In this episode, we explore the unique experience of being a hinge in polyamory—the central person who connects two partners who aren't involved with each other. From defining the hinge role to diving into why it’s challenging, we unpack what it really means to carry emotional labor, balance multiple needs, and set healthy boundaries.

Sundiata and Shani each share heartfelt stories from their own journeys—what it's like stepping into that position, the exhaustion and growth it brings, and what makes the hinge identity both rewarding and complex.

And in our Break-up Story segment, Shani recounts her first experience as a hinge when a relationship went sideways and ended. Join us for an honest and compassionate look into the joys, struggles, and real-life lessons of living at the center of a polyamorous “V.”

Resources:

Article: Metamour Relationships In Polyamory by Shani Goodson

More From SunShan:

Polyamory E-Books by Shani Goodson

Love Yall Tees

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Discover Relationship Bliss, our transformative course and coaching program designed to help polyamorous people create highly compatible, peaceful, and deeply aligned partnerships. Learn proven techniques for effective communication, deeper connection, and conflict resolution to bring bliss into your relationships.

Learn more: https://www.go-growdialogue.com

Listen in as we trace Tank & Pink's journey—from meeting as teens, marrying, and raising a family, to exploring swinging, embracing polyamory, and co-founding the powerful Facebook community Poly Black & Dating. This inclusive space has fostered life-changing connections for many, including Shani & Sundiata.

Poly Black & Dating Facebook Group

Poly Black & Dating App

More From SunShan:

Polyamory E-Books by Shani Goodson

Love Yall Tees

___________________________________________

Discover Relationship Bliss, our transformative course and coaching program designed to help polyamorous people create highly compatible, peaceful, and deeply aligned partnerships. Learn proven techniques for effective communication, deeper connection, and conflict resolution to bring bliss into your relationships.

Learn more: https://www.go-growdialogue.com

In this episode of SunShan & Rainbows, we delve into our personal experiences with polyamorous dating, shedding light on the nuances and dynamics we've encountered. 💫​

We discuss:

🛤️​ Our Polyamorous Dating Journeys: Sharing stories from our paths in the polyam dating scene.

⚤​ Gender-Based Experiences: Exploring how dating differs for a man and a woman in polyamory.

🌈 Sexual Orientation Dynamics: Discussing the contrasts between Sundiata's heterosexual perspective and Shani's sexually fluid experiences. ​

📱💬 Navigating Dating Apps and DMs: Our adventures and lessons learned from using various platforms and approaches. ​

🔄​ Evolving Dating Strategies: How our approaches to dating have transformed over time.

In our Storytime segment, we re-introduce our concept of "relationship buckets"—familial, platonic, intellectual, attraction, and sexual—and discuss how we apply this framework in our dating lives. ​

Join us for an insightful conversation that navigates the complexities and joys of polyamorous dating, offering perspectives that resonate with diverse experiences.

___________________________________________

Discover Relationship Bliss, our transformative course and coaching program designed to help polyamorous people create highly compatible, peaceful, and deeply aligned partnerships. Learn proven techniques for effective communication, deeper connection, and conflict resolution to bring bliss into your relationships.

Learn more: https://www.go-growdialogue.com

In this episode of SunShan & Rainbows, we delve into the complex emotions of jealousy and envy within polyamorous relationships, sharing personal experiences and insights. 💫​

We explore:​

📚​ Defining Jealousy vs. Envy: Understanding the distinction between these emotions.

🛤️​ Personal Stories: Sharing moments when we've felt jealousy or envy, and instances where metamours have experienced these emotions towards us.

💖 Understanding Compersion: Discussing the concept of feeling joy from a partner's happiness with others. ​

In our "Well, That Went Left" segment, Sundiata recounts a relationship that took an unexpected turn, leading to a breakup.

Join us for an open conversation about managing complex emotions and fostering positive connections in polyamorous dynamics. ___________________________________________

Discover Relationship Bliss, our transformative course and coaching program designed to help polyamorous people create highly compatible, peaceful, and deeply aligned partnerships. Learn proven techniques for effective communication, deeper connection, and conflict resolution to bring bliss into your relationships.

Learn more: https://www.go-growdialogue.com

In this episode of SunShan & Rainbows, we dive into the misconception that polyamory is solely about mff triads (male-female-female) or throuples and explore the rich diversity within polyamorous relationships. 💫​

We discuss:​

🔄​ Understanding Triads: Defining closed and open triads, and their dynamics.

🛑​ Stereotypes in Polyamory: Addressing the common portrayal of polyamorous relationships as mff triads .

🏛️ Patriarchal Influences: Examining how patriarchy shapes perceptions, including biases towards MFF (male-female-female) versus MMF (male-male-female) triads. ​

🛤️​ Our Journey: Reflecting on our initial thoughts about triads and how our perspectives have evolved.

In our CNM & Polyamory Terms segment, we explain and discuss Solo Polyamory, Egalitarian Polyamory and Relationship Anarchy:

Join us as we challenge stereotypes and celebrate the diverse expressions of love within the polyamorous community. ​

___________________________________________

Discover Relationship Bliss, our transformative course and coaching program designed to help polyamorous people create highly compatible, peaceful, and deeply aligned partnerships. Learn proven techniques for effective communication, deeper connection, and conflict resolution to bring bliss into your relationships.

Learn more: https://www.go-growdialogue.com

In this episode of SunShan & Rainbows, we delve into our personal experiences with sexual liberation and how embracing polyamory has transformed our intimate lives.

We discuss:

🛏️🔒 Our Sex Lives Before Polyamory: Reflecting on our intimate experiences prior to embracing non-monogamy.

💫💞 Our Sex Lives Since Polyamory: Sharing how opening our relationship has enriched and diversified our sexual connections.

🕊️💡 Reflections on Sexual Liberation: Exploring what sexual freedom means to us and its impact on our personal growth.

We also spend some time explaining the Sexual Attraction Spectrum of asexual/ace, demisexual, graysexual, hypersexual, fraysexual, and megasexual.

In our Sexy Time segment, we offer a candid glimpse into our own intimate moments, highlighting how open communication and exploration have deepened our connection. 🔥💬

Join us for an open and honest conversation about redefining intimacy, understanding diverse sexual identities, and embracing the freedom that comes with living authentically.

As always, SunShan & Rainbows amplifies Black & African-American experiences and insights related to polyamory and consensual non-monogamy.

___________________________________________

Discover Relationship Bliss, our transformative course and coaching program designed to help polyamorous people create highly compatible, peaceful, and deeply aligned partnerships. Learn proven techniques for effective communication, deeper connection, and conflict resolution to bring bliss into your relationships.

Learn more: https://www.go-growdialogue.com

In this episode of SunShan & Rainbows, we explore our evolving perspectives on marriage and why we've chosen a different path for our relationship.

We discuss:

🔄 Shifting Beliefs: How our views on marriage have transformed over time.

🏛️ Patriarchy's Influence: Understanding marriage's roots in patriarchal structures.

🔗 Compulsory Monogamy: Challenging the societal push towards monogamous relationships.

🏠 Nuclear Family Norms: Questioning traditional family models and their limitations.

📊 Hierarchical Structures: Why we reject relationship hierarchies in favor of equality.

In our Relationship Philosophy segment, we delve into egalitarian polyamory—a philosophy that emphasizes equal respect and autonomy for all partners, moving away from traditional hierarchies.

Join us as we unpack societal norms, share personal insights, and discuss how embracing egalitarian polyamory has enriched our lives.

As always, SunShan & Rainbows amplifies Black & African-American experiences and insights related to polyamory & consensual non-monogamy.

___________________________________________

Discover Relationship Bliss, our transformative course and coaching program designed to help polyamorous people create highly compatible, peaceful, and deeply aligned partnerships. Learn proven techniques for effective communication, deeper connection, and conflict resolution to bring bliss into your relationships.

Learn more: https://www.go-growdialogue.com

In this episode of SunShan & Rainbows, we’re talking all about metamour relationships—the unique connections between your partner’s partners.

We explore:

💡 What is a metamour? Defining the role and what it means in polyamory.

💬 Our personal experiences—the highs, the lows, and everything in between.

🪞 How we perceive ourselves as metamours—personal reflections.

🌱 Hopes & fears—what we wish for in our metamour dynamics.

Episode Segment: Consensual Non-Monogamy Terms

Polyamory comes with its own language, and in this segment, we break down:

❌ Don't Ask, Don't Tell (DADT) – When partners prefer not to share details.

🔗 Parallel Polyamory – Keeping metamour relationships separate.

🌿 Garden Party Polyamory – Casual, friendly interactions between metas.

👩‍🍳 Kitchen Table Polyamory – A close-knit, family-like poly structure.

🪑 Lap-Sitting – The art of sharing affection across multiple partners.

🔀 Hinge Partner – The person connecting multiple partners in a poly network.

Join us as we dive deep into metamour dynamics, relationship growth, and how we navigate love and connection in our polyamorous lives!

As always, SunShan & Rainbows amplifies Black & African-American experiences and insights related to polyamory and consensual non-monogamy.

_____________________________________________________

Discover Relationship Bliss, our transformative course and coaching program designed to help polyamorous people create highly compatible, peaceful, and deeply aligned partnerships.

Learn proven techniques for effective communication, deeper connection, and conflict resolution to bring bliss into your relationships.

Learn more: https://www.go-growdialogue.com

In this episode of SunShan & Rainbows, we’re talking about nesting—our decision to live together as a polyamorous couple and how it has shaped our relationship and family life.

We explore:🏠 Why we chose to nest – How and why we got to the point where we wanted to live together.🔄 Our nesting experiences – The joys, challenges, and surprises since moving in together.💡 Gender roles vs. team roles – How we navigate household responsibilities in a way that aligns with our values rather than societal expectations.👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 Blended family dynamics – How we co-parent and build a harmonious home with multiple relationships in mind.

💖 Segment: Lovey Dovey’s 💖 – This week, we gush about what we love most about each other, especially when it comes to how we align in parenting.

If you’ve ever considered nesting in polyamory, blending families, or rethinking traditional household roles, this episode is packed with insights, laughs, and real-life experiences. 🎧

As always, SunShan & Rainbows amplifies Black & African-American experiences and insights related to polyamory & consensual non-monogamy.

___________________________________________

Discover Relationship Bliss, our transformative course and coaching program designed to help polyamorous people create highly compatible, peaceful, and deeply aligned partnerships. Learn proven techniques for effective communication, deeper connection, and conflict resolution to bring bliss into your relationships.

Learn more: https://www.go-growdialogue.com

Episode Description:

We’re back for Season 2! 🎉 In this episode of SunShan & Rainbows, we dive into parenting and polyamory, sharing insights from our own experiences as parents navigating consensual non-monogamy.

We discuss:

👶 Our family dynamic – How many kids we have and their ages.

🧠 Conscious parenting – How we foster open-minded, emotionally intelligent children.

💬 Introducing polyamory to children – When and how we talk about our relationships.

❓ Questions kids ask – The curious (and sometimes funny) things they want to know.

🤝 Co-parenting journey – How we collaborate to create a supportive family environment.

Plus, in our Relationship Tools segment, we share how we use regular relationship check-ins to communicate openly, proactively resolve conflict, and stay aligned as partners and parents. Whether you're a parent in a non-traditional relationship or just curious about polyamorous parenting, this episode is packed with insights and practical strategies. 🎧

As always, SunShan & Rainbows amplifies Black & African-American experiences and insights related to polyamory & consensual non-monogamy.

___________________________________________

Discover Relationship Bliss, our transformative course and coaching program designed to help polyamorous people create highly compatible, peaceful, and deeply aligned partnerships. Learn proven techniques for effective communication, deeper connection, and conflict resolution to bring bliss into your relationships.

Learn more: https://www.go-growdialogue.com