatible, peaceful, and deeply aligned partnerships. Learn proven techniques for effective communication, deeper connection, and conflict resolution to bring bliss into your relationships.

Learn more: https://www.go-growdialogue.com

In this episode, we sit down with polyamory coach and educator Chaneé Jackson Kendall for a rich and heartfelt conversation. She shares how she chooses love over fear when navigating the challenges of polyamory, and how that mindset has shaped her personal journey and the way she supports others.

Chaneé also opens up about gaining acceptance from family and friends for her lovestyle and what it took to build that understanding over time. We dig into the meaning of partnership, exploring the difference between using “partner” as a title versus embodying true partnership in action.

This episode offers grounded wisdom, clarity, and inspiration for anyone walking the path of intentional, values-aligned non-monogamy and polyamory.

Find Chaneé @Cheneespeaks on social media

More From SunShan:

Polyamory E-Books by Shani Goodson

Love Yall Tees

___________________________________________

Discover Relationship Bliss, our transformative course and coaching program designed to help polyamorous people create highly compatible, peaceful, and deeply aligned partnerships. Learn proven techniques for effective communication, deeper connection, and conflict resolution to bring bliss into your relationships.

Learn more: https://www.go-growdialogue.com

In this episode we explore the differences between privacy, transparency, and confidentiality and why navigating agreements and boundaries concerning them can be especially complex in polyamorous relationships.

We discuss how to craft agreements and boundaries when it comes to communication with other partners and introduce the concept of a communication alignment spectrum, which ranges from people who prefer full openness to those who prefer that their relationships not be discussed at all.

Resource:

A Beginners Guide To Relationship Agreements In Non-Monogamy

More From SunShan:

Polyamory E-Books by Shani Goodson

Love Yall Tees

___________________________________________

Discover Relationship Bliss, our transformative course and coaching program designed to help polyamorous people create highly compatible, peaceful, and deeply aligned partnerships. Learn proven techniques for effective communication, deeper connection, and conflict resolution to bring bliss into your relationships.

Learn more: https://www.go-growdialogue.com

In this powerful conversation with Kris Parker, we explore how her bisexuality became the catalyst for opening their ten‑year marriage. We discuss how that journey led them into polyamory—dating both together and separately—the emotional challenges she faced with her husband’s other relationships, and the profound shift in her perspective.

Kris also shares the inspiration behind founding Poly Coast 2 Coast, a Facebook community she created to bring polyamorous folks together across the country, helping many find life-changing loving connections. Join us for heartfelt reflections on identity, intimacy, and community-building in polyamory.

Resources:

Poly Coast 2 Coast

Kris's Facebook

IG: @ Krismas_eve2

More From SunShan:

Polyamory E-Books by Shani Goodson

Love Yall Tees

___________________________________________

Discover Relationship Bliss, our transformative course and coaching program designed to help polyamorous people create highly compatible, peaceful, and deeply aligned partnerships. Learn proven techniques for effective communication, deeper connection, and conflict resolution to bring bliss into your relationships.

Learn more: https://www.go-growdialogue.com